Big Lies by Joe Conason

"Forty-two percent of all liberals are queer, that's a fact. The Wallace people did a poll."
- Peter Boyle in Joe

     How did the word "Liberal" become synonymous with "Fiscally irresponsible adulterous pussy-wimp"? That's the question at the heart of Joe Conason's new book, Big Lies. Conason wondered why so few Americans would label themselves as liberals (As few as 17% in some polls) when most Americans hold liberal values.
    "WTF? Most Americans hold liberal values?" you might ask. That's right. As Conason reminds us the 40 hour work week, Medicare, Social Security, clean air and water, and an end to racial discrimination are all liberal ideas and most Americans support them. If they didn't, I'd be writing this review on a plane to Denmark and ending it with the words "So long, fuckers".
    OK, so how did liberal become such an unpopular word? Well, as you all know, I blame the people with the paper mache puppets and the "Free Mumia" t-shirts and Michael Moore (who still thinks that OJ is innocent), but Conason believes that, shortly after Watergate, the American Right set out to spread certain untruths about the Left (It was about at this time when movies like Red Dawn and Top Gun reared their crappy heads). Conason picks the 10 biggest of these untruths (or "Lies" as they were known in Olde English) and debunks each in its own chapter. For example, in the open chapter entitled Limousine Liberals and Corporate Jet Conservatives he debunks the belief that "Tax-cutting Republicans are friends to the common man, while liberals are snobbish elitists who despise the work ethic" by pointing out although Bush wasted not time having his picture with the nine coal mines who were rescued in August of 2002, a few months earlier Bush had tried to slash the budget for the Mine Safety and Health Administration. I should point out, however, that I am, in fact, a liberal who is also a snob and that I do, indeed, despise the work ethic. But that's just me. Let's move on.
    The two most enjoyable/enraging chapters are Male Cheerleaders and Chicken Hawks, where Conason brings to light the less-than-spectacular military records of some of our country's leading Right-Wingers (George "Look at my flight suit" Bush was AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard from May of '72 to May of '73. Rush Limbaugh beat the draft thanks to a boil on his ass, Newt Gingrich - student deferment.) and Private Lives and Public Lies where Conason looks at the totally fucked up lives of some of America's "Family Values" crowd (Matt Glavin of the Right-Wing "Southeastern Legal Foundation and anti-gay rights crusader was arrested for exposing himself to a park ranger). Sadly, in this Chapter, Conason never mentions RATYHTL 2003-2004 It Girl, Jennifer Fitzgerald. Which is odd, since I learned about her from an article Joe Conason wrote about her in Spy magazine in the early Nineties?
    Now that I'm an old man, my only joy in life is taking the wind out of some asshole's sails. I do it all the time to Mumia supporters by bringing up a few facts about there hero and now I can do it right-wingers more easily than ever before. That's right, Big Lies is extremely useful for shutting up people who have no idea what the fuck they are talking about. It's all here, the patriot act, the insanr tax cut, the war on terroism. Next time some "Ditto Head" goes off about "Tax and Spend Liberals", whip out Big Lies and point out to them that the largest tax increase in American history was under…(drum roll, please)… Ronald Reagan. There is no way in Hell that I'm ever going to a wedding, family reunion, or riding public transportation again without having Big Lies under my arm.