Archive of Thoughtlessness

Archive of Thoughtlessness - September '03

08/01/2003

Rabbit Rabbit:
Hey, folks, sorry about the interruption in the flow of the Thoughtlesses, but I was coving the Fringe all of yesterday for Paul's show. Here's what happened:
I finally caught up with Chris Wildrick and interviewed him about his search for The Best Tree In The World. Sadly, Chris misplaced his notebook, so Western Civilization might forever be robbed of Saturday's leaf count.

Then it was off to the Hub to catch the Variety Show. You haven't lived until you've seen Kafka's Metamorphosis presented as a musical comedy with a happy ending. After that, I took in Tiny Ninja Theater's production of MacBeth. Here's a picture of some of the cast members:

Then it was home for a marathon editing session that I just finished. My report (all 22 minutes of it) will air this Wednesday between 3 and 4 pm on WWDB (680 AM), during which, all we be explained.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
echthes - yesterday.

Learn it. Use it.

rodneyanonymous.com
Like Jack Chick without the art.

08/02/2003

Earth Vs. Babs:
While farting around on the net today, I discovered a Barbara Streisand Message board. Looks like nobody's posted there in about a year, but there were still plenty o' gems:
"God Bless Frankie valli [SIC] who supports our country and said at his show lets support our troops. Nobody wants war but we must defend ourself [SIC]. Barbara maybe you should tke [SIC] leasson [SIC] from him. including singing lesson [SIC] too!!!!"

"You big nose garage [I think he means "Garbage". I'm going to start using "You big nose garage" as a greeting, by the way]. I would never buy or attend anything you do.. You are ANTI-AMERICAN... Get out of the country like you said you would do if Bush won Pres. I will buy you a ticket ...Please do not support this person who knock [SIC] our country."

" Just leave Babs ALONE!!! She may not be as good in politics but just wathc her and listen to her!!!!! Isn't she magnificent?? She's one of the best things GOD gave us..... And you just criticize [SIC]? STOP! She has the right to talk about politics just like you......! For Gods sake...... By the way if the other guy was dying with cancer wouln't [SIC] he be congratulating Barbra [SIC] instead of complaining???? I love you (Barbra) [SIC] so much that everybody says I'm an obssessed [SIC] fanatic fan....... well I am.... Thank you for existing... Joana Portugal."

Do "obssessed" fans often misspell the names of the people their "obssessed" with? If you visit the site, be sure to check out Paul Quekel's long, long post.

Don't forget, my piece on the Fringe will air tomorrow on Paul's Show between 3 and 4 pm.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
protrepaw - urge on, impel.

Learn it. Use it. Do it for Babs

rodneyanonymous.com
You big nose garage.

Buddy Christ - The Magazine:
I give Christians a pretty hard time on this web site, so I'd just like to

take a minute to say that the majority of Christians are hard-working, decent people who believe in the separation of Church and State and do not approve of burning witches. So, would one of you non-crazy Christians phu-leeze tell me what the obviously insane Christians behind "revolve" are thinking. In case you haven't heard, revolve is a "glossy version of the New Testament aimed at teenage girls." That's loaded with shopping tips like "Make sure that Jesus would be pleased with what you wear. You don't have to look frumpy, just make sure you look like a child of God." Newsflash. Jesus Hector Christ was an Orthodox Jew. There's nothing you could possibly wear that he'd really love. "Hey, Cindy, great T-shirt. Where can I pick up one for Mary Magdalene?"
Attempting to make Jesus hip, is just going to turn kids away from Him. Who knows, maybe revolve is being underwritten by the Church of Satan and that's the plan? You don't see me putting out a magazined called dissolve for young Dionysians, wich articles like "How dressing like a slut has brought me closer to the God of the Vine.", do you?

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
dawdecha - twelve.

Learn it. Use it. You big nose garage.

rodneyanonymous.com
You big nose garage.

08/04/2003

Britney speaks her "mind":

"Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that,"
- Britney Spears

Hey, Britney, the President has decided that you are a talent-less whore.

I've got a nasty cold so I'm headed off to bed. If I sleep this thing off, I should be able to Fringe all weekend long. Yippeee.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
astachtos - gushing freely.

Learn it. Use it. You big nose garage.

rodneyanonymous.com
Gushing freely since 2002.

09/05/2003

Yalta Redux (a Play):
Cast:
Jaques Chirac.......Himself/ Prince Bandar bin Sultan
Gerhard Schroder....Himself
Vladimir Putin......Himself
George W. Bush......Himself

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
epiduaw - to go down.

