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11/03/2004: "The Time Has Come To Fight A Second Civil War"


boycott (17k image)There's a huge part of me that really wanted John Kerry to win the
election. Don't get me wrong; I don't like the guy and I didn't vote for
him, but I really wanted to see him win. Partly because I wanted to see
Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Bill O'Reilly, and the other Concerned Women
for America get the smug looks smacked off their hideous faces.

But the main reason that I wanted John Kerry to win the election is
because I'm a Northerner, and, rapidly, my culture is being deemed
irreverent. Kerry would've been the first President to hail from the
Northeast to be elected in 40 years.

My ancestors fought for the North in the Civil War. And they didn't go
into battle so that one day "NASCAR dads" could plaster their Ford
Expeditions with rebel flags. They also didn't risk their lives so that
southerners could determine American policy.

Robert E. Lee, despite being a confederate butt-boy, was at least smart
enough to know that the south was doomed to lose the Civil War even before
it had begun. Lee tried to point out to his fellow southern troth-lickers
that not only did Northerners poses more advanced technology and higher
intellects, but that the Northern character was far superior to that of
southerners.

Lee realized that Northerners, although slow to anger, were unstoppable in
caring out their wrath. The time has come to once again stir that Northern
character.

I know that I have quite a few readers who reside (unhappily, I'm sure) in
the southern states. If you're one of them, please let me offer you the
following advice: Move to the Northeast. For our wrath is rising and our
retribution will be merciless.

No, I'm not suggesting that we load up our AK's and go hunting rednecks
(at least, not yet). What I am suggesting is that we use our superior
intellects and economic power to hurt the pocketbook (The frilly, girlish
pocketbook) of the south. Just like we did the the racist morons who ran
south Africa.

I'm calling for a boycott of all products made by corporations which are
headquartered in the south. I'm also calling for a boycott of all products
made by corporations which advertise on the FOX NEWS network. And let
reactionary Northern legislators (or traitors, as I like to call them)
know that they will be unseated (and possibly ran out of the North on a
rail).

Fellow Northerners (along with our brothers and sisters in the Pacific
states) the time has come for us to rise. And rise we will. Rise like a
great, blue angry tide that crushes all that is conservative, reactionary,
and ignorant.





Replies: 42 Comments

on Wednesday, November 3rd, razlerja said

Not only those who's headquarters are in southern states, but also those products which are produced there. No Florida or Texas oranges; California only. No LA hot sauch or Texas BBQ. Main potatos instead of Idaho. You get the point.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, razlerja said

And, to continue the point, let's immediately agree with 'them' and get Roe v. Wade overturned. Now hear me out on this, if you've ever read the case, you know that it has nothing to do with outlawing abortion in the US. It was a case about an anti-abortion law in the state of (you guessed it) Texas. If Roe v. Wade is overturned, all that will happen is that the states that want to (i.e., Red) will outlaw it and those who don't (Blue) can keep things as they are. This will immediately affect an exodus to the Blues, leaving the Reds more of a wasteland than they already are.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, vic said

i live in tx, and i support this boycott, tx sucks really bad, most ppl hear are really really really really unbelievably retarded, and I work at a university!

on Wednesday, November 3rd, billzebub said

This current election cycle actually has me considering another move. I used to live in IL for a while...I just got back from NYC and loved it...something about being surrounded by working brains.

Unfortunately, while the South is a cultural wasteland, it is not an economic one. I don't know if you realize this, but while the rustbelt has lost jobs, the South has seen gains in factories being built and the Financial heart of the country is actually moving to NC. We have 3 of the country's Top 20 banks and Wachovia just absorbed one of the other of the top 20 (SouthTrust).

Promise me I can find a job making $40K or more up there and pay ~$900/month for mortgage and I'm there.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, Pistaugh said

I'm down. Screw the red. "The war on terror" was supposedly the deciding factor for most voters. Yet, the states who were most affected by 9-11, physically, financially and emotionally (and that should be worried the most about another attack), namely New York, New Jersey and D.C. all went to Kerry. Yeah, those people in Nebraska really have to worry about their grain silos gettin' bombed.

Pissed off,

Pistaugh

on Wednesday, November 3rd, rumpleforeskin said

I am a Southerner and proud of it. My family is close-knit and I have a feel for the traditions and values of my ancestors. Those traditions and values have never included lynching or hatred and in fact, although I look white, my great, great grandfather was half-native american. He was a sharecropper in North Florida who lived off the land and worked his ass off his entire life. His son said, "screw this" and moved his family to South Florida to fish for a living. Fishing didn't make him much money either. As a result, HIS son (my grandfather) said, "screw this" and insisted that his kids go to college. I love my family. I love the south for it's beauty (there's really nothing like the mountains in North Georgia at this time of year). For that reason and because Florida is a flat intellectual shithole, my father said, "screw this" and moved up there to work for a university.

