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12/08/2005: "Bliss Begets Befuddlement"

Hey there, hooded assassins, blind flower girls, and rabid golden
retrievers. I'm taking today off to celebrate our victory, yesterday, over
the dark forces of Christmas (I'm also dealing with some post-war cleanup:
The Salvation Army is still holding my friend Doc, whom they captured
outside of a Target store, as a POW.). I'll be back this weekend with a
lengthy piece that has nothing to do with Christmas, very little to do
with Fundies, a little bit to do with a fellow named Steve Jackson, and a
whole lot to do with seeing stars.

If you need something to occupy your time, you could either enjoy this clip
(WMP - Sorry QuickTime users), courtesy of crooksandliar.com in which Bill
O'Reilly makes the tragic mistake of taking on Jon Stewart, or you could
discuss the following: "

Question: If, as Condi has been telling Europe, US agents and agents
working for the US are forbidden in engaging in torture, both at home and
abroad, why is Bush opposed to a bill banning torture and what was the deal
with those mash notes passed between him and Gonzales?

Is the answer

A) This represents a dramatic shift away from the former US policy
towards terrorism suspects: "If he's Brown, beat him down. If he's Yellow,
Gitmo's where he'll sit and mellow."

B) Them thar Europeans drink wine with every meal (including
breakfast) + Condi was become a lightweight in the booze department ever
since Bush started raiding her mini-bar + a few State dinners in a row =
a drunken Condi, desperate for anyone's approval, slurring out exactly
what she thinks her audience wants to hear.

C) There is no torture. There never was any torture. Everything is
going great. Hey, look over there; it's an adorable puppy!

D) Under the US's New & Improved definition of torture, that
which doesn't kill you doesn't count.

Replies: 4 Comments

on Thursday, December 8th, Doc said

Actually I was being held in the basement of a cigar store in mid-town Toronto; they tried to release me, but you get me near cuban cigars...

on Friday, December 9th, razlerja said

I'm going with 'B'. It might not be true, but if it is, then maybe I've got a shot with her.

on Friday, December 9th, MrStinky said

I've always wanted to have the opportunity to shake Bush's hand but then pull away at the last moment to tell him that I didn't want to get any of that blood on my hands.
Condi said that there will be mistakes made with every policy. Is it a mistake if it is knowingly done?

on Friday, December 9th, MrStinky said

Is there a definition of torture in the current law that Condi talks about? And, I'm sure there is a law against torture, but a provision in place for certain special circumstances. I mean, if torture was completely outlawed, then Bush couldn't speak in public, as his voice and use of the English language is complete torture for all who listen.