Thoughtless for the Day

The Greatest Conspiracy of Our Time Revealed

The Bush Family is Responsible for
the Tsunami and I can prove it.

Time-Line of a Man-Made Disaster

1944: During WWII, George Herbert Walker Bush, a young American
pilot, is shot down over the Pacific. Bush manages to swim to a small
island where he uses the hemp ropes of his parachute to start a signal
fire. While inhaling the smoke from the fire, Bush has what he will later
describe as a "Freakin' awesome idea for a machine that would create giant
waves."

After being rescued and returning home, Bush discuses his "awesome idea"
with his father, Senator Prescott Bush, who begins to use his influence to
push through a "black project" known as "Operation Nu Wave".

1951: With the funding secured, the Pentagon begins construction of
a giant wave making machine in a secret location off the coast of Borneo.
CIA operatives, at the request of Prescott Bush, "deal with the problem."

1961: 23-year-old Michael Rockefeller, partaking in Anthropological
research off the coast of Borneo begins asking questions about a "giant
machine" that he has seen.

1963: Michael Douglas, a 17-year-old high school student, enters an
essay titled Why I want to be a Seismologist to a writing contest
hosted by a local Houston newspaper. In the essay, Douglas expresses his
desire to "someday help warn people about earthquakes and tidal waves."

Douglas wins the contest and the essay is printed in the paper where it is
read by George H. W. Bush. Fearing that young Douglas' ambition might
someday endanger the success of "Operation Nu Wave", Bush recruits Laura
Welch to befriend and "dispose of" Michael Douglas. Ms. Welch performs her
duties with such precision that a greatly impressed Bush arranges for her
to later be married to his eldest son, Gorge W.

1971: George W. Bush is smuggled out of his National Guard post buy
CIA agents and taken to Borneo where he is taught the inner-workings of
"Operation Nu Wave" and given a cover story (Bush is trained to act like a
"dumb-shit Frat boy") to use upon his return to America a year later.

1976: George H.W. Bush is rewarded for his work on "Operation Nu
Wave" by being appointed head of the CIA, ironically at the insistence of
then Vice President Nelson Rockefeller.

1977: The "Nu Wave" craze begins to sweep America. CIA Director
Bush, fearing intelligence leak, signs Secret Order No. 2157: authorizing
the tapping of Adam Ant's phone.

President Jimmy Carter, who has, oddly, never been briefed about on
"Operation Nu Wave" discovers Secret Order No. 2157 and fires Bush who
avowals revenge.

1980: After nearly two dozen attempts to explain "Operation Nu Wave"
to Presidential Candidate Ronald Reagan, Pentagon Officials come to the
conclusion that "the senile old fart just doesn't get it." An agreement is
struck that George H. W. Bush (who has just returned from an
arms-for-hostages swap meeting in Paris) will serve as Reagan's Vice
President.

1981: Jeb Bush is sent to Florida to study tidal activity. George W.
is sent to Texas to study hurricanes.

1985: Neil Bush secretly diverts nearly $1 billion in cash and
hookers form the Silverado Savings and Loan into "Operation Nu Wave".

1998: Jeb and George W. Bush become the first siblings to
simultaneously govern two states since Nelson and Winthrop
Rockefeller.

1999: Gorge Bush's daughters, Jenna and Barbara, begin investigation
fluidics by studying the movement of beer in a frosty mug.

December 5th, 2004: George W. Bush signs Executive Order Numbe
r 60007 which in part states that "should there ever be a tsunami in the
South Pacific late in my second term, then I get to stay President."

December 5th, 2004: Marvin Bush (the "Fredo" of the Bush Family)
accidentally triggers the tsunami machine by pressing a large red button
labeled "Do Not Push".


The ancient Greek word of the day is:
dinh - whirlpool
present; be near

If the above word looks like ippojshit to you,
then you need to go here
and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC. Dude.


The Latin word of the day is:
volebant - they wanted





Rodney on 01.12.05 @ 02:52 PM EST [link] [No Comments]

Point. Counter Point.

OK, here's my reply to Mr. Townley (Posted here because his site doesn't
allow for long comments). After this, I'm moving on and, in the words of
Bill O'Reilly, "I will never speak of it again."


Dear Mr. Townley,

First, let me just say what an honor it was to be featured on your site as
I feel that anything that leads to greater dialog between conflicting
points of view is a step in the right direction.

Unfortunately, I have been suffering from a terrible sinus infection so
I was only able to quickly peruse the piece when it was originally posted
on Sunday. Now that I'm feeling better and have gotten a chance to study
what you've written there are a few comments I'd like to make.

