Evidence of Absence
Yesterday, as we were all learning about the Six Wives of Mormon Bigfoot VIII, I remembered seeing an interview with a crypto-zoologist (how come you never see a crypto-fireman or a crypto-neurologist? During my single years, I never billed myself as Dr. Anonymous, the crypto-gynecologist.) who attempted to explain away the lack of evidence for the existence of Bigfoot by saying that since Bigfoot would necessarily have to elude humans in order to survive the fact that no one had managed to capture a Bigfoot pretty much confirmed his existence. Incognito ergo sum.
Sherman, set the Way-Back Machine for 1972.
For 1972 was the year in which two-drink-drunk Richard Nixon and lovable war criminal Henry Kissinger returned from Moscow with a workable nuclear disarmament treaty with the Soviet Union. What can I say? Occasionally, even the most wrong people do something right.
Interestingly, a workable plan for Peace didn't sit well with Donald Rumsfeld or Dick Cheney, who began circulating the story that the USSR was in possession of a nuclear submarine that was so sophisticated that it couldn't be detected by American's Intelligence Agencies. When the CIA came forward and to say that they had no knowledge of such a submarine, Rumsfeld and Cheney said, "See? We told you so."
You can read about the incident here.
Fast forward to the evening of January 24, 2008 when, during a Republican presidential debate, Mike Huckabee said the following about the existence of WMD in Iraq:
"Now, everybody can look back and say, 'Oh, well, we didn't find the weapons,' it doesn't mean they weren't there. Just because you didn't find every Easter egg didn't mean that it wasn't planted."
Bravo Mike! Shit Luther, just because the Iraq Survey Group and several American inspection teams concluded that Iraq had never commenced a large-scale weapons program, doesn't mean that those weapons don't exist. I mean, just because we don't have any pictures of Chuck Norris shoving Easter eggs up Mike Huckabee's ass (a sexual act that I hereby christen as "A Dirty Huckabee") doesn't mean that it never happened.
Next time we'll learn about Barack Obama's plan to eat our children and rape our puppies or something...I need to re-read that email.
