Thoughtless for the Day

Last night a nation took a much needed half hour break from watching Mike Huckabee declare himself "God-Emperor of the Hillbilly States" in order to check in with Bad Girls Club 2. Let's recap:

Last week we said goodbye to Lyric, the plucky rapper who stole our hearts. Wait. I'm sorry. I meant to write "the sucky rapper who stole our credit cards." That's better. Before exiting, Lyric was offered this piece of matronly advice: "If things are bad, why not watch a Tyra." If only Lryic had waited a few days, she would've found herself living inside an episode of "Tyra".

Last night's show started off with Tanisha gathering the remaining girls together in the living room to declare a cease-fire between the warring factions, or – as the viewing audience liked to think of it – eight minutes of watching paint dry. As the camera shifted from girl-to-girl two things became apparent. The first was that there is a blond girl sharing the house with the others. It seems that her name is "Hanna" and, so far, she has spoken a total of four words (all variations on the term "skank"). The other is that Cordealia is wearing a t-shirt depicting the Periodic Table of the Elements. At long last we discover the real reason for the tension in the house is Tanisha and Jennavecia's inability to agree on the standard atomic weight of Boron.

Moving right along...

Darlen goes out; gets drunk; returns home and begins to rub her breast on everything that moves and a few things that don't. This upset Tanisha, but only, we suspect, because it's the most action Jumbo's gotten in months. Meanwhile, Cordealia breaks up with her boyfriend over the phone and then goes for a yawn-inducing car ride with...

Sweet breast-rubbing Jesus! Can that really be Ron Palillo - the guy who played Arnold Horshack on "Welcome Back Kotter"??!!?? Hell yeah! It's about time Horshack got some pu... No. Wait. It's just that Moby-looking motherscratcher who Cordealia's been kickin' it with. Sorry.

At this point I switched over to MSNB to catch a breaking story about Mrs. Huckabee's secret lust for Barack Obama's "magnificent specimen of pure Alabama Blacksnake". When I tuned back into BGC, Neveen was still getting ready for that Star Trek convention that never seems to materialize and Cordealia was asking Darlen if she'd ever read Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales". Shockingly, the answer is "No".

The episode wraps up with Cordealia getting "Love Conquers All" (in English, and not the Latin "Amor vincit omnia") with a line through it on her wrist. Cordie, if you're reading this, you should get "Amantes sunt amentes" (Lovers are lunatics) on your other wrist. Darlen pledges to sober up, Tanisha says something crazy, Hanna says nothing at all, Jennavecia doesn't say the N-word, and Neveen waits patiently in the backyard for the mothership to land.

Wake me up when the new girl arrives.