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Hey there, hodads and homoms. I'm a little swamped tonight so you're going to have to take your love for the written word elsewhere. Here are few suggestions:
"Clean" Movie Maven Arrested For Teen Sex
(youraredumb's hilarious take can be found here)
(via Reason) "Consumer complaints" to the FCC categorized by show:
Hey folks, it's Wednesday. And that means two things: Mike Huckabee has been wearing the same underwear since Friday afternoon, and it's time to recap last night's episode of Bad Girls Club.
In typical BGC never-ending nightmare style, this episode picked up where last week's left off: with kindergarten drop-out Tanisha banging pots and pans together while singing "The Get The Fuck Up Song"...
which, while tragically insane, was still better than all of Lyric's raps put together. This so upset Lyric that she actually stopped referring to herself in the third person singular for long enough to call her mother in search for advice about how to deal with the escalating tensions within the BGC house. Lyric's mom reached into her jumbo bucket of wisdom and pulled out "Maybe you should watch a Tyra?" (and thus a new catch phrase was born. So long "Pop off"; hello "Maybe you should watch a Tyra?"). It's pretty much the same shitty advice Bush gave the Black residents of New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina.
Tired and sweaty from a long morning of acting not unlike the cast of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Tanisha retired to the kitchen for a refreshing glass of juice (which we all learned has "lots of flavors" - who says BGC isn't educational? Shit Luther, they should run this show on PBS), only to discover that Jennavecia had laced the carton with Tabasco sauce. Abandoning her initial plan to call an ambulance and file charges (apparently Tanisha hails from the more litigious part of the 'Hood), the mammoth Bad Girl settles for trashing Jennavecia's room.
And then the sun went down, which was the cue for the "Bad Bad Girls" to go out drinking while the "Good Bad Girls" stay at home and waterboard blind Sudanese orphans. While Cordealia poured her heart and vagina out to a cut-rate version of Moby, the rest of us learned that alcohol transforms Darlen from a brooding loner into Hustler's version of Sybil. Darlen trashes the house; shoving and name-calling ensues, Jennavecia uses the n-word (forever losing her "do-able" status), and Lyric calls a meeting in which she announces that she's leaving the house in order to seek out a "less negative" environment like the Gaza Strip.
Before exiting, Lyric implores the Girls to embrace the more positive aspects of their personalities (which the audience is left to assume include the ability to stare-down zoo animals and an intrinsic talent for introducing the work "skank" into any conversation) and to seek out inner peace and enlightenment. Vulcan emissary Neveen then gets the last word; reminding us that, in Lyric's world, inner peace and enlightenment are often found lurking in a stranger's pocketbook.
My mother has a friend, who's basically a nice lady, but also one of those Right Wing types who earnestly believes every reactionary email that lands in the inbox of her AOL account. That's bad enough, but she insists on forwarding these crazy messages to my mother who then mocks them over phone to me. Circle of Life.
The latest rant she sent my mother's way was some intensely insane bullshit about Barack Obama being a radical Muslim. Personally, I wish he was: then there be at least one interesting thing about him. Anyway, my beef with the email is basically that the author doesn't seem to be using his or her imagination. A radical Muslim? Is that the best they can do? Here's how you run a real smear campaign:
If you love Jesus, white babies, and sunsets, please forward this email to everyone you've ever met (including all of those people who will take one look at the "From:" field and grumble, "Not another email from that asshole again" before deleting it).Who is Barack Obama?
Alleged US presidential candidate Barack Hussein Hitler Stalin Martha Stewart Obama was born in the wagon of a traveling show; his mamma used to dance for the money they'd throw. His father, Charles Manson Dahmer was a back-alley abortionist who spent his free time ogling white women and wiping his ass with the American flag.
When Obama was two years, his mother divorced his father and joined the ACLU, where she met her second husband: John Wayne Gayce-Kennedy – a distant relative to Ted Kennedy and the author of "Let's Make the Baby Jesus Cry!" He also spent two years in Catholic School – and we all know what goes on in Catholic school!
Gayce-Kennedy introduced Obama to crack cocaine, bestiality, shoplifting, and the films of Michael Moore. ALSO, keep in mind that when he was sworn into office he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead a copy of "Letters to Penthouse".
Yesterday, as we were all learning about the Six Wives of Mormon Bigfoot VIII, I remembered seeing an interview with a crypto-zoologist (how come you never see a crypto-fireman or a crypto-neurologist? During my single years, I never billed myself as Dr. Anonymous, the crypto-gynecologist.) who attempted to explain away the lack of evidence for the existence of Bigfoot by saying that since Bigfoot would necessarily have to elude humans in order to survive the fact that no one had managed to capture a Bigfoot pretty much confirmed his existence. Incognito ergo sum.
