Thoughtless for the Day

My mother has a friend, who's basically a nice lady, but also one of those Right Wing types who earnestly believes every reactionary email that lands in the inbox of her AOL account. That's bad enough, but she insists on forwarding these crazy messages to my mother who then mocks them over phone to me. Circle of Life.

The latest rant she sent my mother's way was some intensely insane bullshit about Barack Obama being a radical Muslim. Personally, I wish he was: then there be at least one interesting thing about him. Anyway, my beef with the email is basically that the author doesn't seem to be using his or her imagination. A radical Muslim? Is that the best they can do? Here's how you run a real smear campaign:

If you love Jesus, white babies, and sunsets, please forward this email to everyone you've ever met (including all of those people who will take one look at the "From:" field and grumble, "Not another email from that asshole again" before deleting it).

Who is Barack Obama?

Alleged US presidential candidate Barack Hussein Hitler Stalin Martha Stewart Obama was born in the wagon of a traveling show; his mamma used to dance for the money they'd throw. His father, Charles Manson Dahmer was a back-alley abortionist who spent his free time ogling white women and wiping his ass with the American flag.

When Obama was two years, his mother divorced his father and joined the ACLU, where she met her second husband: John Wayne Gayce-Kennedy – a distant relative to Ted Kennedy and the author of "Let's Make the Baby Jesus Cry!" He also spent two years in Catholic School – and we all know what goes on in Catholic school!

Gayce-Kennedy introduced Obama to crack cocaine, bestiality, shoplifting, and the films of Michael Moore. ALSO, keep in mind that when he was sworn into office he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead a copy of "Letters to Penthouse".