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12/14/2005: "Prease Fuck My Yellow Vagina: The Book"
"This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with
great force."
- Dorthy Parker
In case you haven't heard, RATYHTL's Official Dragon Lady, Michelle
Malkin, has written another book: and it's in English (instead of that
that crazy language that those people speak; you know, the one
that sounds like cats fighting in a metal garbage can)! Whoa, now before
you folks at the Pulitzer Foundation put that call in to the engraver,
you might want to know that when I say that Malkin has "written" a book,
what I'm really saying is that the Angry Asian collected a bunch of news
clippings about Hippies stealing Bush '04 (the only President in US
history to openly advertise his IQ) signs from Babbitts' lawns, and
copied and pasted nearly every ethnic slur that been posted about
her on the internet (No, I haven't had time to thumb through the
book to see if PFMYV is in there, but it better be!) into one handy,
unintentionally funny, tome.
In other words: we basically wrote her book for her.
[Insert preachy rant about the irony of Malkin, who penned a book
defending the interment of Japanese-Americans during WWI, calling the
Left racist and as for progressives being violent, well "before you
inoculate the village, make sure you've cured the fever * at home" here]
While it's a crying shame that someone else beat Malkin to writing that
book about the relationship between John Paul-Sartre and Simone de
Beauvoir, forcing the Insolent Indonesian to grind out some crap in order
to meet a contractual obligation, the real winner here is the English (or
"Engrish") language; which will benefit for centuries to come from the new
and cleaver uses of vulgarity which Malkin painstakingly documents in the
minutest detail. Here are some of the choicer insults (which may or may
not actually appear in the book) hurled at the Obnoxious Oriental (yes,
I know the difference between an Oriental and an Asian: I'm just running
out of alliterations):
suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch.
I mean, she's gotta have SOME kind of purposeful earthly use walking around
on this planet, because she certainly doesn't have one that has anything to
do with her intellect or her political views.
_._
Why exactly does this large toothed educated female wog believe that she
will be treated as white when God chose to make her yellow?
Even her political allies see her as nothing more than a trained monkey
coached into saying a few simple racial truths that would be politically
damaging if put into the mouths of a white man?
Her hatred for her fellow wogs comes from an inability to accept that God
did not make her a European and that God chose to make her a woman.
Please, beat her severely and set her to work in a brothel somewhere in
Malaysia that services Islamic terrorists.
_._
Maybe Malkin will rename her site "The Wog Blog"? Then again, maybe not.
And now my personal favorite…
Do you think Malkin's breezer runs horizontally instead of vertically?
Any opinions on the subject?
_._
Huh, huh, "breezer". So, are the comments above both childish and
offensive? Maybe. Are they as childish and offensive as opposing McCain's
proposed bill to forbid the use of torture by the United States
government? Eh, maybe not.
Anyhoo, Dave Neiwert has bravely ploughed his way through Michelle's boggy
literary rice paddy; you can find his review here. Reason's Cathy Young
then reviewed Dave's review. I'll be reviewing Cathy's review of Dave's
review at some future date when I completely lose my fuckin' mind. By the
way, I have to disagree with the folks at reason who think that Malkin
"like Ann Coulter, is only kidding, while counting on her fans and
anti-fans to miss the joke." Sure, sure they are; and next week George
Bush is going to show up on TV with a brilliant, workable plan for the
future of Iraq and say "You see, in order for this to come together, I had
to pretend to be an idiot for all those years."
As for Malkin's book: I think I'll wait for the movie. Speaking of movies,
that's what we'll be talking about tomorrow.
* "Which, in Malkin's case, would be the yellow fever."
- Vienna Anonymous
