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03/09/2005: "I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die"
Long before Tipper Gore stitched together the bodies of stolen corpses to
create the PRMC, there was the North Alabama White Citizen's Council. In
1956, thirty years before Gore and her zombie army of the undead discovered
the life-force-destroying lyrics to Darling Nicky, the NAWCC's
secretary, Asa Cater (What kind o f name for a White Southerner is "Asa"?),
summed up the organization's chief gripe with the genre: "Rock 'n' Roll is
a means of pulling the white man down to the level of the Negro".
Since America has had a long love affair with irony, it should've surprised
no one that the next person to raise the banner of Rock 'n' Roll censorship
would be a Black man. In the mid-1970's, Rev. Jesse Jackson, shocked by the
blatant sexuality expressed in the song Shake Your Booty , launched
a campaign to ban all "sex rock" songs from the public airwaves. Had
Jackson been successful in his efforts, it's very likely that he would've
never been subjected to Get Down Tonight: The song which,
undoubtedly, forced to good Reverend to father an illegitimate child.
Up next; Tipper Gore. You know the story: Dull husband, Senate hearing,
Frank Zappa, John Denver and Dee Snider, warning labels, Monica Lewinsky,
"lock box", retard in the White House.
OK, so the history of the Rock 'n' Roll Inquisition may be summed up
thusly: White Southerner, Black Reverend, and White Southerner. Which means
it must be time for…
Rev. Al Sharpton, who has called TV and radio to engage in a 90 day ban on
musicians who use violence to promote their music or build their street
credibility (or, as the rest of the world likes to call them - "Rappers").
"Let me be clear. I am in no way saying we should ban music based on
lyrics," Sharpton opined. "Radio stations ought to enforce a
standard for performers and say they're conduct has to be a certain way."
Got that? It's not the lyrics that Reverend Al has a problem with -
it's the behavior. Like 50 Cent's tendency to fire bullets at his
former protégé, The Game.
Had peculiarly named hillbilly Asa Cater and the North Alabama White
Citizen's Council adopted this stance, their crusade to stamp out Rock 'n'
Roll might have been successful. "Lemme be clear. It's not the race-mixing
an' the hip-shacking what's givin' us a case of the vapors; it's the
behavior of singers like Chuck Berry, who has recently been arrested
for violatin' the Mann Act. Now, if ya'll will kindly excuse me; I've gotta
go make Ned Beatty squeal like a pig. And I hope Neil Young will remember:
Southern man don't need him around, anyhow."
If 50 Cent and The Game were not wealthy entertainers, they'd be free to
shoot at each other with only minimal public interest. Shit Luther, you
don't see Al Sharpton proposing that the Quicker Liquor institute a 90 day
ban on Crazy Anthony and New-Glock Jamal.
Before Rap, Punk attempted to frighten and offend the Powers-That-Be and
failed miserably; ending its life as The-Softer-Side-of-Sears friendly
Grunge. Truth be told, middle class White kids, unless they're shooting up
a High School, just aren't that scary.
Before Punk and Rap, the most lyrically violent and misogynist form of
music on the planet was either Country, or Western, or Country Western.
Between the years 1940 and 1980, it was impossible to turn on the radio,
below the Mason-Dixon Line, without hearing the woeful tale of man, driven
by daemon alcohol, who gunned down his cheatin' woman. And when it came to
behavior, Country Western performers not only talked the talk; they walked
the walk: remember when Merle Haggard was arrested for DUI - on a riding
mower?
Country Western music's transformation from its earlier incarnation ("I'm
bound for Folsom Prison…and Hell…and I can't take my dog with me to either
place.") to its present state ("Gawd Bless the USA…and Jesus!") is the
story of how White Trash climbed from the lowest wrung on the social ladder
to the next-to-lowest rung.
Immediately (and we're talking, like, the very next day) after the Civil
War many newly freed Blacks migrated (ran like Hell) North where, free to
pursue previously denied educational opportunities (like opening a book
without being flogged), they would create a vibrant middle-class. As the
economic and social power of Blacks rose, the fortunes of White Trash sank
lower and lower, until they occupied the lowest strata of American society.
