Thoughtless for the Day

Home » Archives » March 2005 » Either / Or

[Previous entry: "Can I call you "Tip Toenail"?"] [Next entry: "As I walk this land of broken dreams"]

03/20/2005: "Either / Or"

tonyb1 (25k image)If you own two or more Dead Milkmen CD's, the odds are pretty good that
you've never read Soren Kierkegaard's Either / Or. Don't worry;
you haven't missed out on much. Basically, Kierkegaard's premise is that
you can either lead a wretched life of devout piety and go to
Heaven, which is a rather dull place; or you can lead a life of wanton
excess and go directly to Hell. Down either path lies misery of one sort
of another. Needless to say, Kierkegaard died a virgin: A miserable virgin.

What never seems to have occurred to ol' Soren is that it might be
possible to lead the most chaste of existences and still spend an eternity
in a lake o' fire. Or, for that matter, one might arrive at the Pearly
Gates to discover not Saint Peter but Anton LeVey. The truth is that we
just don't know: and neither did Kierkegaard.

This Either / Or approach to reasoning has plagued Americans, both on the
Left and Right, for quite some time. Either you're for the war with
Iraq, or you don't support the troops. Either you're in favor
of reparations for Slavery, or you're a racist bastard. Haven't
these people ever heard of AND? It's a funny little logical function
that allows two things to be true at once. For example: The accuser's
mother is a con artist and Michael Jackson is a pedophile.

See how useful AND can be? It really steps up to the plate when
discussing Terry Schiavo.

Does Terry have a right to die? Yes. Should Terry have her feeding-tube
removed? No. Do I have any idea of what the Hell I'm talking about? Maybe.
Let's start with the basics.

Terry Schiavo did not leave any sort of "Living Will" that might indicate
rather or not she would want to be disconnected from life-support were she
to be severely incapacitated (Let this be a lesson to all of you - stop
reading this and don't come back until you've gotten that Living Will
together). 19 judges in 6 courts have decided that the right to decide
rather or not Terry's tube gets removed lies with her husband, Michael.
And that's good enough for me.

By the way, one of the goals of the Terry Schiavo Foundation is to "cause
a change in the guardian laws that bring about a situation like Terri's.
Current guardian laws can allow a spouse to have complete control over a
loved-one's life and death and can clear the path for euthanasia of that
loved-one, against the immediate family's objections." A caring family
and a bad idea. Imagine that your spouse had repeatedly told you
(but was too lazy you make out a Living Will) that he or she did not want
to be kept alive by artificial means. One day your spouse is in a horrible
accident involving a carload of midgets and a cement mixer and rendered
brain dead. Before you can fulfill your husband or wife's wishes, in comes
crazy Aunt Gertrude with a court order in one hand and rosary beads in the

As far as I'm concerned, Michael Schiavo has the right to have his wife's
feeding-tube disconnected.

And that would be the wrong thing to do…

Laying aside the question of rather or not Terry is in a "persistent
vegetative state" or not (Terry's parents have produced a video of her
which appears to show her making eye contact. However, this "eye contact"
takes place in only a few seconds of the nearly 4 and a half hours of video
taken by Terry parents. This still hasn't stopped the video from reaching
the Number 5 spot on MTV's TRL Live), there is still the issue of
how Terry will die. With the feeding tube removed, it could take
Terry over a week to die from a combination of starvation and dehydration.

Shit Luther, we've all looked at pictures of Terry Schiavo and said "If
that ever happens to me, pull the plug." The problem is that there is no
plug to pull. No switch to flick that will instantly and painlessly
extinguish Terry's life. Remember; when we were 17 we all said "I hope I
die before I turn 30."

Now, as for all of those people whom you've seen on the news praying
outsideof Terry's hospice: They're decent, caring human beings and
a bunch of assholes.

Look. I agree with these jokers that Terry Schiavo's feeding-tube should
not be removed. But what I want to know is where these people and their
candlelight vigils were when the Iraqi war was declared? Yes, one woman
slowly starving to death in Florida is, indeed, a tragedy. But so are
100,000 dead Iraqis (make that 99,998 - I'm not shedding any tears over
Uday and Husay). And I can't help but wonder hat these people's position
would be if the only thing that could save Terry was the product of
stem-cell research. How compassionate would they be then?