Learn it. Use it. Or not.

rodneyanonymous.com
Your Home for fine Theater since 2002.

09/06/2003

Cryptome:
    Hey folks, once again I apologize for the lateness of tonight's Thoughtless, but like I've said before, it's Fringe time here in Philly. Speaking of the Fringe…
    Vienna and I saw Cryptome last night and loved it. Actually, Vienna has kind of become obsessed with it. Every ten minutes or so, she turns to me and says "Oh, and do you know what else was great about Cryptome…"
    We saw Totally Terribly True Tales From The Trailor Park; 2: 'Lil Lizzies Sleepytime Massacre tonight. It was actually a re-packaging of Wake Up Paddington, You Worthless Shit - a play I've been wanting to see for about three years. My friend Dave and I thought it was hilarious (Two audience members found it so offensive that they noisily walked out. Damn big nose garages). Vienna thought that it was OK and talked about Cryptome the whole walk home.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
prayttaw - do.

Learn it. Use it. Or die.

rodneyanonymous.com
I've had a cold since 2002.

09/08/2003

Iggles:
Sorry about ducking out on you folks last night, but the cold that I've been dodging for weeks finally caught up with me - in spades. I figured that rest would make a nice alternative to pneumonia. Besides, this site is free, what are you gonna do? Cancel your subscriptions? I'm at that point in my cold where I'm kind of "speedy", so I decided to walk to Border's at lunch rather than rest and surf ? big mistake. I ran smack into a city-sponsored pep rally for the Iggles. Hey, I've got nothing against football - I don't watch it, but I've got nothing against it. What I do have something against is my tax dollars going to pay for rallies for corporations (Which the Iggles are). I kept trying to get one of the local news stations to interview me so that I could say "Who cares that most of our public school students read below their grade level - Iggles are goin' all the way!"
If there's one thing I hate more that wasted tax dollars it's bad archeology. I knew that something just didn't seem right with the Discovery Channel's Nefertiti Resurrected. Claiming a mummy is Nefertiti on the basis of a wig found in its tomb is like claiming that the IceMan was Robin Hood because he carried a bow.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
heypar - liver.

Learn it. Use it. Plato did.

rodneyanonymous.com
I've had a cold since 2002.

09/09/2003

Dysfunction Junction:
Erectile Dysfunction or, as many people call it "Joining the Young Republicans" is no laughing matter (unless, like me, you've never had a problem with "Mr. Hoo-Ha".), despite the best efforts of the company I work for to turn it into one. They recently launched a new product that cures E.D. (No, it's not the Spice Channel) and as part of the celebration of the product's release, they handed out cookies...

Now what does that look like to you? Pencils down. Those of you who answered "Sweet Jesus with a George Foreman grill! That's a 'giggy'" answered correctly (Immaturely, but correctly). Sure, it's supposed to be the product's logo, but since the logo also looks like a giggy...
By the way, the cookies were quickly snatched up (pardon the pun) by snickering hordes of employees.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
edaphos - bottom.

Learn it. Use it.

rodneyanonymous.com
Eating cookies since 2002.

09/10/2003

Put me in, Coach:
Our celebrity spokesman ("spokesperson" just won't work on this one) for our new anti-Erectile Dysfunction drug stopped by today to give us all a pep talk. On the one hand, I give this guy a lot of credit for having the balls (no pun intended) to be the poster boy for E.D. I know that, if my Johnson filed for chapter 11, I sure as Hell wouldn't be telling the world about it. On the other hand, this bozo didn't even talk about E.D. He talked about winning and having a positive attitude. And the really sad part was that the crowd hung on his every word like he was the Dalai Freakin' Lama. Hello? People? This guy's an ex-football coach, not Jean Paul Sartre. While he was coaching, approximately one quarter of all NFL players had at least one felony conviction on their sheets. Besides, should a company that makes trillions of dollars each year from selling anti-depressants be paying a guy to tell people to have a positive attitude? Hell no. We should be paying him to scream "Existence is an artificial construct. Happiness can only be found in pills." Hey, pal, maybe if you hadn't have scarfed down so much red meat at your restaurant you wouldn't have E.D.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
bebeyeos - secure.

Learn it. Use it.

rodneyanonymous.com
I just don't feel well, I tell you.

