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Quo Gingivitis

dippstein.jpgOnward, ever onward we march in our quest to find The Worst Movie about the Classical World Ever Made.

Now, before I launch into a postmodernist deconstruction of 300, I'd like to say a word about Quo Vadis (mainly because it was on TCM the other night). Despite being set in Imperial Rome during the reign of Nero, Quo Vadis is a Jesus movie - and a pretty bad Jesus movie at that (during the 50's a lot of Jesus movies where set in Rome so that the studio could up the titillation factor by showing slave girls dancing lasciviously). Quo Vadis is one of those films that whatever shadow groups rates movies always feels the need to assign at least 3 stars to. This is due to the prevailing misconception that filming making was more difficult prior to the release of Midnight Cowboy because filmmakers had to imply everything from sex to special effects that were impossible to film given the limited technologies of the era. If this theory were anymore bullshit it would be Ben Stein. It's much easier to imply something than to take the actual trouble to film it. Do you think that Deliverance would be as disturbing if the Bandit pulled up in his Trans Am and asked Joe Buck where Ned Beatty was, and Buck replied with "I dunno; getting' raped by hillbillies, I guess." Have you ever seen the "edited for television" version of Marathon Man? You'd think Enrico Salvatore "Ratso" Rizzo had just swung by an old Nazi's basement office to get his teeth cleaned.

Shit Luther, now I'm too angry to review 300, so let me just slip out, grab some lunch and maybe a little nap, and I'll post a little latter, OK?


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