Sherman, set the Way-Back Machine for 1972.
For 1972 was the year in which two-drink-drunk Richard Nixon and lovable war criminal Henry Kissinger returned from Moscow with a workable nuclear disarmament treaty with the Soviet Union. What can I say? Occasionally, even the most wrong people do something right.
Interestingly, a workable plan for Peace didn't sit well with Donald Rumsfeld or Dick Cheney, who began circulating the story that the USSR was in possession of a nuclear submarine that was so sophisticated that it couldn't be detected by American's Intelligence Agencies. When the CIA came forward and to say that they had no knowledge of such a submarine, Rumsfeld and Cheney said, "See? We told you so."
You can read about the incident here.
Fast forward to the evening of January 24, 2008 when, during a Republican presidential debate, Mike Huckabee said the following about the existence of WMD in Iraq:
"Now, everybody can look back and say, 'Oh, well, we didn't find the weapons,' it doesn't mean they weren't there. Just because you didn't find every Easter egg didn't mean that it wasn't planted."
Bravo Mike! Shit Luther, just because the Iraq Survey Group and several American inspection teams concluded that Iraq had never commenced a large-scale weapons program, doesn't mean that those weapons don't exist. I mean, just because we don't have any pictures of Chuck Norris shoving Easter eggs up Mike Huckabee's ass (a sexual act that I hereby christen as "A Dirty Huckabee") doesn't mean that it never happened.
Next time we'll learn about Barack Obama's plan to eat our children and rape our puppies or something...I need to re-read that email.
This just in: Bigfoot is Cain. Yep, that Cain - the one from the Bible. So, we're three sentences into this post and it's already time for a recap: Not only is Bigfoot real, but so is Cain, and they are one-in-the same, or at least that what some Mormon theologians seem to believe.
And what evidence do these Mor(m)ons base this amazing claim on? See, that's the problem with you Liberal Atheist types: you continue to demand that people back up their bullshit claims with evidence. But you must insist, here it is:
"As I was riding along the road on my mule I suddenly noticed a very strange personage walking beside me. He walked along beside me for about two miles. His head was about even with my shoulders as I sat in my saddle. He wore no clothing, but was covered with hair. His skin was very dark. I asked him where he dwelt and he replied that he had no home, that he was a wanderer in the earth and traveled to and fro. He said he was a very miserable creature, that he had earnestly sought death during his sojourn upon the earth, but that he could not die, and his mission was to destroy the souls of men. About the time he expressed himself thus, I rebuked him in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by virtue of the Holy Priesthood, and commanded him to go hence, and he immediately departed out of my sight."
That was David W. Patten, a leader in the early Mormon Church, describing his 1835 encounter with what was either Bigfoot, Cain, Rob Zombie, or a combination of all three.
So, there is at least one presidential candidate who probably believes that Cain was a real person who lived less than 8,000 years ago, and another who might possibly believe that not only was Cain a real person who lived less than 8,000 years ago, but that Cain is still alive and leaving gigantic footprints all over the Pacific Northwest.
Next time, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld will help us to understand how the lack of evidence for the existence of Bigfoot is, in actually, evidence of the existence of Bigfoot. I'm serious.
Every night I pray to Mithras that some Anthropology major will find a way to mine the cultural goldmine that is Bad Girls Club for his or her Doctoral Thesis.
For decades now, smelly hippie types have claimed that a matriarchal, gynocentric society would be non-violent, but the last few episodes of BGC have doomed that theory. The girls have essentially divided themselves into two warring tribes - Hell, the last episode even had the word "War" in the title - "The Hyena Clan" led by bipolar ham-beast Tanisha and the "Slut Clan" led by the alluring (in a feral kind of way) Jennavecia.
When viewed through the prism of the "Bad Girls Club Effect" (Remind me to copyright that term), the behavior of Lynndie England may not have been anomalous. In other words: just because a group is dominated by women, doesn't necessarily mean that group will be a bunch of stanky tree-hugging pacifists.
By the way, if you think I'm going overboard with the tribal analogy, consider, for a moment, the fate of "Clayboy". Clayboy was, in essence, the tribal fetish of the Hyena Clan, which helps to explain why the members of the Slut Clan felt the need to deface him. What I find most intriguing is the manner in which Clayboy was vandalized: Most primitive fetishes tend to feature large phalluses (the Roman God Priapus would be an example) that are often hacked off by opposing tribes. In the case of Clayboy, a large phallus was added, in effect transforming him into a fertility symbol!