The above contrast becomes even more stark when one looks at the
predominate music of each group at the time this shift in power took place.
Ragtime, the music of Northern Blacks, was a upbeat, eclectic mix that drew
as much for the classical tradition as it did from earlier forms of jazz;
while Country, the music of poor, Southern Whites, transmogrified into a
collection of three-chord, downbeat ballots chronicling the sad lives of
the agricultural underclass… and their dogs.
An argument may be made that American does, indeed, have a State Religion:
Capitalism. Our Saints are those who, either by virtue of birth, ingenuity,
or graft, have obtained wealth. Are sinners are the poor. As the poorest of
the poor, White Trash were continuously demonized: Either with a greater
purpose in mind, as in To Kill a Mockingbird, or simply because they
were an easy target, as in the art-house classic Deliverance.
This might still be the state of thing today had not two events taken
place. The first was that, following WWII, a second wave of Blacks came
north who, upon arrival; found themselves not only unwelcome by Northern
Whites, but also by the Black Middle-Class who, ironically, referred to the
new arrivals as "Country".
The second factor in the social redemption of White Trash came when
politicians recognized them as a large, potential voting block. Oddly, the
first politicians to exploit this opportunity did so not by emphasizing the
enmity between poor Whites held for affluent Black, but by supplying rural
whites with a new enemy: The Eastern Liberal Intellectual. George Wallace
claimed to the champion the "taxi driver, little businessman, beautician or
barber or farmer" against the "pointy-headed pseudo-intellectual."
Slowly, the American public began to replace, as the national ideal, the
college-educated Easterner with the rugged, partially illiterate, cowboy.
The Western made a brief reassurance and suits and ties gave way to boots
and Stetsons. The final chapter of the reign of the Easterner came when
JFK caught a bullet in the most-cowboy-of-all state - Texas.
With the troublesome specter of the clever Yankee finally dealt with, the
denomination of poor Blacks shifted into high gear. By the mid-seventies,
Blacks, no longer represented by Langston Hughes, but by the baby-making
Welfare Mother, were back on the bottom rung of the ladder and Dolly
Parton graced the cover of Rolling Stone.
The above contrast becomes even more stark when one looks at the
predominate music of each group at the present time. Country, the music of
poor and not-so-poor Whites, has become a glitzy, happy parade of American
values. "Sure, I might have problems," sings a mildly retarded man in a
ten-gallon hat, "but I know that things'll be jus' fine. "Cuz I'm livin' in
the Land of the Free… and so is my dog." Meanwhile, Rap music is primarily
the "Police Beat" section of your local paper read over a slow, minimal
beat.
If Rev. Al were smart, he'd steal a page from George Wallace's playbook and
start demonizing intellectuals. With eggheads on the bottom rung, Blacks
would have nowhere to go but up. Besides, haven't you always wanted to turn
on the radio and hear MC Escher singing "Give me back my volume of
Voltaire, or I'ma cut you, bitch."
_ . _
I haven't seen The Contender yet (even though one of the boxers, who
happened to be from Philly, committed suicide) but I have a suggestion to
make the show better. Have an actor made-up to look like the late Rod
Steiger present the losers with one-way tickets to Palooka-ville. Sure,
they wouldn't get the joke; but we would.
_ . _ 
Real questions and answers
from the Ayatollah's official website
Today's Question
Is playing a chess allowed?
Answer:It is absolutely unlawful.
_ . _
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She overcame negative stereotypes in both Asian Cheerleader Cavity Search
and Zen and the Art of Fellatio 2
And she overcame negative stereotypes in both The Unbearable Lightness
of Being and Chocolat
Happy birthday to ...
Kylie Rey who turns 20 today.
And Juliette Binoche who turns 41.
Rwmh - Rome
If the above word looks like ippojshit to you,
then you need to go here
and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC. Dude.
cantare - to sing
