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02/18/2005: "Quid ergo?"

Q: When was the last time that the Terror Alert Level was raised to
"Orange" and when was it lowered back to "Yellow"?

A: The threat level was raised to "Orange" in July of 20004 and lowered
back to "Yellow" five hours after Bush was elected


Originally I hadn't planned to write anything about Gannon-Gate. Partly
because I'm getting a little bored with the echo chamber that this site
is turning into (Sure, I know that I'm right all of the time but
would it kill you people to disagree with me every now-and-then?), but
mostly because I thought that many on the Left were making a mountain out
of a rather tiny bulge.

For those of my readers who spend most of the week as Trappist Monks, I'll
recap the story:

Until recently Jeff Gannon was an employee of Talon News ("Your
source for unbiased news coverage and no-spin reporting"), which appears
to be a web site that specializes in "news" in reprinting Republican
National Committee and White House press releases ( Both Talon News
and the similarly fucktarded GOPUSA are owned by the same former
Texas delegate to the 2000 Republican convention).

It was in his capacity as a "reporter" for Talon News that, for two years,
Mr. Gannon was allowed to attend White House press briefings where he
either pitched the softest of softball questions (At a January 26th press
conference Jeff, making a reference to Harry Reid and Hillary Clinton,
asked George Bush "How are you going to work with people who seem to have
divorced themselves from reality?") or repeated talking points raised by
such luminaries as Rush Limbaugh.

The problem (apart from the parroting of Right Wing insanity, of course)
is that Jeff Gannon isn't really Jeff Gannon. Jeff's real name is James D.
Guckert. And James D. Guckert had a sideline - as a $200-per-hour "escort".
It's unlikely that Mr. Guckert was working undercover (huh, huh) while
researching his article "Kerry Could Become First Gay President".

At first I thought "So what if Guckert/Gannon had a Day Pass to the White
House press room?" Shit Luther, those things are easier to come by than a
loofah sponge in Bill O'Reilly's shower. Nathan even had one back when Mel
Gibson's The Passion was released (Sadly, Ari Fleischer refused to
acknowledge Nathan's raised hand, so Nathan never go to ask his question -
"Mr. Fleischer, does the President fear that the blatant homoeroticism of
The Passion might encourage young people to experiment with…you
know…Gay stuff?" ). So I just planned on ignoring the whole thing.

Then two things happened. The first was that I learned that Guckert/Gannon
is an alumnus of the same collage as me - West Chester University (The
official college of High School dropouts). As it turned out, Jeff/James
and I attended WCU at the same time. Since Guckannon was a member
(in the fullest sense of the word) of the TKE fraternity, it's very likely
that he beat me up on at least two occasions (For free! Nowadays Jeffames
would charge at least $400 for that kind of action. Plus another $50 for a
"Happy ending.") Wow, brush with fame.

The other thing that happened was the Right Wing media has completely
ignored Gannon-Gate. I don't think the "military escort" has been mentioned
once on FOX News. And our good friend and "comfort woman" Michelle Malkin
has also failed to mention the mini-scandal (Although the pugnacious
Pacific Islander has devoted plenty of space to the many troubles of CNN's
Eason Jordan)

But what pisses me off the most about Gannon-Gate has to be the attitude of
the members of the mainstream press who have covered the story. Sure Jeff
Gannon may've been a profession lap dog ("Happy ending" extra), but - in
the wake of 9/11 - so was almost every other reporter.


Further Reading:

Trappist Monk Cartoons!

A child's garden of hemp

The smoking scalp

Replies: 6 Comments

on Friday, February 18th, Doc said

Gay right wing pillow talk:'Fill-it-buster,Hostile takeover, or aMENdMENt? It nice to know that the neocons are as f-ed up as the ultra liberals are...

on Friday, February 18th, IVOTEDFORZUES said

I didn't know you went to WCU. That's where I go.

on Friday, February 18th, ebbv said

i've disagreed with you in the past (mainly regarding whether voting green is worthwhile or ont) but pretty much since the election you haven't posted anything i really took issue with.

maybe you should make an effort to be more disagreeable.

here's some of my own personal views you could champion that would result in vehement opposition:

+ castration of anyone who prays nightly, claims creationism as a valid belief and/or thinks anyone cares that they masturbate nightly while dreaming of katie couric.
+ hot saucing of NASCAR dads.
+ anal and nasal loofa for all right-wing minorities.
+ nightly sobbing at the state of the world.

on Friday, February 18th, billzebub said

You're not gonna get any argument outta me on this one...But I do think you were wrong to suggest the Nuge wouldn't wanna come to Philly just to kick your ass. He'll get you in the stranglehold, baby! What else has he got going on? Besides, you painted quite a picture about shooting squirrels in downtown Philadelphia.

on Saturday, February 19th, Jeebus said

Rodney - look, I'm a fan of your site, but enough about Malkin already! I agree, she sucks, but how many thousands of times do you have to say it? Accept her lameness and move on - there's nothing to see here...

Also, if Nugent is going to kick your ass, he'll do it on March 1st, since he's playing the Troc then.

on Saturday, February 19th, SirAtededge said

Face it Rodney, you're what's known as an acquired taste. Even most of the people who'd heard of the Dead Milkmen recall Joe's marvelously catchy ditty and nothing else. Anybody who hits this site regularly and posts on it is probably on a certain wavelength. Your alternative is to actively court the "million dickheads" market which Athens explicitly eschews.

Suppose loads of Huskers and Malkinites started posting in Athens. It would just mean more work for you and besides, since most of the topics would be political, a certain someone is bound to throw in several hundred lines of omphaloskepsis because he disapproves of such stuff and the threads would die quickly.