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03/21/2005: "As I walk this land of broken dreams"

bshort1 (20k image)Yeah, I know; sometimes it seems like I'm just makin' this shit up, but I
swear by Hubbard and three other Elder Gods that if you surf over to and endure a commercial, you'll find a story about IMAX theaters
in the Red States that are refusing to show films which mention Evolution.
One again, it's time to gird your loins:

In most Southern states, theater officials found recent test screenings
of several of these films triggered accusations from viewers that the films
were blasphemous. Carol Murray, marketing director of the Fort Worth Museum
of Science and History in Texas, said audience members who had watched
"Volcanoes" had commented, "I really hate it when the theory of evolution
is presented as fact" or "I don't agree with their presentation of human
existence." As a result, the science museum has decided not to screen the
film. "If it is not going to draw a crowd and it is going to create
controversy, from a marketing point of view, I cannot make a
recommendation," Murray told the New York Times Saturday.

To be honest, I wasn't really all that surprised that a bunch of ignorant,
inbred book-burners would rally together to keep the dreaded specter of
knowledge out of their gated communities and trailer parks. At this point,
there's nothing these idiots could do that would cause me to so much as
raise an eyebrow. If, tomorrow, some school district in Oklahoma were to
announce that they were going to replace History classes with witch burning
and Geometry with swastika painting, I'd most likely yawn and say "Saw that

If these dumbasses have decided that they want their kids to be stupid,
then more power to 'em. I'm tired of trying to save the education of the
children of the terminally moronic. Screw 'em. If this means that someday
I have to get my gas pumped by a guy who thinks that the Earth is 1,200
years old, I can deal with that. Yes, I know that ignorant idiots tend to
vote for other ignorant idiots, but so do the enlightened idiots. There
are plenty of educated idiots who understand Evolution and will vote for
Hillary Clinton in 2008. I'm screwed no matter what I do, so I might as
well just sit back and try to be amused.

What did surprise me is that there are IMAX theaters in the Red States. It
seems to me that the sort of walking amoebas who consider Evolution to be
"just a theory" would also consider the technology behind the IMAX
experience to be "black magic." If you object to the showing of a movie
that merely mentions evolution, then shouldn't you also object to
the use of a movie camera to "steal people's souls'?

_ . _

Bobby Sort is dead and I'm OK with that. Not as OK as I'd be with Toby
Keith keeling over in the middle of a hog-screwing competition; but I'll
take what I can get. Not that I had anything against Bobby Short; in fact,
I've head several interviews with him and he seems to have been a really
nice guy.

It's just that I despise Cabaret signing and the sort of people who pretend
to enjoy it. It's hard for me to entertain a thought more enraging that the
mental visage of Bobby singing "Drop Me Off in Harlem" to a crowd of Blue
Bloods at the Carlyle Hotel. If I could've had my way, when Bobby finished
the song, his entire audience (including human scarecrow Gloria Vanderbilt)
would've been rounded up at gunpoint; blindfolded; forced into a van; and
dropped off in Harlem.

_ . _

askas (22k image)Real questions and answers
from the Ayatollah's official website

Today's Question

Is oral sex by husband or wife allowed?

Answer: It is permissible provided no liquid out swallowed.

_ . _

_ . _

_ . _

gonzale5 (19k image)

She bared it all in Lesbian Swirl Fest 7 and
Two Dicks in One Chick

She bares her soul in her wonderfully bad blog

Happy birthday to ...

Foxy Lady who turns 24 today.

And Rosie O'Donnell who turns 43.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
periepw - treat

If the above word looks like ippojshit to you,
then you need to go here
and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC. Dude.

The Latin word of the day is:
servare - to save, preserve

Replies: 9 Comments

on Monday, March 21st, Rory said

How about a "most annoying women" feature on Peggy Noonan. Or is it over?

on Monday, March 21st, billzebub said

Hey, we got us one of them there whatcha callit Ginormous talkin' piture shows uptown and that blasphemous science museum.
Course it don't never show no pitures I want to see. Septin the giant version of Gladiator what come out a few yearn back.

on Monday, March 21st, Doc said

Heck, I've been through the south and kinda understand why them fine God-fearin' folks don't wanna deal with evolution;it ain't reached em yet...

on Monday, March 21st, SirAtededge said

Elvis said it all "I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused".

Except by Peggy Noonan.

I'm a mild and reserved man by nature, but there ain't enough Zoloft on the planet to allow me, a claw hammer, and Peggy Noonan to get within 100 feet of each other.

on Tuesday, March 22nd, Jackalope said

Last fall after the "election," there was a lot of fanciful talk of the blue states seceding. In a related story, California is doing an end-run around the Bush junta by giving tax breaks to stem-cell research firms that locate in-state. You will rarely hear me say ANYTHING good ever comes out of California, but this is a good idea. Everytime those Red States try to make us a Red Nation, just do an end-run around the policy. Twenty years down the road, the Red States will still be bitching about taxes while the thriving Blue State economies are still footing the bill.

on Tuesday, March 22nd, Nigel Tailwind said

I know someone raised in the Bronx who was sent to be a field rep in Texas. I asked him after spending more than 25 years in Texas why didn't he pick up the accent. He said, "I came to instruct".

On a side note. My old boss, rest his soul, hired Bobby Short to sing at his daughter's wedding. (In Harlem!)

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on Thursday, March 24th, Rodney said

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on Thursday, March 24th, billzebub said

I know it causes poorness in the middle class. And hunger in the lower class.

divide2 (4k image)

Ronald Reagan in Hell
The Paul Kircher Show
The Dead Milkmen

March 2005

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