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it might be easy to mock BGC as dumb TV, but with just a little digging, you might discover that the anthropological and sociological issues tucked away in an episode of BGC is just as valid as anything you might find on PBS - and twice as entertaining with not a single goddamn pledge drive.
By the way, I'm also awarding last night's episode bonus points for the attempted recreation of the “pissing in the mouth" scene from Hated. Not that it had anything to Anthropology, I'm just glad I lived long enough to see it on TV.
"Gov. Huckabee is the self-anointed candidate of the simple and traditional Christian folk who hate smart-ass, educated, big-city types, and if you dare to attack him for his vulgarity and stupidity and bigotry, he will accuse you of prejudice in return."- Christopher Hitchens from "Huck's Free Pass"
In other Hitchens/Fundie news, Chris will be debating some ID hillbilly this Sunday; the kicker being that the moderator will be talking turd Ben Stein.
Sorry about the short post folks; I’m more than a little on the exhausted side. I’ll be back in full force tomorrow night with an anus-clinching review of this evening’s episode of Bad Girls Club. Speaking of BGC, has anyone been able to register on the message board? Every time I attempt to register (yes, I’ve emailed the webmaster), I get an error, so if one of you manages to log on, may I borrow your username and password for an important "experiment"?
Dear Ayatollah Huckabee,
I just wanted you to know that I'm not going to gloat over your failure to take first place in the South Carolina Republican Primary. Although how a provincial pig-fucker like you could fail to capture the hearts of the sort of backwoods dumbfucks who make your dog-killing fuckwit son look like George Bernard Shaw will forever remain a mystery to me. Not that I'm a huge supporter of John McCain, who I feel pussied out by visiting Bob Jones University. In my opinion, the only reason to step onto the campus of BJU would be to inform the shit-for-brains student body that they have one hour to get their racist asses out of there before I come back with a baseball bat and a can of kerosene.
Better luck next time,
Rodney Anonymous
PS. By "Better luck next time", I of course mean "You belong in the outhouse, not the White House, dipshit."
I have seen some messed up unpatriotic bullshit in my life, but nothing comes close to Mike "a man named Jed" Huckabee's recent comment that the Constitution should be amended to bring it more in line with the Bible
Here's Dumbfuckabee attempting to clarify:
"People sometimes say we shouldn't have a human life amendment or a marriage amendment because the Constitution is far too sacred to change, and my point is, the Constitution was created as a document that could be changed. That's the genius of it. The Bible, however, was not created to be amended and altered with each passing culture."
You'd think that a guy with a degree in Theology might know that the Bible has undergone countless revisions. Shit Luther, you'd also think that if the Constitution was meant to be more in line with the Bible, our Founding Fathers would've written it that way.
The whole history of these books [the Gospels] is so defective and doubtful that it seems vain to attempt minute enquiry into it: and such tricks have been played with their text, and with the texts of other books relating to them, that we have a right, from that cause, to entertain much doubt what parts of them are genuine. In the New Testament there is internal evidence that parts of it have proceeded from an extraordinary man; and that other parts are of the fabric of very inferior minds. It is as easy to separate those parts, as to pick out diamonds from dunghills.-Thomas Jefferson
OK, I'm pissed off; you're pissed off; we're all pissed off. But what can we do? Two words: Ayatollah Huckabee.
All we need to do is use the words "Ayatollah Huckabee" in causal conversation, or when posting in message boards. See if you can email Keith Olberman and get him to say it. It might be fun to make a few Ayatollah Huckabee stickers (feel free to use the graphic above) and plaster your city with them (Bonus points for anyone living in the South). Don't just sit there, get up and do something! Yes, I know I'm rambling, but I plan to make this my personal crusade. I won't stop until someone publicly addresses Mike Huckabee as "Ayatollah".
Aid or Invade XXXV has been published/posted, and while I don't like to toot my own horn (Unless it's late at night and I'm watching Cinemax), I think this is one of the better ones. After you're done perusing it, you might want to check out this map; it shows the states relative to the GDP's of other countries. PA = The Netherlands. I guess that makes Philly Amsterdam.
Congratulations to the twisted geniuses behind Oxygen's Bad Girls Club 2 for giving us something that no other reality show has ever managed to produce: a monster.
Yes, there have been plenty of "un-scripted television" villains who have graced the small screen: Castaway Machiavellian Richard Hatch, Agrippina wannabe New York, and professional dream-crusher Simon Cowell are the first examples that leap to mind. But BGC 2's Tanisha is a monster. The difference being that villains are intrinsically evil, while monsters are neither good nor evil in much the same way cancer cells are neither good nor evil. So Tanisha is a monster in the truest, Homeric, sense of the word: a mindless, shambling beast, prowling along some desolate ancient coastline, shouting, "Pop off!" and hurling boulders at passing triremes. Charybdis and Scylla didn't have anything personal against all those sailors they killed, just as the Minotaur didn't eat all of those young people because it was conflicted: it was just doing what Minotaurs do. Hell, the Frankenstein monster just wanted to see if that little girl would float (An interesting parallel: both the Frankenstein monster and Tanisha speak a broken, monosyllabic variant of English).
