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April 22, 2012

A Message from Synth-Poe

Syth-Poe sez:
Synth_Poe.jpgSomething new, different, and wicked this way comes...soon.

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April 21, 2012

The FOX News Defense

Earnest_T_Attorney.jpgNow, I'm no big-city lawyer like Mr. Atticus Finch over yonder. Whom, I may remind the the court, still refuses to play football for the Methodists. In fact, back in college, I once last so badly in Moot Court that my "client" had to spend a night in real jail (True story). That said, if I was  George Zimmerman's defense attorney I'd beat him over the head with my Doc Martens, the following would be my opening statement:

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I would like to open by conceding that my client is a wee bit of a homicidal douchebag. That said, I would like you to look upon the defendant, Mr. George Zimmerman as also being a victim.

George Zimmerman is a victim of thirty years of the "Southern Strategy". For most of his life, George Zimmerman was told - in subtle and not-so-subtle ways - by one of this country's two major parties that Blacks would take his job and ogle his women if he didn't vote for a tax break for his boss' boss.

George Zimmerman is a victim of every clown who ran for the office District Attorney, promising to be "Tough on Crime." Violent crime has been on a steady decline in this country for decades, but you can't expect idiots like my client to know that. He gets all of his "information" from FOX News and hillbilly emails, for Christ's sake. I shit you not; he actually believes that Gay Muslims are planning to outlaw Christmas and that the UN is going to ship him off to a "Reeducation Camp". No wonder he carried a gun in the shower. He was sold fear on a 24 Hour cycle. For the love of crap, he actually called Sean Hannity. I ask you, is calling Sean Hannity the act of a man with an average or above-average IQ?

And he's not alone. In nearly every neighborhood in this country there's "That crazy old man with the 'Rebel flag' and the shotgun." And when they're not busy posting their inane comments in the Charlie Daniels Soapbox, they're being egged on with mindless slogans like "Don't retreat; reload" and "Take your country back." It's a goddamn miracle we don't have ten Trayvon Martin shootings a day.

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April 17, 2012

Destroy Improve Rebuild

Hey delinquents of the non-juvenile variety, RATYHTL should be fully functional by this weekend, at the latest. In the meantime, in honor of our remodeling, here's the man you voted "most poke-able" in our 2011 Readers' Poll: Faderhead   

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April 14, 2012

[re]FIBRILLATOR (Clear!)

refibrillator1.jpgYes, I'm in the middle of redesigning the site, but I would be a bigger dick than I already am if I failed to mention that Angelspit were kind enough to include my remix of Defibrillator on their compilation [re]Fibrillator   - along with remixes from Needle Factory, Patterns in the Ivy, The Judas Coven and a bunch of other folks I'm not fit to be in the company of. [Humblebrag: they took pity on an old man].

You can get all 13 remixes for free if you buy an Angelspit USB "Spit Pill" for $12. You can also spend a little extra and get your Spit Pill loaded up with other Angelspit music you might not own (someone swiped my copy of "Hideous and Perfect", so I'm gonna get that). Now, if you see me out and about (see sidebar to your right) and show me your Spit Pill, I'll by you a drink.
[Offer void for people under 21]

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April 13, 2012

Blogus Interuptus


Hey folks, I'm going to finally get around to bring this blog back up to speed as well as to some freakish resemblance to life. Please bear with me; new posts coming soon and on a regular basis. Honest!