Elizabeth Fiend

     This makes the beginning of what I like to call "The Bounce-Back" or "The '68 Comeback Special" or "Satan's School for Cheerleaders". From here on out, I've been happy with the radio pieces I've done. Yes, folks, this is the turning point. And it all started when my friend Elizabeth Fiend filmed a segment for The Food Channel's Roker on the Road, staring former fatty Al Roker. I later learned that Al had not actually filmed the segment with Elizabeth - an Al Roker stand-in had been used. Why are you afraid to come to Philly, Al? What are you trying to hide?

     Anyway, Elizabeth threw a big party for the premiere and that's mostly what you'll hear in this fairly short piece. What you won't hear (although I'm thinking about putting it up on the site) is a certain Philadelphia radio producer, with a few drinks in her, talking about her colonoscopy.

     Elizabeth's segment was the last of four, which means that we were forced to endure a piece about two soccer moms who would bring home-cooked meals to your dining room at the "economic" price of $300 a pop (At least that's how much I think it cost. It was hard to hear over the shouts of "whores!"), another piece about the "Cake Man" of Bourbon Street (I shit you not, this chucklehead had a vision in which he was instructed to sell chocolate cake on Bourbon Street. Mmmm. Mmm. I don't know about you, but there's nothing I enjoy more after a long night of drinking and haggling with prostitutes than chocolate cake. This guy must get punched 40 times a night.), and finally a segment on caviar (Which I couldn't hear over the shouts of "Fuck you, Roker").

     When Fat Albert finally got around to introducing the segment about Elizabeth he was extremely condescending to her. The only good thing was that he mentioned that she's a vegan and an anarchist. Which must've sent people in the mid-west scrambling for their dictionaries.

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