That said, I've been living in Southern California for five years now and I'm here because I will not live in a state which overwhelmingly votes against my beliefs in EVERY FUCKING ELECTION. In short, I said, "Screw this" and left.

I'm old enough to remember when my parents would support a democratic nominee that would have an honest shot at actually winning a seat. Now, even the Southern Democrats who hold seats in the Congress vote Republican (Zell Miller, I'm looking at you).

I'm all for the boycott. I think it's high time to break that christian coalition stronghold that has it's tentacles firmly wrapped around the South and nothing will change their minds faster than a little poverty.

Also, for those of you who can't live without your barbeque (even if it's tofu Rodney), I happen to own an award winning recipe for sauce that I would gladly share with everyone in order to help you get past that particular diet staple.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, mindless drone said

I have finally had it. Fuck it, man, when in Rome and all that jazz. I'm hopping on the band wagon and buying a gun. Being a right wing dimwit is tres chic. I can't wait to start following NASCAR and fucking my cousin.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, billzebub said

"I'm calling for a boycott of all products made by corporations which are
headquartered in the south. I'm also calling for a boycott of all products
made by corporations which advertise on the FOX NEWS network"

Do you mean just the South, or the South and the midwest? You know the midwest is also red.

You're gonna find that a tough pill to swallow, my friend as most Corporations are global nowadays and all of them have a plant down here.

No Honda or Toyota for you. No BMW either. No Gasoline since not only are they all based in TX, but they're friends of the Bush family. No Walmart (Arkansas). No Bank of America, Suntrust, Wachovia, or BB&T.

No Michelin Tires, No Dell Computers. No FedEx or Tyson or a bunch of other crap I don't feel like looking up. Boycotts are useless in today's global economy. Sorry, but that's just the way it is.

Go ahead and start a war, I bet the red states has a surplus of AK's under the bed. I had a crazy uncle who owned 3 of 'em, two M1's , an UZI and an AR15. I'm morally opposed to the soouth, but y'all ain't got what it takes, so don't let your mouth write a check your butt can't cash.

Just wait for Bush to fuck things up real good and you can gloat when Hillary starts running things in 4 years. Peace out.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, rumpleforeskin said

Or it could go the way the way of Reagan as Rodney mentioned before where Bush's second term sees multiple cabinet changes and his agenda softens up a little.

Here's hoping.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, razlerja said

Hey, when you southerners come here to Philly later this month, you'll not want to go back.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, Nigel tailwind said

I think your anger should be directed at the voting block that directly cost Kerry the election. It was the 18-24 year olds in those states that sat on their asses and didn't vote that cost Kerry the Presidency.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, jack said

More 18-24 year olds voted in this election than in decades prior. In fact, it was the college voters in my state of New Hampshire that finally turned us "blue".

on Wednesday, November 3rd, Christine said

Geez, Rod, you almost make me want to move back there just to participate in your boycot. Not really, but it's a great idea.

I only buy local as there's really not much else available in NZ. If I see any Florida or Texas products here, I will make sure to avoid them.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, Nigel tailwind said

Jack, more got registered from reports I'm seeing (and I'll have totals tomorrow) but they didn't vote.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, razlerja said

Yeah, especially in places where there were long lines (like Ohio), it seems that they just chose 'fuck it' for president.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, Pistaugh said

Screw them. Their ranks need a little thinning out anyway. A nice draft and a couple more wars oughtta do it.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, Grundy Sherwood said

The real enemies are the fundamentalists and evangelicals. While the dems did get out record numbers of voters, so did these assholes. These are the ones to bring down. Yes, boycott Walmart. And the next time you're in a christian bookstore, or a store that sells christian books, buy a bunch of them, take them home and rip out random pages, then return them. Picket outside fundy churches, like the "god hates fags" people. Whatever you can do to make life more difficult for these crispy nutbags is a good thing.

Oh, and fuck Ohio. Let them all lose their jobs. Ignorant morons.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, IVOTEDFORZUES said

I was googling around and found this thing about a boycott on Florida oranges that took place in the 1970s because the Florida Citrus Commision hired Anita Bryant as a spokesperson. She was a pop singer who was trying to get gay rights legislation in Florida repealed because she's a christian fundamentalist nutjob. Here's the link.

http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/boycotts.html

Also if you do a google image search of Anita Bryant, you can find a picture of her getting hit in the face with a Banana cream pie during a press conference. Its kind of amusing.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, ScreamingMan said

Ok, So to celebrate President George W. Bush's (first) election I've immediately printed off an application for Canadian citizenship for my son who was born here (I'm a drunken Canuck). I am astounded that so many people voted for Bush. I didn't think Kerry was the panacea for all the problems here in the US but at least he would have tried to fix some of the Reaganesque legacy.

