The Corrections by Johnathan Franzen

    I'd just like to start off by saying that I really enjoyed The Corrections. I give it a B+. A really nice effort on Mr. Franzen's part. But what about the opinions of people who didn't like the book? Well, I went over to Amazon.com and randomly picked out three negative reviews. I've changed the reviewers' names, but left the reviews intact. Each review is followed by a brief comment from me.Remember, my goal here is not to chastise these people for having an opinion that differs from my own. My goal is, simply, to spark serious literary debate.

not for everyone, January 26, 2003
Reviewer: Desert_Tard from Salmiya Kuwait
If you're not american, this book won't mean much to you. this didn't stop me from reading the book, but I did not enjoy it.

    Oh, I see, you have to be an "american" (lower case) to enjoy the book and not a needle-dicked fuckwit from some jerkwater country that "america" had to pull out of the fire. Look, ass-monkey, if it weren't for the good ol' "usa", Saddam Hussein would be ass-raping your pets right now. Hey, I've got an idea; let's ask your mother what she thinks of the book. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I forgot that women aren't allowed to have opinions in Kuntwait. I hate you. What? You gonna cry now, pussy?
You have no right to review this book. Fuck you.

Woe be to the reader, January 20, 2003
Reviewer: Stoopid_cooze from Atlanta, GA
What an enormous disappointment. After all the hype and accolades, I have determined that I am just not "in tune" with what is good modern literature. Maybe I should say that good literature at least ought to draw me into the characters. Whether I personally like them or not I would hope there could be some empathy engendered, but there was none in this story. Every character in this book with the exception of Jonah (Gary's youngest son) was self-centered and boring.
If this is a reflection of the "modern family" may the fates help us all. Maybe in Franzen's world these people are the norm, but thankfully even with many of the odd characters I know, few have the diseased emotions and/or values of this family.
Granted it was well written and was an easy read, but I wanted to discover one decent,... character or at least one adult who "saw the light". Maybe Franzen's portrayal of Chip was supposed to endear the reader to him at the end, but it failed in my mind's eye.
Read something else.

    What an enormous disappointment you must be to your "ma" and "pa". Not "in tune" with what is good modern literature, or just another retarded southerner? I'll let the courts decide that one. You want empathy for the characters? Then you better steer clear of Flannery O'Connor and William Faulkner, you goddamn bible-belt dwelling piece of shit. And what's this bullshit about knowing "odd characters"? What would make someone odd in your tiny inbred world, pig-fucker? If they showed up late for a cross burning? I fucking hate you and will pray to God, on a daily basis, that you go blind. By the way, thanks for inviting me to "read something else". I look forward to reading your obituary (I am, of course, assuming that congenital syphilis is fatal).
You have no right to review this book. Fuck you.

Everyone in a 12 woman book club hated this book., December 15, 2002
Reviewer: Queen_of_the_bed-wetters from Fenton, MI United States
Our local women-only book club is entering its third year. For good or bad, most of the books we've read are Oprah books. Only one book brought about much hostility, The Corrections. In fact, I think only two people read the entire book; the others simply couldn't read the entire thing. Sure, there is great character development -- too bad we couldn't stand one single character. We discussed it over one year ago and it still comes up during each bi-monthly meeting. Usually, someone has come up with a new idea on what to do with the book -- fire starter, white elephant gift, etc.

    You make a valid point. Wait, did I say, "you make a valid point"? I'm sorry; I meant to say, "You blow Howler Monkeys down at the primate house, whore." Wow, your local Dyke-only finger smelling...er, I mean Book Club is entering its third year? How'd I miss that story on World News Tonight? "For good or bad, most of the books we've read are Oprah books." I'm going to go with "for bad". In fact, I'm gonna go with "for really fuckin' bad...bitch".
    "Usually, someone has come up with a new idea on what to do with the book -- fire starter, white elephant gift, etc." First, what kind of sentence is that? "Usually, someone has come up with a new idea on what to do..." What the fuck? Based on that sentence alone, I think it's fair to say that you have no right to review this book. Fuck you.
    PS.I don't want to come off as callous, but I hope that you and everyone in your shitty little Book Club gets cancer, goes blind, and bleeds out the ass.