09/11/2003

9/11:
Finally over my cold and feeling great - then I remembered what day it is. Have any of you read Why America Slept by Gerald Posner? In it he claims that, among other things, that the Saudi government paid off al-Qaida in exchange for immunity from terror attacks, that Saudi Princes knew in advance about the Sept. 11 attacks, and that most of the Saudi officials who assisted al-Qaida all died mysteriously.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
didascalos - teacher.

Learn it. Use it.

rodneyanonymous.com
Hidding under the sofa since 2002.

09/12/2003

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
Thayotays - Divinity; divine nature.

Learn it. Use it.

09/13/2003

I hate you, please die.
Man, am I in a foul mood. I got a late start on the day (like 5:00 in the afternoon late) and I've been playing catch up all day. Nothing to eat in the 'fridge, so I drug myself seven blocks to the Taco House (Samosa, my original destination, was closed) where I got to listen to a bunch of twenty-somethings blather on about movies that a four-year-old would find moronic. Add to that the family of suburbanites who were looking for a Chuck E. Cheese on 13th and Walnut and the fact the every MAC machine in the city is out of order. I'm about to launch into hours of senseless screaming. So, how are all of you?

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
ksenos - stranger.

Learn it. Use it.

09/14/2003

Osama the Love Bug.
Hey, kids, do you love SUVs? I mean really love SUVs? The way I love SUVs? Then you'll enjoy this niffy poster that you can hang up all over your town to show SUV owners that how much, and by whom, they're loved.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
kentron - goad.

Learn it. Use it.

09/15/2003

Pol Pot to the register, please.
I swear to Dionysus that the Home Depot on Delaware Avenue is turning into the goddamn Barbary Coast (This may be due to its close proximity to the river, I dunno.). Last week I got stuck in line behind some guy who was trying to pull a credit card scam (Stick it to The Man, buddy - just not on my time) and yesterday, while I was there, a fist fight broke out. OK, I know that this is the same store that hired Little Jimmy Satan, but they need reassess themselves before the plumbing aisle turns into the Killing Fields. And if any of you Home Depot folks are reading this, I have a question for you - would it kill you to sell molding by the foot instead of in awkward eleven foot pieces? And while I'm at it - those guys who beat Nat King Cole, back in the fifties, should've been castrated.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
Theybeye - Thebes.

Learn it. Use it.

09/16/2003

An anchor of sanity in a sea of madness.
OK, there's been some debate in the forum (OK, not a great deal, but I was at a loss for a Thoughtless today) about Creationism vs. Evolution, so let's put this sucker to bed permanently, shall we?

Myth: Creationism is not a science.
Fact: Creationism is, indeed, a science. A very bad science. Let's look at one of the claims of creationists and see how it holds up:
The universe is about 10,000 years old. This is akin to saying that the universe will be 37 next Tuesday. Why? Because of the speed of light. You see, it takes millions of years for the light from the stars to reach the Earth. When you see the stars, your looking back into a past that Creationist say was never there. Ah, but Dr. Robert E. Kofahl, Science Director of the Creation-Science Research Center, has proposed that the speed of light has slowed down to its present speed, to which, I can only respond with "Blow me. The laws of nature are free to evolve, but nothing else is? Did Sally Struthers* send you your degree in the mail, dipshit?"

Myth: Evolution is just a theory.
Fact Evolution is not just a theory. It's a damn good theory. It's a damn good theory based on observation and calculation, not divinely imparted knowledge. Or, as the National Academy of Sciences (NAS) puts it a scientific theory is "a well-substantiated explanation of some aspect of the natural world that can incorporate facts, laws, inferences, and tested hypotheses." That's why the people who study it are called "Scientists" and not "Theologians". The Museum of Creation and Earth Science (in Santee CA near San Diego) has a different idea about how data should be treated: "To determine the geological age of a fossil: Do NOT use depth (where found); do NOT use type of rock; do NOT use radiometric dating; do NOT use stage of evolution, DO use the Word of God."

OK. That puts and end to that. It's also been suggested that Creationism and Evolution should be taught side-by-side. This is a great idea - if your goal is to wipe out Christianity in our lifetime. Huh? You see, once you let one creation myth in, then you have to give equal time to all the other creation myths. Kids will either be thinking "Hey, this Hopi creation myth is way better than the Christian one I grew up. So long, Jesus, I'm changing my name to 'Johnny Many Feathers'" or they'll think "'The world exists on the back of a giant turtle'? What kind of crap is that? Hey, maybe this whole six days to create the Earth thing is crap too? OK, I'm an Atheist now."
So there are your choices. Teach Creationism and have everybody turn into pagans and Atheists, or teach Evolution and have kids cut science class to smoke in the bathroom.