The upside is that now the Republicans will have NO ONE to blame for their colossal fuck-ups over the next four years, i.e. the economy and the Iraq war.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, Paul Kircher said

Hey Rodney, did'nt I see you on FOX News Sunday night?

on Wednesday, November 3rd, tsfrog said

Pennsyvania Uber Alles!!

I am all for it. I would love to seperate the Red from the Blue.

U-B-S-A!!

Cheers,
Tom

on Wednesday, November 3rd, Barfbutt said

Yay! How about a list of companies on the web? It would be great to have an online resource like that. I think we all feel pretty powerless right now after so many conservative GOP victories, the castration of the Democrats, and the "re"-election of a cock who doesn't give a shit about anyone who disagrees with Billy Ghram. We need something better than rioting right now.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, Mr. Crash said

If you separated the Red from the Blue, then the Red would thrive and the Blue would be in debt up their asses supporting the bs they approve.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, FreddyBooger said

Amen Mr.Crash and that's coming from a liberal as myself

on Wednesday, November 3rd, billzebub said

Sorry for all that tirade earlier, but you don't know how tired I get of being condescended to from someone who can't run a fucking spellcheck.

I left Illinois after a few years because everywhere you go people hear your accent and immediately assume you're an idiot or an inbred hick. Listen...inbreding goes on all over the place. FDR married his fucking cousin. the south doesn't have a monopoly on stupid. The midwest is giving us some pretty stiff competition. And when folks generalize about other people, well that's what racism is really...thinking like Tyrone downstairs didn't vote, maybe all black folks didn't vote...stupid lazy blacks.

Anyway, You get to be all smug from afar, you don't have to walk amoungst the idiots...I can't talk about the election with anyone at work cause they all voted for Bush. And half my co-workers are from Philly and relocated after Wachovia merged with Corestates. The most vocally pro-Bush person at work is an old lady from Philly. So spare me your righteous indignation. I feel like the stranger in a strange land because I don't fit in up north or down here.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, Rory said

What about the mid-west?

on Wednesday, November 3rd, Rory said

P.S. At least I'm in Illinois.

on Wednesday, November 3rd, billzebub said

What's the matter with Kansas? Or nebraska? or Indiana? Or Ohio? Or Kentucky? Or Missouri? or...

on Wednesday, November 3rd, rumpleforeskin said

"Listen... inbreeding goes on all over the place."

Interesting side note, the only two people currently serving time for brother/sister incest are doing so in... Michigan.

I only point that out billzebub because while I have transplanted from the South to the West, I only take shit about the South that we deserve. The stereotypes piss me off and I get all defensive.

And remember what the Drive By Truckers sing, "Don't worry about your accent. A southern man tells better jokes."

on Thursday, November 4th, secret_ian said

I remember the one time I visited Texas. I was very young, and just driving through as my family was moving from California to Illinois. We stopped at what to me seemed like paradise. A restaurant that served all you could eat steak. I was like 8, and thought this was the best innovation ever. Who wouldn't want all the steak you can eat, for every meal? Now, when I think of the South, I think of all you can eat steak... and hordes of people who think it was the best shit ever. You know, grown adults. My excuse... I was 8.

on Thursday, November 4th, billzebub said

More things for you Yanks to boycott:

Coca-Cola, Krispy Kreme, Frito-Lay, Any clothing or textiles that say "made in America", more to come.

on Thursday, November 4th, Nigel Tailwind said

One problem is that northern culture is seen as irreverent (sic). Maybe you meant irrelevent?

on Thursday, November 4th, Nigel Tailwind said

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politicselections/vote2004/countymap.htm

Think it's a north vs south thing? Check it out.

on Thursday, November 4th, rumpleforeskin said

I think that just goes to show what many of us have been debating on this site for the better part of a year now. Namely, that there is little difference between the two parties on important issues so for the majority of Americans who don't dig deep into politics, there's no urge to vote for anyone other than the incumbent. The same thing happened back when Clinton ran for a second term against Dole. The GOP had nothing really different or bad to say about him that could really compel voters to change their votes and thus they had no shot at winning.

on Thursday, November 4th, razlerja said

I don't think Bush is a 'fucktard' or an evil genius, as has been suggested by others. I just think he is a weak President. I don't blame him for being 'himself'. I do blame the people who elected him because he 'talks to God'. The USA is turning into the Christian States of America. I don't want to live in a Theocracy. They just might as well take a shit on Thomas Jefferson's grave!

on Thursday, November 4th, billzebub said

Thanks for the map Nigel, see I live in one of the 4 blue counties in NC!!

on Friday, November 5th, Irrelevant (chris... if you'd like) said

First of all Rodney, I love you.
and you too, rumpleforeskin, and billzebub

Okay, now that I've said that...