Yes, I am a proud Marxist. As I'm sure are many devotees of the Philosopher
Hegel. I am also a proud Capitalist (God, I love money), a proud Socialist
(Utopian not Scientific), and a proud Communist (I'm sure that in your
lifetime you must've purchased a product or service produced by a
corporation which was owned and operated by its employees. Of course you
have. In which case, you've supported Communism).

I believe that all of these economic systems have their valid points as
well as their drawbacks. As someone who's surly read Das Kapitol (how
could you feel justified in discussing Marx if you haven't?), I'm certain
you've meant with the annoyance of trying to discuss Marx (who had many
good things to say about America) with someone who instantly starts
talking about Stalin. As I'm sure you're well aware, Stalin was about as
much of a Marxist as Tim McVeigh was a Christian.

I'm not sure which economic system Jesus would align himself with but,
seeing what Capitalism has done to Christmas, I know which one I wouldn't
bet on.

But I digress…

As I am a proud Marxist/Capitalist/Socialist/Communist, I am also a proud
Atheist/Christian /Jew/Hindu/Buddhist/Pagan/Hoochy Koochy Man. Theology,
in my opinion, should be viewed as a buffet. Although I must confess that
most religions would be more palatable to me if they'd boil their dogma
down to "Love each other". That would save a lot of time that has
previously been wasted burning heretics.

Speaking of buffets, I'm sorry if I poked fun at your size. That was
incredibly wrong of me and something that I will always regret doing. Just
so you know: I'm rather chunky and very bald. I'm sure that you cut a much
more dashing figure than I do (although I do have a sort of "animal
magnetism" that far to complex to explain here. Please see the twelve
volume autobiography of Casanova for further details).

I was just using your size to show how ridicules it is not to allow two
people who are in love (and over 18 and not related by blood [don't you
find it odd that many of the same states that are opposed to same-sex
marriage are more than happy to let first cousins marry]) to marry just
because they happen to be of the same sex. By the way, it seems to me
that if you're really interested in preserving marriage, you should push
for a constitutional ban on divorce. Oh, and since the Bible defines
marriage as the union between a man and ONE OR MORE WOMEN the amendment
may require some small tinkering to bring it perfectly in-line with the
Good Book.

Which brings me to your comment about being against "special rights" for
Homosexuals:

I'm not quite sure how asking for the same rights as everybody else can
be equated with "special privileges". If you could explain this to both
me and your readers I would be forever grateful.

Also, I never claimed that you were an "old southerner who's proud that
they fought to keep Blacks out of their schools." I was just pointing out
how conservative positions (from "the Sun goes around the Earth" to "You
Blacks might be more comfortable in the back of the bus") tend to not to
sand up to the test of time.

Now, as to the Oliver North interview:

Paul informed me that Oliver North would be calling in and asked me if I'd
like to call in and ask him a question. Paul had no knowledge as to what I
was going to ask Mr. North. Honestly, just to get that question out in the
open, I would've adopted a Mexican accent and called in as "Carlos".

I'm not sure how Mr. North, as you claim answered my questions and "put up
a great defense from a hair-brained conspiracy theorist", when Mr. North
never spoke about Costa Rica - only Nicaragua. Next time you ask your
Minister about Jesus and he lectures you on the teachings of the late
Benny Hill, I suggest that you compliment him on how deftly he answered
your question.

This may not be my place, but I'm not sure that a conservative Christian
like you should be praising Mr. North who - IN HIS OWN HAND WRITING -
admitted to financing arms with the sale of drugs.

Speaking of out of place, I can't help but feel that you stepped out of
bounds when you mentioned my late friend whom I loved like a brother. True,
I went after you first but I didn't dig into your past for anything that
may explain your beliefs.

This said, I still wish you the best of luck and feel that we may yet
find common ground.

PS. Writing "He's just got a God shaped whole in His [thanks for deifying
me] heart" just before "poor grammar" was brilliant. I plan on stealing that.

Rodney on 01.11.05 @ 08:24 AM EST [link] [30 Comments]

A Low Down Dirty Shame

_ . _

Before we do anything else, Randy Townley has responded to Friday's post!

_ . _

Roll call of SHAME. When you hear your name maggot name called you
will sound off like you've got a pair even though you obviously
don't, otherwise your name wouldn't be on this list. Do I make myself
clear, maggot?

SHAME on the maggot makers of American Girl dolls calling
their dolls American Girl. These maggots have their creepy dolls
made in China. Got a few minutes to kill? Why not send the folks
at American Girl an email and let them know how you feel about them
exporting the jobs of non-doll Americans to China where the average worker
makes 30 cents an hour. Or you could just sit there on your ass, maggot!

