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03/31/2005: "Support Our troops: Burn These Books"
On yesterday's Paul Kircher Show, Paul and I spoke with the founder of the
Minuteman Project. You can listen to the entire show (including the part
about spit and Vaseline) here.
I was looking over some old internet rumors/urban legends/general inbox
crap at snopes.com the other day for a magazine article I'm working on
when I gradually noticed that nearly all of these rumors/legends/crap were
the sort of things that would appeal to Right Wingers. That's when I began
to wonder if there was some way to use the highly credulous nature of the
North American Babbitt for our own sick and twisted amusement. Here's what
I came up with:
Step one: Set up a free email account with a user name like "americafirst",
or "godgunsandglory", or "usabiblelover".
Step Two: Gather up the email addresses of as many Right Wing organizations
and individuals as humanly possible: You may want to start with Concerned
Woman for America, Bill O'Reilly, and Michelle Malkin (speaking of the
Fascist Filipino, the trackback links on her website are an excellent
resource for finding Fundies who will believe anything).
Step Three: Send these simple folk the following email (or a variation
thereof: you can probably do much better. To be honest, this is sort of a
Support Our Troops: Burn the Following Books
Dear Concerned American:
As I'm sure that you are well aware, there is a faction loose within the
borders of our great land intent lowering the morale of our troops both
abroad and here at home by daring to question The War on Terror. While we
have had a great success in silencing many of these so-called "voices of
dissent" on television, the radio, and in the cinema; there is one arena
in which - until now - these traitorous thoughts have been allowed to
fester: the printed page.
That's why we are calling upon all patriotic Americans to organize
community bonfires in which the following books will be removed from public
libraries and private homes then burned:
Catch 22, Heart of Darkness, All Quiet on the Western Front, A People's
History of the United States, The Naked and the Dead, The Butter Battle
Book, Slaughterhouse Five, and The Iliad.
Charles "Chuck" U. Farley
Americans United Against Unpatriotic Books
Step Four (optional. RATYHTL is not responsible if your local fire
department has no sense of irony. In other words: Don't come crying to me
when they haul your sorry as of to Guantanamo Bay.):
Create and hang a few "Support Our Troops Community Book Burning" posters
around your town. Be sure to take pics and email to me for extra credit.
_ . _
Real questions and answers
from the Ayatollah's official website
Is the sweat of sexual intercourse najis? Answer:
It is clean.[Speak for yourself, Sistani - Ayatollah Anonymous]
_ . _
_ . _
_ . _
She ruled in Busty Pom Pom Girls, Boobtown Brats,
Harlots from Hooterville, and What About Boob?
He ruled in Shallow Grave and then went on to embarrass himself in
three crappy Star Wars sequels
Happy birthday to ...
Brittany O'Neil who turns 34 today.
As does Ewan McGregor.
The ancient Greek word of the day is:
mhlon - apple
If the above word looks like ippojshit to you,
then you need to go here
and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC. Dude.The Latin word of the day is:
tenere - to hold
Replies: 17 Comments
on Thursday, March 31st, Doc said
Uhhh,I gotta few books I wanna add to your list.I'm just afraid that Al Gore,Al Franken and Lush Limbaughs'crap might cause excessive air pollution.It's nice see an old European tradition(The Inquistion and the Nazis...) makin' a comeback.
on Thursday, March 31st, Mykel Armory said
they shood take your site here in to the street and burn it to. you are happy now that you killed terri shivo? she is dead and you can talk about makingf fun of our brave troops fighting in iraqi. you makung fun of god and the people who beleive in him, and you push fun at msulims with your ayatola says game on your site. i have not seen a man wil less souls than yours. there is racist, hating of god, jokes of hell, starve terri shivo, the cussing is always there, and making fun of the jewish boy who wrote you a letter, that is when there is a problem. when you find your self in a time of need ogd will not hear your please. He wikl turn the cheek to you! Pleas re think of what your are do here? it makes earth a sadder place.
on Thursday, March 31st, billzebub said
You know what I don't get about all this hand-wringing and boo-hooing over Terri Schiavo is, if this is all about the santity of life, where were you Jesus freaks when W launched an unjust war that has so far cost over 100,000 lives? Where were you when W refused to pardon retards who were being sent to the chair?
