10/07/2004: "Dude, it's the Devil"
It's never too late to have a happy childhood and it's never too early to
celebrate Halloween. You can do both by renting El Día de la bestia
(The Day of the Beast). Don't let the cheesy title put you off,
this films rules all nine levels of Hell (Ten, if you count the lowest
level which is being reserved for Bill O'Reilly and the Democrats who
tried to kick Nader off the ballot.)
For every good flick about the Anti-Christ/Apocalypse (The Omen,
Rosemary's Baby, Beaches, etc.) there a 100 crappy ones
(The Omen II, through XXVI, End of Days, The Seventh Sign,
Jason vs. Mary Kate and Ashley). Well, those crappy films finally
get their comeuppance thanks to The Day of the Beast which takes the
Anti-Christ/Apocalypse genre and into bold new territory - comedy.
Álex Angulo stars as Father Ángel Beriartúa, a priest who deciphers the
code behind the Book of Revelations and then spends most of the movie
trying to contact the Devil. It's a role that Roberto Benigni would've
killed for, back before he started appearing in total shit like Pinocchio.
This film has it all, folks - Satanic music fans, flaming bums, and TV
Psychics. 666 stars - don't miss it.
Speaking of Satanic good times ("J.J. put down that goat head."), don't
miss tomorrow's Paul Kircher Show. I'll be dropping by to witness Paul
interview Jack Grimes, UFU candidate for President and the good folks
behind Weird New Jersey (a redundancy?)
Pennsylvania, where the mean and the stupid coexist peacefully…
And speaking of the Paul Kircher Show, if you caught yesterday's show then
you learned that Washingtonian Magazine, in their annual review of the best
and worse of Congress, bestowed a little recognition on both of
Pennsylvania's Senators. Arlen Specter tied, Ted Stevens (R-AK), and
Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) for the title of Meanest Senator (This was
the fourth time Arlen clinched the title), and garnering the coveted spot
of Dumbest Senator was, no surprise here, Rick "Gang Bang Towel Boy"
Santorum who tied with Patty Murray (D-WA). Congratulations to all…except
Santorum, who can go fuck himself.
Many of you have written me to inquire about Mr. Edgar Allen Twain, whose
short story The Black Frog of Calaveras County recently appeared
on this very website. Even more of you have written me with spelling and
grammar suggestions. I'm afraid that the latter will be of little use,
since Mr. Twain died in 1881 (of complications resulting from a Curse that
was placed on him during the Civil War).
For the record, Edgar Allen Twain was a second cousin, twice removed to
Mark Twain (on his mother's side) and a first cousin, thrice removed
(which, technically made him an Aunt), to Edgar Allen Poe (on his father's
During his brief life (he died at the age of 46), E.A. Twain authored over
700 short stories, including The Telltale Hat, The Conqueror
Slug, The Haunted Keelboat, and The Narrative of Huckleberry
Finn. I'm hoping to feature at least one more of Mr. Twain's short
stories before the end of the month.
Tonight, as part of Secret Cinema, Jam Master Jay Schwartz will be showing
The Undertaker and His Pals on the roof of the Whole Foods Market
at 929 South Street.
"When I was child, my Dad took me to the circus. The ringmaster said, 'Hey,
mister, get your kid outta here - he's drawing attention away from the
- Rodney Dangerfield (1921 -2004)