Thoughtless for the Day

I take a few days off to celebrate Caligumas (remind me to tell you what I got for days 10, 11, and 12) and the whole world turns into Gary Busey on a steady diet of Pixy Stix. Shit Luther, Amy Goodman is in the slammer for inciting a riot; Hurricane Gustav targeted RNC speakers, and Sara Palin's teenage daughter ...

No. It would be wrong to comment on the tragic problems of a candidate's family member. That's why I'm going to avoid the temptation to say "See what happens when Fundies give their kids stripper names, teach them that the earth is forty-six years old, and mix in a heaping spoonful of abstinence-only education? Do you see, Warriors? Do you see what you get when you mess with The Orphans?"

Instead of an endless stream of tasteless Maury Povich "You are the father!" jokes, the large, well-paid staff of RATYHTL would like to wish young Bristol Palin the best of luck in her upcoming nuptials to Levi "I don't want kids" Johnston and offer the follow helpful tip: at the reception, you'll want to make sure that you have enough food to feed an army: Joel's Army, to be specific.

In case you haven't heard, Joel's Army is a disturbing "'End Times' cult" that Governor Palin's church may, or may not, be linked to. Look; I could care less about Palin's daughter screwed up – honestly, I feel bad for the kid - but if a candidate for any office above gong scourer has ties, not matter how remote, to a group quasi-military religious fanatics who want to put the ‘k' back in Waco, I think that's something I have a right to know about; and if Amy Goodman ever gets sprung from the Big House, I plan to ask her to look into it.