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12/30/2004: "Wedded, Beheaded, Died, Divorced Beheaded, Survived"
Susan Sontag died on Tuesday and her corpse wasn't even cold before
mouth-breathing dullards who aren't fit to polish her coffin began lining
up to take a NASCAR-fueled crap on her legacy.
Before I proceed, I should remind everyone that my fellow Leftists do a
lot of thing that piss me off. They wear Che Guevara T-shirts and scream
"Free Mumia" at potted plants and dust bunnies. Susan Sontag only did two
things that ever pissed me off. The first was, of course, her famous crack
that "the white race is the cancer of human history."
Sure, it was a stupid thing to say (particularly for a white person who
was later diagnosed with cancer) but at least she got to say it in the
Partisan Review. Shit Luther, many of the 'tards who've spent the better
part of this week ripping into Sontag would consider themselves lucky if
they managed to land a byline in Parade. Hell, a few months back
theses same idiots were praising Zell Miller, for fuck's sake. The same
Zell Miller, who, around the time that Sontag was calling the White race
a cancer, said that Lyndon Johnson was "a Southerner who sold his
birthright for a mess of dark pottage."
This doesn't make Sontag's statement less wrong, but it sure-as-shitting
doesn't make the mental midgets who've been engaging in her post-mortem
trashing any brighter.
You've probably already guessed that I was also pissed off by Sontag's
remarks, made in the The New Yorker, shortly after the 9/11 attacks:
"In the matter of courage (a morally neutral virtue): whatever may be
said of the perpetrators of Tuesday's slaughter, they were not
cowards."
I may have never had anything published in the Partisan Review
(But I do have a piece in the latest issue of Barracuda which, in my book,
is better) but it seems to me that one of the defining characteristics of
a coward is attacking people who can't fight back. Had the 9/11 hijackers
attempted to use unicycles to crash into a biker bar, then - maybe
- we could attribute some bravery to their actions.
Come to think of it, I kind of agree with Sontag that the 9/11 hijackers
were not cowards: they were pussies. Well, that's settled. Let's move on.
As pissed of as I was by the above part of Sontag's New Yorker
piece, it was the following that really got under the skin of the good
citizens of Mayberry (and punch-line-for-life Ed Kotch who said "Susan
Sontag will occupy the Ninth Circle of Hell for her outrageous assaults on
Israel. I will no longer read her works."):
"Where is the acknowledgment that this was not a 'cowardly' attack on
'civilization' or 'liberty' or 'humanity' or 'the free world' but an attack
on the world's self-proclaimed superpower, undertaken as a consequence of
specific American alliances and actions?"
Edit out that part about the attacks not being cowardly, and you have to
agree with Sontag…sort of. Had the US not spent the last quarter century
funneling money into Israel without demanding that that country adopt some
basic human rights policies (like stopping the use of torture), I doubt
that we would've been that high on al Queda's hit list.
Let's get this straight: the 9/11 attacks on the US were "collateral
damage" from a civil war within Islam.
The average Muslim believes in secular government, rights for women, and
the freedom to read any Allahdamned book you please. The problem is that
there are some Muslims who believe that all heads of state should have the
"Ayatollah" in front of their names and than anyone with more than an
eighth grade education is an effrontery to God. These assholes are willing
to kill to get their point across. Normally (and up until the occupation
of Iraq), these dickmunchers just killed other Muslims on sandy soil in
some Hubbard-forsaken part of the world. On Sept. 11th, 2001, they decided
to "broaden their horizons", so to speak (The real lingering
question about 9/11 isn't "could it have been prevented", but "how did
people who are so stupid ever learn to fly a plane in the first place?").
We have a similar problem in America. In another decade, Pat Robertson will
be ordering high school football players to crash jets into the "great
Satan of Europe."
Ubi eram? Ita vero, Susan Sontag. Let's take a moment or two to recount the
great things about Ms. Sontag.
First, and foremost, there was her ground breaking 1964 essay Notes on
Camp which marked the dawning of the "so bad it's good" concept of
popular culture. In other words, Susan Sontag made it possible for you and
I to enjoy Meet Your New Mommy with a sense of irony and completely
guilt-free.
When the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini ordered a jihad on Salman Rushdie's
ass, it was Sontag who managed to get the literary community to circle
the wagons.