_ . _

askas (22k image)Real questions and answers
from the Ayatollah's official website

Today's Question

In relation to the money and gifts, which are given to a child who is
not baligh:

A: do the money and gifts belong to the parents or to the child itself?

B: if they belong to the child, can the parents spend the money for

C: if they can spend the money for themselves, do they have to replace it
and give it to the child once he or she becomes baligh?

D: can they spend the money for the child’s benefit?

E: if they can spend the money the child’s benefit, do they have to replace
it and give it to the child once he or she becomes baligh?

F: do the parents have to pay khums on money given as gifts to their
non-baligh children?

Answer: A: It is the child’s own property.

B: - Mother cannot but father can. Father can use the money or take it as
loan and then return it to his son.

C: Explained above.

D: Father can.

E: In this case, it is not necessary to replace it.

F: If it remains unused for a year, the father should pay off its khums.

_ . _

gonzale5 (19k image)

She made whooping sounds in Gang Bangs 5: When Will I Be Loved?,
Butt Plumbers, Francesca Has a Negro Problem,
and Pull My Hair and Call Me Stupid

He made the same whooping sounds in Altered States

Happy birthday to ...

Ashley Moore who turns 23 today.

And William Hurt who turns 55.

The ancient Greek word of the day is:
eunh - bed; marriage; sex

If the above word looks like ippojshit to you,
then you need to go here
and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC. Dude.

The Latin word of the day is:
orare - to pray

Replies: 7 Comments

on Sunday, March 20th, billzebub said

Truer words have never been spoken...I own all the DM albums (excluding the 2 greatest hits comps that I consider to be ruthless marketing, of course) and have never read Kierkegaard. How did you know?

These same compassionate types were bombarding my wife's high School (Where she teaches, not attends) last week in an effort to "Save America"...their arguments: that the gay agenda and vile entertainment are more important matters than tending to the hungry or ending unjust wars...just stroll on over to
and scroll down to March 17th and read their accounts of how they lambasted students who appeared Islamic with hateful slogans.

on Monday, March 21st, Travis said

But you never said what happened to the carload of midgets!!!

I once told someone who said the only way to heaven is through Christ that if someone can be a good person, but a non-believer and go to hell, but another person can be a total puppy-kicking jackass all his life, and accept Jesus as his savior and go to heaven, that religion is doomed to fail because it was made up to make people be good to each other. His response was something akin to, "Get thee behind me Satan!"

I'm not sure if anything I said has any relevance, but I really am worried about those midgets.

on Monday, March 21st, Nigel Tailwind said

Did you see the pictures of young Terry?
If the husband had any balls what so ever he would've smothered her years ago. Death by feeding tube removal is inhumane. I'll wager there isn't a court in the country willing to sentence even someone so vile as the BTK killer to death by starvation in light of the eigth amendment.

on Monday, March 21st, Samuel said

I agree with how inhumane feeding tube removal can be...but, of course, we're viewing it as if we starved to death as we are now. If you're a vegetable with no brain function, will it hurt?

Regardless...why is everyone against a morphine overdose? That should be the way to go.

on Monday, March 21st, Doc said

Rodney,I do know that when your time comes,Vienna will pull the plug...Yeah funny how most of these right-to-life/anti-abortion people don't mind how our troops are killing people cause they're 'Godless-Pagans' Yup, Jee-zuz sho iz weepin'...

on Tuesday, March 22nd, Christine said

Not only would Vienna "pull the plug", Doc. I can guarantee there would be no lawsuits from family members. Unless we have to sue to watch his slow demise ;-) And for tv rights. Perhaps a short film...

on Wednesday, March 23rd, Fatty said

Actually, the "or" operator (v) also allows two things to be true at the same time. The exclusive disjunct, or "either / or" is (PvQ) & ~(P&Q). DUH!!!

divide2 (4k image)

Ronald Reagan in Hell
The Paul Kircher Show
The Dead Milkmen

March 2005

Powered By Greymatter

cobb (33k image)