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09/27/2004: "Screw Che Guevara and the motorcycle he rode in on."
Yesterday, I awoke to discover that Vienna and I had no breakfast food, so
I chucked on down to the supermarket to pick up some bagels and muffins.
The supermarket is one of those Whole Foods markets, so - while the
produce is excellent - the hippie and pseudo-hippy factor in unbearable.
Going to the supermarket is a nightmare in itself. Now imagine compounding
the experience with the horror of having to stand in line behind some
flower-child-gone-to-seed who is demanding proof that her vegan cookies
weren't made by enslaved indigenous people and you get some insight into
the Hell that is my life.
So, I'm standing in line and I hear the checkout girl (approximate age: 19)
complement the guy in front of me (approximate age: 22) on his t-shirt. I
look over and notice that the wondrous t-shirt in question is one of those
generic Che Guevara t-shirts. "Wow, that sure is a swell t-shirt" I
say. "What do you know about Che?"
Mistakenly sensing a kindred soul, the kid replies "He was a
revolutionary."
"He sure was. After Castro came to power, Che was put in charge of the
firing squads. Che had 2,500 men shot - and that's by his own score
keeping."
"Well, I …"
"These were husbands, brothers and fathers who were torn away form their
screaming families only to be riddled with bullets, and without a trial
because, as Che put it 'To send men to the firing squad, judicial proof is
unnecessary.' Eventually Che got bored with killing
'counter-revolutionaries' and he was moved to a new job - Governor of the
Central Bank of Cuba. "
Both the checkout girl and the kid stare blankly at me, but I'm rolling
and there's no way I'm gonna stop. "Did you know that Che was an
industrialist?"
The checkout girl and the kid open their mouths, but nothing other than
the smell of "pita breath" comes out.
"Castro appointed him Minister of Industries. Che's motto was "Accelerated
Industrialization!" In other words, he wanted to turn all of Cuba into a
giant factory. Of course, after getting bored with that job, Che decided
to take his act on the road, where he failed miserably to export Cuba's
revolution to the Congo and Bolivia. Not only did Che fail to enlist any
Bolivian peasants into his guerilla army, but it was these very peasants,
whom Che had come to liberate, who turned him over to the Bolivian army.
Oh, I forgot to mention Che's 'labor' camps…"
"I didn't know…"
"That's only because you didn't ask."
People, if there's one thing that bothers me more than some uneducated
yahoo rambling on-and-on about how Ronald Reagan was our greatest
president, it's the Cult of Che Guevara. Unfortunately, the cult is about
to have a membership drive via the film The Motorcycle Diaries.
All I'm asking is that, should you spot someone in a Che t-shirt, you
supply them with the facts. That, my comrades, is Revolution.
Replies: 14 Comments
on Monday, September 27th, billzebub said
That rant reminds me of that dillhole, Tom Morello, of Rage Against the Machine. He is the kind of "communist" who probably has a Warhol painting of Mao on the wall in the living room of his $1,000,000 flat.
on Monday, September 27th, billzebub said
Also, if they just wanted to make a movie that is a great fictionalization of a revolutionary on a motorcycle, they should've adapted John Irving's "Setting Free the Bears".
on Monday, September 27th, briannirvana said
I wish I could dumbfound people like that, Rodney, you go grrrl.
on Monday, September 27th, razlerja said
What's next: 'On a Very Special History Channel episode: Hitler, the paint and spackle years'
on Monday, September 27th, briannirvana said
even hitler spackled before he painted.
on Monday, September 27th, briannirvana said
good one raz
on Monday, September 27th, ebbv said
you realize, rodney, that you made no difference and that as soon as that kid thought he was out of earshot he started mumbling about how you didn't really understand what a great man Che was and how he was trying to help people and that the "bad stuff" he did was just a tragic example of power corrupting.
trying to move people from the very large "stupid pile" to the very small "informed" pile is almost impossible.
on Monday, September 27th, razlerja said
What's up with those Cha trucker hats? You can be a redneck and a pinko at the same time, then beat yourself up!
on Monday, September 27th, Rodney said
Despite plenty o' setbacks, I'll keep trying to move people from the stupid to the informed pile until the schools start doing it for me.
on Monday, September 27th, Doc said
Sadly, there are a helluva lot o those kids'out' there...stupidity is often wasted on the dumb...ya shoulda seen if he was wearin' Nikes. Those Indonesian kids can sure sew up a mess of 'em at 25cents an hour. Viva la WTO!!!
on Monday, September 27th, EricPrew said
i know this has nothing to do with the article but i am planning on doing a project on the Dead Milkmen for my digital media class in college. I need pictures to insert into a powerpoint presentation. Preferably if possible pictures of the band members and maybe cd art if possible. e-mail me if there is anyway you could help me out.
on Monday, September 27th, mr_spray_starch said
Rodney, you are really missing the point here. The kid and the cashier hooked up after you left and fucked each others brains out. THAT my friend is the only reason that kid was wearing that shirt.
It's really adorable of you how you think that these kids actually give a shit... aw shucks.
And "until the schools start doing it for you?"... You should have been a comedian. Imagine that.
on Tuesday, September 28th, crapmonkey said
i think that would have been fun to watch...
on Tuesday, September 28th, Brian Bubonic said
The guy missed a few snappy comebacks:
"No, this is Che Stadium."
"My Pinochet shirt is at the cleaners."
And as you were leaving...
To the checkout woman - "Wasn't that guy in The Hooters or something?"
Later,
Bubonic
Now where's my Von Dutch trucker hat?
