On The Fourth Day of Caligumas My True Love Gave To Me...
....Four "WHAT THE FUCK????"s
There no amount of set-up that I could possibly provide you with which would prepare you for what you're about to see, so just watch the video:
Let's recap: Obama = Caligula because both were popular. Oh, and "we don't know much" about Obama. Got it?
While all analogies eventually fail, but this one never even manages to catch the short yellow bus to its special, padded classroom. Personally, I wish Obama was Caligula: maybe then I'd vote for him. Say what you will about Caligula, but he would've captured bin Laden by now.
Quid ergo. Welcome to the world of the ATLAH World Missionary Church and its Grand Poobah, James David Manning, PhD: a former Marketing Executive with Proctor and Gamble and the Ford Motor Company who just happens to have, among other things, "concrete proof to the validity and purpose of purgatory" and who once encountered two angels playing chess in Prospect Park
By the way, that story – the one about chess-playing angels - includes the following, intriguing line:"Pastor Manning had just joined Bethelite Community Church; he was fresh out of prison.". Prison? Yeah, prison. According to Rev. Manning's Wikipedia entry (and we all know how reliable those are), "As a younger man, Pastor Manning burglarized homes, mostly on Long Island. He spent about three and a half years in prison in New York and Florida for burglary, robbery, larceny, criminal possession of a weapon, and other charges before his release in 1978. While in prison, he became a devout Christian."
One thing is obvious: Manning's encounter with the Boys in Blue didn't include a plunger shoved up his dumper because in the good Reverend's head Ebony and Ivory live together in perfect harmony. Or, as Dr. Manning might say, "Slavery was simply a ‘bump in the road' of history, and racism is not our problem." Not even Caligula himself could've said it better.