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11/10/2004: "Malkin: Blah, blah, Liberal Media, blah, blah, blah"
When I first heard that Malkin's column, today, is all about Barack Obama,
I thought Michelle had come down with a big-time case of Jungle
Fever and was looking forward to a cameo appearance in Driving Ms.
Malkin. But everybody's favorite cheerleader for internment camps is
just pissed off, as usual. By the way, I once knew I guy who was half
Black and half Asian. He had spinning rims on his rickshaw. Anyhoo, here's
Michelle's take on Brother Obama:
Here are a few mainstream media rules of thumb: Minority Democrats in
public office are inspirational role models. Minority Republicans in public
office are embarrassing sellouts.
Minority Democrat politicians are principled. Minority Republican
politicians are misguided.
Minority Democrat politicians represent the hopes and dreams of all
Americans. Minority Republican politicians are traitors to their
"communities."
While I've never really been a "stick to the rules" kinda guy, those are
the sort of rules that I could get behind. Hell, here's another rule to
add to the list: Asians who feel that the internment of their people, by
the US Government, during WWII was justified are embarrassing, misguided
sellouts and traitors to their "communities."
Face it, Michelle; there are only six Black Republicans in the entire
country and five of 'em (Alan Keyes, for example) are wearing tinfoil hats.
Oh, and go fuck yourself. If six crazy White guys joined the Black
Panthers, I'd be completely justified in writing "Hey, look at those six
crazy White guys who just joined the Black Panthers. Seriously, there must
be an easier way to learn to dance." Back to Malkin:
Obama's personal story is certainly impressive. The biracial Obama is
son of a Kenyan immigrant and a rarely mentioned white mother (who raised
him after his father ditched the family and returned to Africa when Obama
was 2)…
"Rarely mentioned white mother" ? WTPFMYV? Obama talks about her in nearly
every interview he gives. I know more about Obama's Mamma than I do my own.
Shit, Luther, just using the words "The biracial Obama" implies that there
was a least one honky branch of his family tree.
Did you notice how Michelle cleverly slips in that Obama's father abandoned
him? Sure, it's common knowledge, but it was still nice of Michelle to
remind us.
Malkin then goes on to say some nice things about Obama (like, to the best
of her knowledge, he's never raped a White woman, and there's no evidence
that Barack was involved in any of the 9/11 hijackings - at least not yet)
before introducing us to two rising Republican minority stars who have
been, you guessed it, ignored by the Liberal Media Elite:
Republican Van Tran, a Vietnamese-American, is a staunch defender of
the Second Amendment, immigration enforcement, traditional marriage, tax
cuts, the war in Iraq and the sanctity of life. He is also a self-described
"Reagan kid" and an outspoken anti-communist who escaped his native land
when he was 10. He has been targeted for his views and carries a concealed
weapon to protect himself. Tran was elected to the California State
Assembly and is the first Vietnamese-American to serve in the statehouse.
Republican Bobby Jindal, 33-year-old son of Indian immigrants, was elected
to Congress with a whopping 78 percent of the vote in his Louisiana
district. A pro-life Catholic, Rhodes Scholar, free-market health policy
guru, reform-minded college administrator and Bush adviser, Jindal
bounced back from a close gubernatorial loss to become the first
Indian-American in Congress since 1956. He raised so much money for his
campaign that he showered $25,000 of it on the Republican National
Committee, $12,500 on the Louisiana Republican Party, and an estimated
$125,000 on 45 Republican candidates around the country.
There, Michelle, are you happy now? Instead of ignoring these two
assholes, I've given them plenty of space on my Pinko Commie website. Now
all of my readers in California and Louisiana know who not to vote
for. Jesus, no wonder this dynamic dickhead duo haven't gotten any
publicity. If I was even half as fucked up as these two shitheels, the
last thing I'd want to do is seek out the media's assistance in publicizing
my retarded views. Hell, I don't even know these guys, but it only took one
paragraph about each one of 'em to convince me that they have their heads
up their asses.
Van Tran (Hey, didn't my dad drive one of those in the '70's?) is an
"outspoken anti-communist". Wow, Albania must be shaking in its
state-sponsored boots. Bobby Jindalis is a "free-market health policy
guru." Translation: The HMO's have him in their poket.
And just who the fuck would use the term "guru" when writing about a guy of
Indian heritage. Michelle Malkin, that's who.
xarientizomai - jest, joke
If the above word looks like ippojshit to you,
then you need to go here
and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC. Dude.
