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03/28/2005: "A Clean Slate Sweeps New"

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One: Invisible airwaves crackle with life

News wrap up (Did Tom DeLay pull the plug on his father?), Suing for peace
(featuring a confession about my relationship with Muammar Qaddafi), and
Franklin (No, not the Black kid from Peanuts) turns 300. Yes, it's another
killer episode of the Paul Kircher Show.

Two: A fresh start

Warning: This section contains some boring technical talk.

As many of you already know, the RATYHTL Forum (Athens) was attacked by
not-very-competent Turkish hackers (Shit Luther, if these guys are the most
technically capable people in Turkey, I'm surprised that Billy didn't just
walk outta that prison sooner in Midnight Express) on Sunday.

Had they only hit this web site, I would've been looking at about a 45
minutes (max) worth of work. Unfortunately, they also hit the sites of
several of my friends; so I spent a good chunk of yesterday afternoon
emailing advice on how to restore files and DB (and how to prevent this
sort of thing from happening again) around.

Here's the good news: It doesn't appear that the young Turks managed to get
into the DB that powers Athens (I took several security measures to make
sure they won't be able to gain access in the future. Like I said, these
jokers weren't very good.) I backed up and exported the DB; so all of that
crap that we've posted over the years is safe (I'm sure that generations
yet to come will greatly benefit from our heated debates over just who is
sexier: Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Mrs. Beasley from
Family Affair.)

Here's the gooder news (to use the vernacular of the people who have been
sending me hate mail lately): Even though I have all over your posts and
user information, I do not plan on restoring them. There are three
reasons why I'm not going to put Athens back exactly as it was. The first
is that, even though I feel certain that the cretins who hit this site
didn't get a peak at the DB: I can't be 100% sure of that. That last thing
that I want to do is to restore all of your user info (which, as
you know, includes your email address and profile info) just to have
someone get their goat-befouled hands on it.

The second reason why I don't want to restore Athens as it was is because,
in order to do so in the most secure manner, I would have to spend months
looking over each saved post to make sure that the hackers didn't slip some
nasty bit of code into them.

And the final reason that I why you won't be seeing the old Athens anytime
soon (if ever) is that I think the Turkish hackers did me a huge favor by
forcing me to rethink the Forum. The old Athens had become cluttered and
somewhat cumbersome. Providence, in the form of a few barley computer
literate hackers, has given us a chance to start over from scratch; and I,
for one, say we should go for it! The slate is once again clean and ready
to be covered with fresh graffiti.

Here's teh bestest news EVAR: The new and improved Athens should be up
either tonight or before tomorrow afternoon (which, I guess, would also
include tonight).

Three: Hockey in Hell
Thanks to the debate between Paul and myself over Terri Schiavo, on his
show last week, I've been getting some very interesting emails: the gist
of which seems to be that I am going to Hell. And this is supposed to
surprise me? Of course I'm going to Hell: I'm a hockey fan. And Hell is the
perfect place for fans of "The sport of Kings…the LA Kings, that is." In
Hell, at least three nights a week, the Phantoms play the Hershey Bears. In
fact, Hell is one giant Hockey rink: and has been so ever since it froze
over during Bush 43's first inauguration.

askas (22k image)Real questions and answers
from the Ayatollah's official website

Today's Question

My aunt had received a house from her mother, brothers and sisters by
mutual consent from their inheritances. Now my aunt has expired leaving
behind only one married daughter (F) a widowed daughter-in-law (L) of her
dead son (M) and two grandsons (A) and (H) from her dead son (M). What
are their respective inheritances?

Answer: The daughter inherits all that left.

[Two Muslims leave Chicago at 8am. If they travel in opposite
directions, going 55mph and 73mph, respectively, when will they reach
Mecca? Use examples and show your work - Ayatollah Anonymous]

_ . _

gonzale5 (19k image)

She the star of Young Dumb & Full of Cum 4, Watcher 9,
(credited as "Bisexual Blonde Woman On Couch")Hand Job Hunnies 2,
Foot Lovers Only 4, and Dead Men Don't Wear Rubbers,

She can be seen at least nine times each month on TBS Lost Boys

Happy birthday to ...

April Flowers who turns 27 today.

And Dianne Wiest who turns 57.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
iereuj - priest

If the above word looks like ippojshit to you,
then you need to go here
and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC. Dude.

The Latin word of the day is:
tacete! - Be Quiet !

Replies: 13 Comments

on Monday, March 28th, K'vitsh said

You should post some of the choicer of your hate mails.

I for one would be rivited.

on Monday, March 28th, Doc said

The only good thing about the NHL strike is all the money I've saved on tickets and betting....Can you track from where some of these bozos live that send ya hate-mail. Make ya a bet that the come from towns where there is an AA hockey league or lower or none...

on Tuesday, March 29th, Jackalope said

I, for one, am glad Athens has been wiped clean. Just before it went down I made a confession about my relationship with Michael Jackson and Liz Taylor that may have been incriminating.

Whew, thanks Turkish hackers!

on Tuesday, March 29th, Nigel Tailwind said

Now my view of the afterlife has been thoroughly complexed. Is hell the standard NHL 200'x 85' rink or the European 200'x 100' rink?
Rod please you ask the ayatollah for me?

on Tuesday, March 29th, Andrew said

1) I agree post some of your hate mail.

2) Hockey three times a day sounds like heaven. I miss hockey. AHL has left Louisville and took a little piece of me with it.

on Tuesday, March 29th, razlerja said

Well, I'd say that one thing about the site being wiped clean is that my brilliantly (at least according to me) written 'hockey is the refuge of the culturally-challanged' rants are gone. I could write them again...but Teri is vampirically sucking my energy to stay alive just a little longer.

on Tuesday, March 29th, sully said

If you can make Athens gooder, that would be, um, gooder.

So what's all this with Turkish hackers exactly? What did they do? I've been away for a few days.

on Tuesday, March 29th, Mykel Armory said

i work for a game and toy maker and i have to say that the hackers from turkey was carma for what you sayd about terry shivo! you shoold say i am sorry. your other people here on site hsold say i ma sorry to. there is no good in be ing wrong. learn it and live it. it is not to late to go not to hell.

on Tuesday, March 29th, billzebub said

My mommy and daddy are cousins and I love Terri Shiavo and hate Rodney Anonymous.

Oh, and I am love to be suck all the time!

on Tuesday, March 29th, Joff said

I agree with Mykel from Milton Bradley.

I ma sorry to.

on Wednesday, March 30th, Grundy Sherwood said

Dear Mykel,

Ok, you are sorry. You are also a loser, and your English sucks. Is there any other way you would like me to insult you, or will that suffice?

Warmest Regards,

P.S.: God hates you.

on Wednesday, March 30th, SlowMotionRiot said

Ahh...Surfin' Cow. Nice.

on Wednesday, March 30th, caffiene23 said

what beef to turkish hackers have with Rodney?

I love hockey, I played one year in high school and several years of pavement style. It's been my favorite sport since I was like three.

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Ronald Reagan in Hell
The Paul Kircher Show
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March 2005

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