You voted for W and he has caused more deaths than Michael Schiavo, so kindly shut the fuck up.
on Thursday, March 31st, Scott said
I'm posting one of those posters at Panera Bread. Panera is a bakery/cafe that I used to work at. Most of the assholes who eat there are Right Wingers/Jesus freaks/yuppies. I really wish I could put my phone number on the poster so I could hear some of the assholes call to find out more details but that would be very dumb. Maybe I'll put my friend's cell number on the poster, he won't know what the hell is going on and I'll get to hear about it second hand.
on Thursday, March 31st, K'vitsh said
The link to Paul's show doesn't work.
on Friday, April 1st, Mykel Armory said
for one billseebub, you are named after tatan! for two! You are telling me about voted for bush well you are wong! i did not fote for bush! I voted for raph nader! i always for nadr! you are making a gess that is wrong! id id not send people to no chair! reatrded never! Never sent htem to the chair! i am the death sentednce is wrong! the war? i dont even know what you mean about any war. you talk about the war like you know but you do not! i was telling about no war but terri shivo! rodney anymous was trying to kill her and she starved to death and you are happy about her death! that is sick
You need hto have hearts! there is no hearts here and no hocky is not why you are going to be into hell! hocky is not a sin! in the sin was the killing of terri shivo! remember the god says that life is to be taken serious! it makes me sick as an americna that you are to sit there and kill people with no food and druink! you shold be a shame of your self! and you can kill a women who you can't spell her name even right! shifo! give her dignite! stop being a heartless man! have some hearts, and billzebub, you must change your name froma stan worshippur to a real name. if your name is bill then call your self bill! no satan! i dont see how this site is alowed to publish. i will gard your soul!
on Friday, April 1st, Fathjer Bingo said
You need a whole lot of Right Winger's emails? Terri's parents might be able to help.
on Friday, April 1st, Nigel Tailwind said
Hockey is a sin. I played until I was thirty and one year I lead my team in penalty minutes.
Thou shalt not spear.
Thou shalt not kick.
Thou shalt not board.
Thou shalt not leave the bench to join a fight (mortal sin, go straight to hell)
Thou shalt not elbow
Thou shalt not slash
Thou shalt not trip (did five hits of two day old blotter one day! wooooweee)
on Friday, April 1st, razlerja said
I am happy about Terri's death. Her accident was a shame, even if she brought it on herself; a kind of suicide really. But, after lingering 15+ years in that state, it was time to let her go. Her legal guardian made a difficult decision. Everyone else should mind their own damn business. If my body were ever in such a state I hope someone would make such a decision for me. And, I might add, I would be highly honored if Mr. Anonymous would make fun of 'ogd' in my name on that day!
on Friday, April 1st, billzebub said
OK, whoever is playing the part of Mykal had me going. I even got riled up. Kudos to you.
on Friday, April 1st, razlerja said
It is April Fool's Day, after all. But the 'ogd' was a little over the top, I think.
on Friday, April 1st, keyblur said
Mykal (if that is your real name, Satan) two words "Spell Check"
on Saturday, April 2nd, online casino roulette said
Some 1800 people have registered for online roulette from casino spielbank wiesbaden since the service opened in july, heise online reports
on Saturday, April 2nd, Mykel Armory said
keyblue, you know that you are wrong! A spell check on you! you can not even spell my own name well and I am here in front of you spelling it the righte way! mykel. mykel....not no mikal! pleas yet your things correct!
on Tuesday, April 5th, sarah l said
terri shivo that poor women. with her misery ending ours is just begining adult abortion has been defended by the courts of these united states. this is just the beging of the hideous atrocities that are to come terri was a silent prophet.
on Tuesday, April 5th, justice said
this is to terri shivo's husband the SOCK MAN! you vile nasty man you have made me sick by watching the demands you put on terri and her family, how dare you not let your wife be able to have her teeth brushed or be able to have food and water. you sick pig! i hope your death is worse then anything any of us can imagine. you need to get on your knees and pray that god doesn't throw your stinken ass in the pit of hell! i wont forget you!
on Tuesday, April 5th, heavenly messenger said
MR. SHIVO your stinken ass is going to hell and you will be confined to your bed of nails in the sweltering pit and you will hear nashing of teeth and screams and you will be offering every last penny you have for a drop of water and you will drull and rot and be crippled satan will be kicking you in your big pumpkin head laughing and your sorrows have a good time suffering for eternity tough guy!