* As it turns out, that may be the academic story with Creationist Kent Hovind

Oh, and Happy Birthday to Dave Blood.

PS.I may puke

The ancient Greek word(s) of the day is (are):
to saphes - the truth.

Learn it. Use it.

09/17/2003

Jerk in a box
     Hats off to our British cousins for their dogged efforts to continually piss off faux celebrity David Blaine. In case you haven't heard (And, since it hardly counts as real news, I can't blame you if you haven't), Houdini-wannabe Blaine has suspended himself in a glass box above the streets of London. His plan is to go without food for forty days (Ignoring the fact that the world is full of people who go without food on a regular basis and don't get paid for it).
     Now, in America, hundreds of idiots holding signs that read "We Love You, David" would probably show up to cheer this 'tard on, but the British aren't so easily fooled by publicity stunts. So far they've pelted Blaine's box with eggs, tried to sever his water hose, and (this is my favorite) flown a remote control helicopter dangling a hamburger within feet of him.
     Good citizens of London, RATYHTL salutes you. Keep up the good work.

PS Nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooo!!!!!

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
to prodosia - treachery.

Learn it. Use it.

09/18/2003

Clark Kent
Face it, unless Wesley Clark gets caught beating a puppy to death with a crucifix made from the flesh of unborn babies, he's going to be our next President. What kind of mud can you sling at a four star general who served in Vietnam and has never cheated on his wife? I'm starting to really look forward to the debates.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
politicos - political (duh).

Learn it. Use it.

09/19/2003

Arbeit Macht Frei
Next weekend will mark the first anniversary of the launching of RATYHTL (OK, it really marks my acquisition of rodneyanonymous.com from the state of Utah, but that doesn't sound as good). To mark this incredible historic event, I'll be making several changes to the site over the next few days:

I'll be adding a second Movie List page to help with the overflow of films.
I'll be adding a section that details my reports for WWDB's The Paul Kircher Show. This section will include pictures that I snapped while on duty, text about each story, links to the Real Audio versions of the stories, and, possibly, stuff that ended up on the cutting room floor.
A second Links page will be added
The Book of The Month will get updated this weekend - promise.
Dionysus will finally be getting His own section.
The triumphant return of the instructions for Advanced Dungeons and Darryls
The Ancient Greek Word of the Day will no longer be a jpeg file. From now on, all Greek will be in SPIONIC font, which you can download here for Mac or PC (Sorry, but those files were starting to eat up space).
In order to meet all of your RATYHTL needs, I'll be opening a web store sometime before Halloween.
WARNING: BORING TECH TALK AHEAD - I'll be switching over to cascading style sheets (which I should've started with, but I didn't expect the site to grow the way it did). I'll also be adding a new menu.

Well, it's back to work...

The ancient Greek lesson of the week is:
First declension feminine nouns and the feminine definite article
As is the case with all good languages (German, for example), Greek nouns have gender (Yes, I see the irony in this when you consider what went on in Sparta). This week we'll decline some singular feminine nouns. Next week we'll decline some feminine plural nouns, and then we'll move on to masculine and neuter nouns. Ready?

Singular	the	honour	country	sea
Nominative:	h	timh	xwra	qalattj
Accusitive	thn	timhn	xwran	qalattan
Genitive	thj	timhj	xwraj	qalattaj
Dative	th	timh	xwra	qalatth

If the above lesson looks like gibberish to you, then you need to go here and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC.

09/20/2003

Sweatin' to the Tubbies
Sorry, folks, I don't have a whole Hell of a lot to talk about, tonight. I spent most of the day going to yard sales and flea markets (Where I discovered that the Teletubbies have a workout tape. I don't know about you, but the Teletubbies never really struck me as being particularly buff. Have you ever heard anybody say "Damn, look at the pecks on Tinky Winky"?) and working on a faux wall that I'm building (I'm coved in saw dust right now.). Yes, I'm still working on the updates to the site that I wrote about last night. You'll notice them (or maybe not) over the next week.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
tiktw - give birth to
If the above word looks like gibberish to you, then you need to go here and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC.