ONE INDEPENDANT HOUSE REP.

Who is this guy?!?

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/pages/pre/VT/H/01/594/frameset.exclude.html
BERNARD SANDERS HAS THE BIGGEST BALLS AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
RIGHT NOW!

Notice how in the profile they MUST point out that
HE'S JEWISH! THIS IS IMPORTANT to CNN! and TO THE
AMERICANS THAT GET THEIR INFO FROM CNN!

WHO'S THE ONE NON R OR D IN THE SENATE?
Why does CNN paint r's red, d's blue, and i's brown?!?

(I still like the color magenta myself...)

I hate to boycott 'The Simpsons' and 'Malcolm in the Middle',
but I'm with you. I guess those funny shows are trying to
make us 'think' they care. What the hell is on Rupert's mind?

What I am kind of interested in...

(and I know you're interested
in me saying what I'm interested in)

...is, with all the new hip 'think for yourself' movements
(which have been around for years) (and TELLING someone to
not believe anything they hear is a paradox sort of),
Why do the ones that say 'think for yourself' always use
such smartass sarcasm?

I love humour as much as the next guy, but does it really
take mimicry, insults, and acting like the idiot as a mirror
to the idiot to show them what they are?

(this might get deep, but...my one friend said, if a director
tells you to do something, and you know it's not going to work,
do it anyway.

Then they'll see it's not going to work...

But if you do it with the idea in your head that it's not going
to work, the director will think you're just not doing it right,
so it's best to do it as best as you can, even if it's bad.)

That's just acting though.

What it points out is, if you mimic someone insultingly, they're
probably not going to listen to you. If you truly step into their
shoes, and play the part, and it falls apart, then they'll really
see themselves as if looking into a mirror that's clean, clear,
and naturally lit, without funny lighting or magnification or anything.
(I wish i didn't have to take the long Douglas Adams esque approach
to getting around to making my point on this, but that's just how I am
I suppose... sorry for the excessive text...

I know this is 'your' web page...

(Thank you, whoever has read this far...)

I'm still confused as if anyone actually tallyed all the votes,
or did they just decide the president based on exit polls?

If so does this mean that only every 'nth' person's vote counted?

And Bilzyblobby, you may think a boycott will not do anything
(perhaps because you live in you own area, with your perceptions,
your beliefs, your opinions, and your understanding of what WAR is),
but there is such a thing as War without bloodshed. Civil War,
in the truest sense.

Argue, disagree, exchange ideas, hell, maybe even yell and cry a bit,
but we could do without the property damage and loss of life. If
everyone learned the art of arguing without getting angry, that might
help. And the art of listening. But who listens to art fags?

on Friday, November 5th, Pistaugh said

Actually, Kerry won most of the exit polls in states like Florida and Ohio. Kinda weird that those voting machines disagreed.

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin.

on Friday, November 5th, Samuel said

In Florida most people just walk up out of the swamp and press buttons...not much unlike Louisiana. They hardly speak a language, let alone have the ability to participate in a poll.

on Friday, November 5th, irrelevant (Gardinia if you'd like) said

so they actually DID count the real votes, right?

I got really confused in following all of this.

on Friday, November 5th, Irrelevant (barbara, maybe if you'd like) said

IN THE NEWS here, (new jersey, philadelphia, tri-state area (i guess deleware sometimes has somethign happen) they ACTUALLY had a mess up because someone thought the voting machine was off.. They saw a roller number that had already countedoh, i dunno 67865 votes, and thought that the thing was messed up.. until someone told them that that's the number of votes counted on this machine in all elections it was used.. the digital number display showed the votes counted this election...

I forget if this happened in NJ or Philly, but it made me smack my forehead.

That and the places being closed because 'apparently' some asshole threw salt, and peopls saw a white powder, and panicked.

I really wish i taped things like i did on 911 (i had four vcr's running -.-) so i could back up my memories of the stupidity and silliness that strikes me as just ... ODD...

on Friday, November 5th, billzebub said

Irrelevant, I am not really for a war...I was being defensive because i get mad when people from somewhere else act like all southerners are stupid. Most are...but most people are in general, so it's all the same.

Anyway, I do believe boycotts are silly when you look at the big picture (which is we live in a global economy, and companies don't operate out of any one place). How do you determine which things to boycott? Companies that are only based in the south (Like Coca Cola has it's HQ in Atlanta)? Companies with a factory or two in the South (BMW, La-Z-boy, Siemens, Michelin, etc)?
It's simply too hard to continue a boycott of this magnetude. Everything is too intertwined.

The NAACP tried to boycott SC a few years back and finally threw in the towel when it had absolutely no economic impact on the state. That and they couldn't convince rappers to not buy a new Z3.

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