Thoughtless for the Day

Hey folks, it's Wednesday. And that means two things: Mike Huckabee has been wearing the same underwear since Friday afternoon, and it's time to recap last night's episode of Bad Girls Club.

In typical BGC never-ending nightmare style, this episode picked up where last week's left off: with kindergarten drop-out Tanisha banging pots and pans together while singing "The Get The Fuck Up Song"...

which, while tragically insane, was still better than all of Lyric's raps put together. This so upset Lyric that she actually stopped referring to herself in the third person singular for long enough to call her mother in search for advice about how to deal with the escalating tensions within the BGC house. Lyric's mom reached into her jumbo bucket of wisdom and pulled out "Maybe you should watch a Tyra?" (and thus a new catch phrase was born. So long "Pop off"; hello "Maybe you should watch a Tyra?"). It's pretty much the same shitty advice Bush gave the Black residents of New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina.

Tired and sweaty from a long morning of acting not unlike the cast of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Tanisha retired to the kitchen for a refreshing glass of juice (which we all learned has "lots of flavors" - who says BGC isn't educational? Shit Luther, they should run this show on PBS), only to discover that Jennavecia had laced the carton with Tabasco sauce. Abandoning her initial plan to call an ambulance and file charges (apparently Tanisha hails from the more litigious part of the 'Hood), the mammoth Bad Girl settles for trashing Jennavecia's room.

And then the sun went down, which was the cue for the "Bad Bad Girls" to go out drinking while the "Good Bad Girls" stay at home and waterboard blind Sudanese orphans. While Cordealia poured her heart and vagina out to a cut-rate version of Moby, the rest of us learned that alcohol transforms Darlen from a brooding loner into Hustler's version of Sybil. Darlen trashes the house; shoving and name-calling ensues, Jennavecia uses the n-word (forever losing her "do-able" status), and Lyric calls a meeting in which she announces that she's leaving the house in order to seek out a "less negative" environment like the Gaza Strip.

Before exiting, Lyric implores the Girls to embrace the more positive aspects of their personalities (which the audience is left to assume include the ability to stare-down zoo animals and an intrinsic talent for introducing the work "skank" into any conversation) and to seek out inner peace and enlightenment. Vulcan emissary Neveen then gets the last word; reminding us that, in Lyric's world, inner peace and enlightenment are often found lurking in a stranger's pocketbook.