09/21/2003

The gayest shirt EVER
Aaaah, Sunday. I slept late and around noon I made my way to the computer to see shat was up in the RATYHTL forum. And then my world collapsed. It was there that I found out, thanks to "E", that Darryl Worley is hawking American flag shirts for Wal-Mart. Hello, Cleaveland. Are you ready for the gayest ad ever ? Please folks, whatever your response to this might be, I beg of you not to go here, print out the poster, and drop it at your local War-Mart. That would be wrong

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
epizw - I quarrel with.
If the above word looks like gibberish to you, then you need to go here and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC.

09/22/2003

Hardball

Oprah interviews Hitler

Oprah: Welcome to show.
Hitler: Danke fur having me on.
Oprah: Oooh, I just love your accent. Don't you all love his accent?
[Audience applauds. Hitler shifts, uncomfortably, in his chair.]
Oprah: You are in such great shape. Isn't he in great shape, everybody?
[Audience applauds. Hitler looks about, confused.]
Oprah: How do you eat all of that German food and keep in such great shape?
I mean, I just love Black Forrest Cake. Don't you all just love Black Forrest Cake?
[Audience applauds. Hitler stares blankly.]
Oprah: Is there anyone special in your life?
Hitler: [startled] Vell?I'm very busy mit mein verk right now.
Oprah: In case you all haven't heard, and I know that some of you haven't
because the other day I was making gift baskets with some friends?don't you all just love gift baskets?
[Audience applauds. Hitler blinks rapidly.]
Oprah: They're so inexpensive, yet bring so much joy. Anyway, in case you have heard, Adolf has come with a solution ...
Hitler: Ein final solution!
Oprah: Yes, a final solution to help our Jewish friends and neighbors. Did you see Schindler's List?
Hitler: Was?
Oprah: I just loved Schindler' List. Didn't you all just love Schindler's List?
[Audience applauds. Hitler scratches his one ball]
Oprah: Thank you Adolf for stopping by. Will you join us again sometime?
Hitler: I'd love to. Und danke to you fur zat lovely poem you read at ze opening of Dachau.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
mwn - surely not?
If the above word looks like gibberish to you, then you need to go here and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC.

09/23/2003

Babyless Showers
     My wife and I have been married for ten years. We have no children. We deserve presents. Why would we get presents for not having progeny? That's the wrong question. The right question is : Why should others get presents for breeding? After all, isn't breeding a natural instinct? Why should we reward those who can't curb their urges? But if you still insist on asking why the childless (and by "childless" I mean people who choose not to have children) should get presents, I'm more than happy to tell you.
    Because my wife and I don't have kids, there's one less mini-van carting a little yard-monster to soccer practice. Because my wife and I don't have kids, Hollywood has less incentive to invest in moronic "family" films and can concentrate on intelligent films for adults. Because my wife and I don't have kids, we won't be getting a $500 per child tax rebate. Think about that the next time you're on your way to a baby shower. Which brings us to "Babyless Showers".
    "Babyless Showers" would be given to a married couple every six years that they remain married until they've been married a total of 18 years (In other words, you get three Babyless Showers - one ever six years until your 18th anniversary). Gifts would either be for the couples pets or based on their hobbies (Let's say one was into Ancient Greece and the other into Ancient Egypt - hint for family members reading this). Couples who adopt, as well as childless same-sex couples qualify for Babyless Showers. Couples trying to conceive do not. Got it? Good, let's get to work on making it a reality.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
lampros - clebrated
If the above word looks like gibberish to you, then you need to go here and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC.

09/24/2003

Oceania has always been at war with East Asia.
"Thank you, members of the Security Council. Before I ask you to vote on

sending you sons to Iraq to serve under US leadership and to be picked off, one-by-one, by everybody from Muslim extremists to Towel-Head Amway salesmen, I'd like to remind all of you that our problems date back to long before 9/11. They, in fact, date back to May of 1972 when, instead of being in the Air National Guard - where I was supposed to be - I decided to follow the Grateful Dead around the country. That's why I never took my mandatory physical back in '73. By that point, I had every drug in my system with the possible exception of Flintstones chewable vitamins. There was no way I was gonna pee in a jar then hand it over to an Air Force doctor.
    Anyway, my point is that years of drug abuse, and I think that the representative from The Netherlands will back me on this, have left me a raving paranoid. Christ, for most of the eighties, I thought that a giant lobster was following me. Now it's one thing to be a paranoid private citizen. Back then, if I got the willies, I would just hide under the bed until Laura could check all the closets in the house for Spicks and Spooks, then give me the 'all clear' sign.
    OK, fast-forward a couple of years, and I find myself sitting in the Oval Office, channel surfing. So, I come across that 'Biography' show on A&E. Dudes, never watch that show when you're baked. Especially if you're a world leader. Well, long-story-short, they're showing a biography of Saddam Hussein. I knew the name from somewhere and I guess that's what triggered my 'P-reflex', 'cause, the next thing I know, I'm hiding under my desk - convinced that Saddam was, at that very moment, building an army of killer robots. I guess you hadda be there.
    Well, that's how we got into this mess. Judge me if you will, but at least honor my request for aid - or monkey-men form the planet Krango might be raping our women before the end of the decade."

