10/19/2004: "President Jesus, Move On Off My Porch.org, and More"
On Sunday the New York Times ran a long feature article by Ron Suskind
titled "Faith, Certainty and the Presidency of George W. Bush"
(Registration required). The gist of the piece is that President Bush and
many of his top advisors relay on faith rather than facts
as the basis on which they make key policy decision. Now, I think (with
the exception of a few of the folks here) we've all known this for quite
some time, but that knowledge doesn't really take any of the edge off of
seeing it in print.
There was no Plan B for post-war Iraq because Jesus told the Leader of the
Free World that everything would be alright.
There, you see what I mean? Now, that might seem like an oversimplification
to some of you, but remember that Bush deals in oversimplifications. So, I
win, which means that I get to pick what we do next, and I pick "read some
more scary stuff about Bush's pipeline to Jeebuz".
Serial plagiarist Joe Biden had the following tale to tell. ''I was in the
Oval Office a few months after we swept into Baghdad,'' he began, ''and I
was telling the president of my many concerns'' -- concerns about growing
problems winning the peace, the explosive mix of Shiite and Sunni, the
disbanding of the Iraqi Army and problems securing the oil fields. Bush,
Biden recalled, just looked at him, unflappably sure that the United
States was on the right course and that all was well. '''Mr. President,'
I finally said, 'How can you be so sure when you know you don't know the
Biden said that Bush stood up and put his hand on the senator's shoulder.
''My instincts,'' he said. ''My instincts.''
Biden paused and shook his head, recalling it all as the room grew quiet.
''I said, 'Mr. President, your instincts aren't good enough!'''
When President Bush was asked - before embarking upon the invasion of
Iraq - if he'd consulted with his father (the last President to oversee a
ground-war with Iraq), Bush Jr. replied he hadn't. In fact, he explained
that he'd sought advice from a "higher power". So the same God that that
told Pat Robertson that he would be President, also told George W. Bush
that "winning the Peace" in Iraq would be a cakewalk.
Well, this explains, nicely, the smirk on Bush's face during the
Presidential debates with Kerry. The Senator from the Soviet Satellite
State of Massachusetts could spit out all the facts he wanted, but
Bush knew - deep in his gut - that it's faith that counts.
George W. Bush - frequently wrong, but never in doubt.
"Have you heard the good news about our Savoir, John Kerry?"
Also on Sunday, while the New York Times was informing its readers that
the most powerful man in the world hears voices, MoveOn.org representatives
decided to pay a visit to the Anonymous homestead.
I was in the shower (yes, I do occasionally shower) when the kids in the
Kerry t-shirts came trick-or-treating for votes, so Vienna had the dubious
honor of dealing with them. According to Vienna, the MoveOn.org asked for
us by name. When she asked them how they knew who we were and where we
lived (before telling them to go away), they answered that they had gotten
the information from the Voters Registration Office.
Now, here's an organization that, rightly, criticizes the Patriot Act for
intruding on our privacy, yet doesn't mind digging out my name and voting
record (Which, indecently, they got wrong. I am not now, nor have I ever
been a registered Democrat) in order to drop by my house on a Sunday for
the political equivalent of an Amway pitch.
Speaking of pitchmen…
People, please stop emailing me to tell me just how brave Jon Stewart was
to take on the Crossfire boys. Sure, Stewart was right about the Crossfire
Crew being a pair of hacks, but Tucker Carlson was also right about Stewart
being John Kerry's buttboy.
And finally, on the topic of politics…
I will be moderating a debate between PA 1st District Congressional
candidate Chris Randolph, incumbent Bob Brady, and challenger Deborah
Williams this Saturday, October 23nd at 5 pm at the First Unitarian Church
on 22nd and Chestnut Streets. By the way, Brady and Williams may turn out
to be no-shows.
Also, I'll be on Paul's show, tomorrow, playing Who Wants to Be a
"Win or lose, we go shopping after the election."
- Imelda Marcos
Halloween DVD rental alert!
Now here's something that I've waited thirty years for:
Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural has, at long last, been
released on DVD, and anyone who fails to rent it is, hereby, proclaimed to
be a nine-year-old girl.
Lemora, which is a great example of what can be done with a tiny
budget and a lot of inspiration, stars the late Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith
(Familiar to B-movie fans as the actress who appeared Caged Heat,
Massacre at Central High, Parasite, and about a million other
drive-in flicks) as thirteen-ear-old Lila Lee, "The Singing Angel" who is
summoned to a remote location to visit her dying father.
Surreal and creepy, you'll be glad that you rented this (if for no other
reason than the over-the-top scenes with the bus driver.) 666 stars.
Rent or die!
qarraleoj - bold
If the above word looks like ippojshit to you,
then you need to go here
and download the SPIONIC font for either MAC or PC. Dude.