Thoughtless for the Day

Below are actual one star reviews from Amazon.com of Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

BO-RING!, February 21, 2006
By Casey Miles (Oklahoma City, OK USA) - See all my reviews
This book by far is the worst piece of shi--garbage I have ever laid my eyes on. The story has a skeleton, and a little bit of meat (and I like meat), but mostly, it's just fat. Especially the second stage of Pip's expectations, which finds Pip devoid of any characterizations beyond "I'm rich and you're not," and "Oh, how I do love the lady Estella." It's enough to make you vomit. Mr. Dickens should have made this a much shorter novel, or maybe even a short story. It still would have been boring, but maybe not as boring.

Hello! My name is Pip! I'm an annoying little crybaby with no personality! Will you join me for tea and crumpets?, February 21, 2006
By Thrash - See all my reviews
I started reading this over a month ago and I'm still not finished. I can't get into it at all! It's like a really boring nightmare! I mean, the parts that take place at Satis House are mildly interesting, but no part of it seems to be building up to anything. The story moves so slowly that at times you'd swear it wasn't moving at all, and, to be sure, at times, it isn't! It's just sitting there in its stupid rocking chair knitting and petting its cat by the fire, which isn't even burning! OMG!
You want to read something fast paced and interesting?
Try Daniel White's Hellstone, available right here at amazon.com (plug). Now that's a good book. White's influences span the ages, and don't skip Victorian, if that's what you're into, which you obviously are, or why would you be here?
Don't get me wrong. I like Victorian literature. A Christmas Carol is a very good story, as is Dracula, and Frankenstein, and most of Poe's works. It's just this particular book that I don't like...and anything by Jane Austen.
In conclusion, buy Hellstone. You'll be happy you did.

Great Expectations, May 1, 2003
By A Customer
I thought the book was boring and the worst I have

ever read. It was long and just boring. The characters

were confusing and had so many names that the book went by.

I think Charles Dickens was not a smart man for writing

this book. He could have summed the book up a lot. He used

long word that some times were had to say.

The characters were pretty good to follow by with the different names. Pip was easy to follow as he aged. I thought that Mrs. Joe was a big meaniey. Joe was the nice guy and Estella was a snob in the beginning but shaped up in the end.

Why don't I do something fun like beat my head against the wall for three hours?, April 25, 2006
By Juan Tonamata "Juan Tonamata" (Juan Tonamata) - See all my reviews ( or just see the reveiws above as almost all of these people seem to be the same person)
A guy I work with read this book and it seemed like he was reading it for three years! Every day he sat there with his legs crossed sipping his tea and reading Great Expectations, spending about an hour on every page! What an aristocrat. It was brutal!
Than I tried to read the book.
I couldn't get past the first stage or the first part or whatever because it was so f*cking boring i thought my f*cking head was going to explode! NOTHING HAPPENED!
That freak I work with didn't like it either.
I'm just surprised he could read the whole thing without completely losing his mind.