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
qorubew - make a disturbance / din
If the above word looks like gibberish to you, then you need to go here and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC.

09/25/2003

Eight Simple Rules For Burring John Ritter
As part of out huge one year anniversary celebration, we here at RATYHTL have picked our official "It Girl" for 2003 - 2004. After considering man women (most of who were porno actresses) we finally came to an agreement. May I have the envelope, please? Ladies and gentlemen the 2003 - 2004 RATYHTL "It Girl" is…
Ms. Jennifer Fitzgerald!

Who? You know, George Bush v.1.0's mistress. Ooooh, that Jennifer Fitzgerald. Congratulations, Jennifer. You're the RATYHTL 2003 - 2004 It Girl. We're sorry that you're not as well known as Monica Lewinsky - but we'll spend the next twelve months trying to change that.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
katalegw - I tell, recount
If the above word looks like gibberish to you, then you need to go here and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC.

09/26/2003

Up in my head there's an animal kingdom
OK, I'll admit that I was a little skeptical when I tuned into Animal Planet Presents The Iliad with an All-Dog Cast" last night (8:00pm EST), but after only about tem minutes I was totally won over. The acting was great. Particular standouts included Rex as Agamemnon, Bonkers as Priam, and Mitzy as Cassandra. All in all, it was much better than the USA network's Hellen of Troy. I only have two complaints. The first is that some of the "human" actors who did the voice-overs were miscast (Kelsey Grammar as Hector - gimme a break). The second is that, to my knowledge, Paris and Menelaus never sniffed each other's butts.

Ms. Jennifer Fitzgerald sez:

"Girls say yes to guys who say ouk"
And that can only mean one thing - It's time for the ancient Greek lesson of the week!
Last week we declined some singular feminine nouns. Let's review:

Singular	the	honour	country	sea
Nominative:	h	timh	xwra	qalattj
Accusitive	thn	timhn	xwran	qalattan
Genitive	thj	timhj	xwraj	qalattaj
Dative	th	timh	xwra	qalatth

Got it? Good, 'cuz this week we'll look at declining feminine plurals. Ready?

Plural	the	honour	country	sea
Nominative:	ai	timai	xwrai	qalattai
Accusitive	taj	timas	xwraj	qalattaj
Genitive	twn	timwn	xwrwn	qalattwn
Dative	taij	timaij	xwraij	qalattaij

If the above word lesson like gibberish to you, then you need to go here and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC.

09/27/2003

The Fongies presented by Jerry "Fongo" Fongowski
"Well, it's the 1st anniversary of the launching of RATYHTL (it's also, coincidentally, the first anniversary of the internet bubble bursting). Most web sites would take this opportunity to flaunt their

successes, but we here at RATYHTL prefer to focus on our many failures. Ladies and Gentlemen, here are the nominees for the biggest failures of 2002 -2003:

"What To Think" When the Hell was the last time this was updated? Those "Thoughtless for the Day" things don't count. There mostly old Andy Rooney pieces with the F-word tossed in to make 'em look fresh.
"The 'books that'll fit sideways up Oprah's ass' club." I'll admit that this started out as a good idea - back when the books used to actually get reviewed. There are five books waiting to get reviewed. At the rate Mr. Anonymous reads, it might be 2010 before we know rather or not we should read Amy Fisher's autobiography.
"They Got It Right - An Attempt To Review The Greatest CDs Of All Time" In one year, only four CD's have been reviewed. I know it's not that often that a truly great CD appears, but c'mon. And while were on that subject, remember the "Let it Be" project? All three songs? Same with the covering of Worley's album - only two songs.
"Life with the Poor" I'm not going to complain about the lousy update record of this comic because it sucked to begin with. I'm glad that I don't have to see new ones. Same with the personals / ecards.
"Advanced Dungeons and Darryls" Where the Hell did that go? If you ask me, the threat of a lawsuit must've turned a certain web master into a nine-year-old girl.