Thoughtless for the Day

Last time in "Hurdy Gurdy Tips",  I showed you how to punch a hippie square in his ugly bearded face and then swipe his hurdy gurdy while he lays helpless, weeping and curled up like a hacky sack ball. I think we all enjoyed that and learned a little about the fragile nature of the human skull in the process.

This time, acting on the advice of my lawyer, I'll show you a way to deal with the pesky problem of how to isolate the melody strings on your gurdy (odds are that you  have adjustable bridges for your drone strings. If not, you can pick them up here from the good folks at Hurdy Gurdy Crafters). I should also point that this is not an entirely original idea. As you can see below, L-shaped hooks have incorporated into many gurdies for the purpose of lifting, and therefore isolating, the melody strings.
My problem was that I couldn't find any L-shaped hooks which would work with Vienna (my gurdy). My solution was to use cup hooks (available at your local hardware store) instead. Judging from their size, there must be a great deal of tiny cups out there.


I installed the hooks on both sides of Vienna's keychest (those red eyes belong to my friend Jody) so that they rest above and to the left or right of melody strings.


This way, when I need to isolate a string (for tuning, for example), all I need to do is to lift the sting and place it in the hook.

I was in a hurry to get this done because my other band, 25 Cromwell Street, will be playing a benefit for Beth Ann Lejman (formerly of the legendary Philly punk/funk band The Stick Men) this Saturday, July 30th at Connie's Ric Rac.


Anyone found not to be in attendance will be forced to wear scratchy undergarments.

Related articles

• "Two Men Arrested In Joss Stone Murder Plot!" and related posts (backseatcuddler.com)
• The South Wind Doth Blow (growingyoungereachday.wordpress.com)
• Brighton: Anything goes at this liberal enclave (independent.co.uk)
• Song Intros - It's the start of something amazing (independent.co.uk)
• Friday Night PR Lights (themoderatevoice.com)

Posted by Rodney Anonymous at 11:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I picked a terrible time to focus on songwriting and neglect my duties here at RATYHTL, as the last two weeks have been packed solid with fascinating news: Pat Robertson blamed the Haitian earthquake on voodoo, whereas Danny Glover blamed it on Global Warming; James O'Keefe, the man behind the ACORN videos, was caught tampering with a Senator's phone, and a plane was forced to land at Philly International because the passengers had never seen a Jew before [OK, that's an oversimplification, but it looks good in print]. Oh, and there may or may not have been a cover-up of three murders at Gitmo.

But, for me at least, the most interesting piece of news to surface over the last few weeks was the arrest of one Charles Dyer for child rape and sodomy.

Dyer, a twenty-nine-year-old former Marine Sargent who lives in Oklahoma, had appeared in a number of videos on YouTube using the handle "July4Patriot": often openly referring to himself as a terrorist. Here's one Dyer's more interesting rants:

Dyer was also one of the founding members of a group called Oath keepers (Did they mean "oaf keepers"?) and spoke at several Tea Party events. As mentioned above, Dyer was arrested a couple of weeks ago for raping a seven-year-old girl. Which is twisted enough, but the icing on the obviously vanilla cake is that when the police raided Dyer's no doubt tastefully decorated home they found a 40-millimeter grenade launcher, which was apparently stolen from Fort Irwin, although Dyer claims it was "a gift from a friend" (and all I ever get are ties).

It was with Dyer's arrest that his Teabaggin' buddies shifted into high gear, reportedly threatening the Sheriff who arrested Dyer as well as anyone who reports on the story [Come and get me, you pansies!]

I will say one positive thing about Mr. (soon to be "Ms.", if those stories I've heard about what goes on in prison are true) Dyer; he vicariously managed to reacquaint me with a word I'd long forgotten. I was discussing the Dyer case with a friend who said, "You know what they out to do to that guy?", and - before my friend could offer up the punishment he had in mind - I blurted out a word I hand not used, or even thought about, for that matter, in many years: Rhaphanidosis!

Rhaphanidosis was the punishment in ancient Greece for adultery. Basically, it involved hammering a radish (which used to be ...um... larger and pointier than the ones we're used to seeing) up the accused adulterer's backside. It's where we get the sadly too seldom used verb raphanizein - meaning "to insert a radish into the fundament" - from. Come to think of it, the word fundament doesn't get used often enough either.

Related articles by Zemanta

• A Taste of Japan's Winter Radish Festival (theworld.org)
• Tea Party 'Hero' Arrested For Rape, Stolen Grenade Launcher Discovered (trueslant.com)

Posted by Rodney Anonymous at 8:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Monday, August 28th 2009 will forever be remembered as the day when torture took a back seat to George Hamilton and Miley Cyrus.

Posted by Rodney Anonymous at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)