SHAME on the boot-licking maggots at L.L. Beam. Of all the shitty
clothes in the latest slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit L.L. Bean
catalog, 92% were made outside of the USA. I know that the maggots
at L.L. Bean would love to hear from you. Why not email them? Do it! Move.
Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of
the world.

By the way, of all the textiles currently in the USA, 96% are made
outside this great land of ours. Do you maggots understand that?

SHAME on Wal-Mart: the kinda corporation that would fuck a person in
the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a
reach-around. The maggots at Wal-Mart have told their suppliers that if
they can't compete with low prices offered by foreign factories then
they'll just have to shut their plants down,

Whatever you do, do not click here and tell the folks at Wal-Mart
that you would like them to open a new story in Compton, Harlem, The
Bermuda Triangle, or Michelle Malkin's nether regions!

Damn, trying to write the way R. Lee Ermey talks is exhausting. Still, I
will motivate you people if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo.
You people…er, maggots, whatever have congressmen and senators (I even have
a "special" senator), don't you? Instead of reading this crap you should be
emailing them to insist that they introduce legislation that cuts off
government contracts and tax breaks to companies who send jobs overseas
(AKA unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Sorry, just wanted
to sneak one more in).

There's still plenty of SHAME to go around…

SHAME on the Bush "administration" for paying commentator and Uncle
Tom-ing Muthafugga Armstrong Williams $240,000 of taxpayers' money to pitch
the No Child Left Behind Act to minority groups (which unfortunately didn't
include the Crips or Bloods).

The nearly quarter million dollar contract gave Education Secretary and
flaming asshole Rod Paige and other department officials the right to
appear from "time to time" (yes, the contract actually says "time to time"
instead of "periodically" or, as suggested by President Bush, "CPT") as
guests on Williams' programs.

I can't believe that no one noticed that Williams' interview with Paige
was a fake. After all, the first question any real journalist would
as Rod Paige would be "How many hits of acid did it take to male you call
the NEA 'terrorist organization'?"

And last but only least in the hearts and minds of thinking people…

SHAME On George "I try not to let Laura drive" Bush for announcing
yesterday that he is calling for an increase in government grants to
"faith-based" service agencies (AKA Christian groups. Thus far, no
Jewish or Muslim group that has applied for a "faith-based" grant has
gotten approval. )

Here's some of your "faith-based" money at work in the battleground state
of Ohio:

The Pregnancy Decision Health Center (providers of fine-quality Web links
to anti-abortion groups) received $1.5 million over three years to teach
abstinence to 10,000 students in middle and high schools.

Elizabeth's New Life Center got $667,004 to help it expand a program to
teach teens the benefits of abstaining from sex. I'm sensing a pattern
here.

Bellefaire, which was originally founded to find shelter for Jewish Civil
Wars orphans (Stay tuned for Johnny Rebouski: Confederate Rabbi - tonight
on FOX) picked up $702,362 to search the hills and hollows of rural Ohio
for adoptive parents for the states 3,000 foster children. Please note
that most parents and children are non-Jewish.

The only way for this bullshit to come to a screeching halt is for some
group that conservatives don't like to get a "faith-based" grant. As usual,
the job of kicking ass and taking names falls to me…and the Church of
Satan.

To: HPNadramia@churchofsatan.com

From: Rodney Anonymous

Subject: "Faith-based" grants

Dear Church of Satan,

As I'm sure you already know, George W. Bush recently called an increase in
government grants to "faith-based" service agencies. So far, all of the
groups which have received money have been Christian organizations, and
many of these organizations haven't had very nice things to say about your
Church in the past.

That's why I'd like to suggest that the Church of Satan apply for a
"faith-based" grant. I don't know what services you offer (Although a good
friend of mine claims to have gotten married to two other people at once
in your Church) but I sure they have to be better than teaching abstinence
to 10,000 horny students in Ohio (a group called The Pregnancy Decision
Health Center got 1.5 Million for that scam).

If the government approves your request then you get to do what thou wilt
with the cash and everybody's happy - except Christian groups who will
suddenly find themselves opposed to "faith-based" funding. If the
government denies your request then you just sue the crap out of 'em.
Either way, "faith-based" grants will be over, you'll walk away with a wad
of cash, and all of those Christians who bad-mouthed you will be forced to
return to going door-to-door to fund "Premarital Sex Causes Blindness '05".

I'm hoping that you'll seriously consider this proposal and I wish your
Church the best of luck,

Rodney Anonymous



_ . _

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
badizw - walk, go

If the above word looks like ippojshit to you,
then you need to go here
and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC. Dude.


The Latin word of the day is:
suffragium - vote




Rodney on 01.09.05 @ 12:50 PM EST [link] [19 Comments]