[Previous entry: "My TVC15"] [Next entry: "Four More Years of Bush May Not Be Such a Bad Thing"]
10/12/2004: "Teh Best Magazine in America - EVAR!"
I had some business to take care of in Wilmington today, and - thanks to
SEPTA's policy of only sending trains there during the vernal equinox - I
ended up having to hang around the station for bout two hours. Searching
for something, anything, to read I wandered into the station's magazine/
book/candy/soda store and picked up a copy of WIRED.
Normally, I don't read WIRED, but the headline ("The Plot to Kill
Evolution") and the little silver sticker attached to the mag which
declared "The Best Magazine in America - Chicago Tribune" were enough to
convince my to plop down five bucks for a copy. I want my money back.
OK, I realize that I'm about to brutally murder any chance I ever had of
writing for WIRED, but something really needs to be done here. After
finishing the magazine, all I could thing was: Were the folks at the
Chicago tribune high on a combo of PCP and rubbing alcohol when they
conducted their little survey? Did they compare WIRED to High
Times or Jane and just stop there? Have the drooling 'tards at
the Tribune ever heard of The Baffler or Reason?
My main problem with WIRED, apart from the fact that the Evolution
article never really kicked into high gear, is (And, again, I should
point out that I'm not a regular reader. They may've been having an off
issue) that the magazine reads like a relic from the 1990's. On every page
happy tech workers bicycle to jobs where they get to play video games all
day long. It's as if someone forget to tell the editors at WIRED
that the Internet Bubble burst four years ago and nobody gives a shit about
Halo 2. Sweet Jesus Fuck-buddy, they actually make Steve Wozniak
jokes!
In the piece about Lee Abrams, the line "but he's the guy that killed
radio" was repeated so often that it started to remind me of Rik Mayall's
"But I don't know Vanessa Redgrave" bit.
If the retro-tards at WIRED wanna do some cutting-edge tech
reporting, they should send a reporter to India to interview the guy who's
doing my job.
HALLOWEEN RENTAL ALERT!
Deathdream is now out on DVD - featuring commentary from the film's
writer, Alan Ormsby (The genius behind Children Shouldn't Play with Dead
Things) and the films director, Bob Clark (the not-so-genius behind
Porky's). Sadly, I learned from Alan's commentary track that he and
Anya are no longer together *sob*.
Deathdream is an updated re-telling of The Monkey's Paw
involving a creepy Vietnam Veteran [Insert John Kerry joke here] and his
beyond-average family. The scene with the family dog (You'll know it
when you see it) is worth the rental price alone.
Deathdream rates 666 stars. Don't miss it.
