Thoughtless for the Day

"During the Senate debate on the intervention in Iraq, Sen. Clinton made considerable use of her background and "experience" to argue that, yes, Saddam Hussein was indeed a threat."
- Christopher Hitchens from The
Case Against Hillary Clinton

Our story so far: Blair's 2007 Xmas E-Letter had transformed into an excuse for her husband, Steve, to abdicate his role as bread (of life) winner to a dead Jewish carpenter (what a mukna) while son Tucker informed us that if he did not receive the generous offering of
a Fender Jazzmaster, God would be "calling him home". This time we'll be hearing from Blair's daughters Haven and Clancy. The good news is that we're almost finished. The bad news is that I've already read this, so I know it's going to hurt...

Haven - This last year has been a turning point in my life. Coming out of
2006's tremendously difficult school year, I realized something more important and life-changing than any grade. After failing my first English essay and being completely humiliated, I realized in my time of struggle that reaching the end of myself is not a bad place to be. I learned that God sometimes humbles us so that we recognize our need for Him. Now, I'd like to say that I never stress over school anymore, but that isn't the case. Yet, now when I am on the verge of panic and insecurity, I remember that my identity is as a child of God and I call on Him to help me in my weakness. I'd rather be a humble servant, than even an honor student.

Chin up, little buckaroo. Personally, I thought that your essay "How Jesus Won the American Revolution, Discovered Penicillin, and Taught Bears Agriculture" was, if not what one might call "historically accurate", a spirited read. By which I mean it didn't stand a ghost of a chance of even getting a D-.

Clancy - In 2006, God answered my prayer and gave me a friend! But then God (through my mom) started telling me to pray for more friends. "Why? I already have one. I'm fine with that. I mean, it's better than just having a mom and a dog! Besides, I'm content with what I already have." (Which was just my Biblical-sounding excuse for not obeying.) I'm still waiting for Him to answer. But I know that no matter how empty my Events Planner is that God is always with me. Plus, there's that added bonus of Him giving me the best friend EVER, Hailey. (You thought I was going to say Jesus, didn't you. He's pretty awesome, too.)

Sweet Mother of Mithras, that's just a few dead bodies short of being the plot of May. Is it possible that all of the parents in the neighborhood have warned their children to stay away from the "Ol' Whelchel place"?

Then Blair says some more apeshit Jesusy stuff before wrapping the whole thing up with this gem...

(By the way, and this has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas or the point of this letter, but I just have to say it anyway. It is my personal opinion that if carbohydrates were so evil then Jesus would not refer to Himself as the Bread of Life!)

Merry Christmas!

P.S. – I've posted all of my old E-letters and Christmas letters on my website so if you've missed any, especially last year's Christmas letter to which I've referred, you can click here and celebrate Christmas for a few more minutes.

P.P.S – I've also announced the next book we will be reading in "The MomTime
Book Club" so if you're interested in joining the discussion then please drop on by.

Oddly, the last "MomTime Book Club" book was "Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible: Exploring Women of Questionable Virtue" the title stuck in my head because Chris Hitchens mentioned ordering, in a piece he wrote for Slate, from the creepy website of the even creepier church Barack Obama belongs to.