Not only did Sontag write, but she also directed two film: ;fc=1;ft=1">Duet For
Cannibals and Brother Carl (And that's her playing the part
of Susan Sontag in Zelig.
In 2000 she won the National Book Award for her historical novel
"In America."
In 2001 she was awarded the Jerusalem Prize: an award which is given to a
writer whose work explores the freedom of the individual in society.
Most of all, Sontag loved books and reading. That, in my admittedly twisted
mind, makes her a candidate for Sainthood.
So, if Susan Sontag's good deeds outnumber her sins, then why is the
literary cast of Hee Haw* lining up to spit on her grave? Well, it's a
Haves vs. Have Nots kinda thing.
Right Wings love to say that Leftists are morally bankrupt. They're halfway
correct. Most Leftists are financially bankrupt. That's one of the
reasons we're always putting forth plans to redistribute the wealth:
Socialism, for example.
The Right, on the other hand, is intellectually bankrupt. That's one
of the reasons we're always putting forth plans to redistribute ignorance:
Creationism, for example. An important step in spreading the Gospel of
Ignorance is, of course, the daemonization of intellectuals.
The image of the Intellectual as enemy of the people among Right Wingers
is not new. After all, wasn't it a Nazi officer who said "When I hear the
word 'culture', I cock my gun"?
* Huh, huh…Gaylord Entertainment.
_ . _
Christopher Hitchens has writtne a great goodbye to Sontag.
_ . _
I touched on Susan Sontag's death, briefly, on yesterday's Paul Kircher
Show. I heavily recommend that you give yesterday's show a listen. Not only
will you get to hear Paul and I round up the year's events, but you'll also
get to here Paul ask for callers and get our friend Doc.
_ . _
Speaking of Doc, he sent me these predictions last New Year's Eve and asked
me not to publish 'em until the end of '04:
Well, 2003 is almost over and most(some) of you are
asking the same thing- what the f is gonna happen in 2004? Here are my
predictions,based on mostly substance-free guessing.
IN THE WORLD OF POLITICS: Howard Dean is elected president after scoring
a record number of votes in the mid-west and the south .Most of the
voters don't know or care about his policies though,they just relate to
him able to yell like a wrestler from the WWE...Dubya is actually
relieved at the outcome-'Now ah got mo time ta golf an' stuff.' the HSN
announces that Bush will host a show for them pushing their new "Useless
Jewelry for Millionares" line. Arnold Schwarzenagger is elected to
California's highest office after record turnouts in Compton ,Watts and
Oakland when Snoop Dogg declares that Arnold is my nagger...
IN THE WORLD OF BUSINESS:2004 wil be the year of outsourcing-AOL will
offically change its name to Akmed On Line and the U.S. Mint announces that
it is moving all money production to China to cut costs. Meanwhile,
MEXICO announces that its biggest export is now Mexicans, surpasing
tequila, pot and illegal fireworks combined.In a related move, the
Mexican government seals up the border from California to
Texas to prevent desperate Americans from illegally entering and filling
jobs-dishwashing gardening etc- that its own skilled workforce
(now in the U.S.) won't touch...
THE WORLD OF ENTERTAINMENT: Reality/Game shows
hit a new all time low when Fox introduces'Who Wants To Do A Millionaire?'
Paris Hilton who signs on for a celebrity round, quits when told she can't
swallow on camera and has to wear panties...Other shows- 'Who's Ya Daddy?'
This little gem from the WB is a not so subtly aimed at urban/innercity
viewers where kids and try to guess who fathered them. Malt liquor and
Tobacco companies line up to advertise...'What's My Dosage?'another gem
from FOX (naturally...)has patients from mental hospitals compete against
each other... Mel Gibson in an apparent attempt to woo Jewish audiences,
announces plans for"Anne Frank The Musical" which he will promote and
fianance himself because 'You-know-who controls the media and the banks'...
Whaaa!?!, Huh? Whadya mean it's 2004 and it's almost over?Whooaaa, I
really gotta stop playin' video games and disconnect the cable....
_ . _
peinaw - be hungry
If the above word looks like ippojshit to you,
then you need to go here
and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC. Dude.
erat - s/he, it, there was
