[Previous entry: "Point. Counter Point."] [Next entry: "Who's your omnipotent daddy?"]
01/12/2005: "The Greatest Conspiracy of Our Time Revealed"
The Bush Family is Responsible for
the Tsunami and I can prove it.
Time-Line of a Man-Made Disaster
1944: During WWII, George Herbert Walker Bush, a young American
pilot, is shot down over the Pacific. Bush manages to swim to a small
island where he uses the hemp ropes of his parachute to start a signal
fire. While inhaling the smoke from the fire, Bush has what he will later
describe as a "Freakin' awesome idea for a machine that would create giant
waves."
After being rescued and returning home, Bush discuses his "awesome idea"
with his father, Senator Prescott Bush, who begins to use his influence to
push through a "black project" known as "Operation Nu Wave".
1951: With the funding secured, the Pentagon begins construction of
a giant wave making machine in a secret location off the coast of Borneo.
1961: 23-year-old Michael Rockefeller, partaking in Anthropological
research off the coast of Borneo begins asking questions about a "giant
machine" that he has seen. CIA operatives, at the request of Prescott Bush,
"deal with the problem."
1963: Michael Douglas, a 17-year-old high school student, enters an
essay titled Why I want to be a Seismologist to a writing contest
hosted by a local Houston newspaper. In the essay, Douglas expresses his
desire to "someday help warn people about earthquakes and tidal waves."
Douglas wins the contest and the essay is printed in the paper where it is
read by George H. W. Bush. Fearing that young Douglas' ambition might
someday endanger the success of "Operation Nu Wave", Bush recruits Laura
Welch to befriend and "dispose of" Michael Douglas. Ms. Welch performs her
duties with such precision that a greatly impressed Bush arranges for her
to later be married to his eldest son, Gorge W.
1971: George W. Bush is smuggled out of his National Guard post buy
CIA agents and taken to Borneo where he is taught the inner-workings of
"Operation Nu Wave" and given a cover story (Bush is trained to act like a
"dumb-shit Frat boy") to use upon his return to America a year later.
1976: George H.W. Bush is rewarded for his work on "Operation Nu
Wave" by being appointed head of the CIA, ironically at the insistence of
then Vice President Nelson Rockefeller.
1977: The "Nu Wave" craze begins to sweep America. CIA Director
Bush, fearing intelligence leak, signs Secret Order No. 2157: authorizing
the tapping of Adam Ant's phone.
President Jimmy Carter, who has, oddly, never been briefed about on
"Operation Nu Wave" discovers Secret Order No. 2157 and fires Bush who
avowals revenge.
1980: After nearly two dozen attempts to explain "Operation Nu Wave"
to Presidential Candidate Ronald Reagan, Pentagon Officials come to the
conclusion that "the senile old fart just doesn't get it." An agreement is
struck that George H. W. Bush (who has just returned from an
arms-for-hostages swap meeting in Paris) will serve as Reagan's Vice
President.
1981: Jeb Bush is sent to Florida to study tidal activity. George W.
is sent to Texas to study hurricanes.
1985: Neil Bush secretly diverts nearly $1 billion in cash and
hookers form the Silverado Savings and Loan into "Operation Nu Wave".
1998: Jeb and George W. Bush become the first siblings to
simultaneously govern two states since Nelson and Winthrop
Rockefeller.
1999: Gorge Bush's daughters, Jenna and Barbara, begin investigation
fluidics by studying the movement of beer in a frosty mug.
December 5th, 2004: George W. Bush signs Executive Order Numbe
r 60007 which in part states that "should there ever be a tsunami in the
South Pacific late in my second term, then I get to stay President."
December 5th, 2004: Marvin Bush (the "Fredo" of the Bush Family)
accidentally triggers the tsunami machine by pressing a large red button
labeled "Do Not Push".
dinh - whirlpool
present; be near
If the above word looks like ippojshit to you,
then you need to go here
and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC. Dude.
volebant - they wanted