"During the Senate debate on the intervention in Iraq, Sen. Clinton made considerable use of her background and "experience" to argue that, yes, Saddam Hussein was indeed a threat."
- Christopher Hitchens from The
Case Against Hillary Clinton
Our story so far: Blair's 2007 Xmas E-Letter had transformed into an excuse for her husband, Steve, to abdicate his role as bread (of life) winner to a dead Jewish carpenter (what a mukna) while son Tucker informed us that if he did not receive the generous offering of
a Fender Jazzmaster, God would be "calling him home". This time we'll be hearing from Blair's daughters Haven and Clancy. The good news is that we're almost finished. The bad news is that I've already read this, so I know it's going to hurt...
Haven - This last year has been a turning point in my life. Coming out of
2006's tremendously difficult school year, I realized something more important and life-changing than any grade. After failing my first English essay and being completely humiliated, I realized in my time of struggle that reaching the end of myself is not a bad place to be. I learned that God sometimes humbles us so that we recognize our need for Him. Now, I'd like to say that I never stress over school anymore, but that isn't the case. Yet, now when I am on the verge of panic and insecurity, I remember that my identity is as a child of God and I call on Him to help me in my weakness. I'd rather be a humble servant, than even an honor student.
Chin up, little buckaroo. Personally, I thought that your essay "How Jesus Won the American Revolution, Discovered Penicillin, and Taught Bears Agriculture" was, if not what one might call "historically accurate", a spirited read. By which I mean it didn't stand a ghost of a chance of even getting a D-.
Clancy - In 2006, God answered my prayer and gave me a friend! But then God (through my mom) started telling me to pray for more friends. "Why? I already have one. I'm fine with that. I mean, it's better than just having a mom and a dog! Besides, I'm content with what I already have." (Which was just my Biblical-sounding excuse for not obeying.) I'm still waiting for Him to answer. But I know that no matter how empty my Events Planner is that God is always with me. Plus, there's that added bonus of Him giving me the best friend EVER, Hailey. (You thought I was going to say Jesus, didn't you. He's pretty awesome, too.)
Sweet Mother of Mithras, that's just a few dead bodies short of being the plot of May. Is it possible that all of the parents in the neighborhood have warned their children to stay away from the "Ol' Whelchel place"?
Then Blair says some more apeshit Jesusy stuff before wrapping the whole thing up with this gem...
(By the way, and this has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas or the point of this letter, but I just have to say it anyway. It is my personal opinion that if carbohydrates were so evil then Jesus would not refer to Himself as the Bread of Life!)
P.S. – I've posted all of my old E-letters and Christmas letters on my website so if you've missed any, especially last year's Christmas letter to which I've referred, you can click here and celebrate Christmas for a few more minutes.
P.P.S – I've also announced the next book we will be reading in "The MomTime
Book Club" so if you're interested in joining the discussion then please drop on by.
Oddly, the last "MomTime Book Club" book was "Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible: Exploring Women of Questionable Virtue" the title stuck in my head because Chris Hitchens mentioned ordering, in a piece he wrote for Slate, from the creepy website of the even creepier church Barack Obama belongs to.
"When the Western Standard magazine printed the Danish cartoons of Mohammed two years ago, I was the publisher. It was the proudest moment of my public life. I would do it again today. In fact, I did do it again today." - Ezra Levant, defending himself in Canadian court, against charges abusing the human rights of Muslims.
"When psychologists say 'most people' they usually mean 'most of the two dozen sophomores who filled out a questionnaire for beer money.'" - Steven Pinker from The Moral Instinct (Which I highly recommend that you read)
Our story so far: Blair has outsourced chunks of her Xmas 2007 E-letter to her family. Nothing you ever witnessed on Reading Rainbow can prepare for what follows...
Steve - In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus teaches us to pray, "Give us this day our daily bread." I think I finally get why He said that. God wants us to depend on Him moment-by-moment. Between our ongoing financial foibles and Lisa not signing another book contract, we have had to trust Him on this one. Honestly, I would much rather live independently. In 2007, I've learned that eating multiple smaller meals with Jesus is healthier and more enjoyable than expecting a feast to sustain our tomorrows.
Listen up you broke-ass bitches, 'cuz I'm only going to say this once: STOP RELYING ON A INVISABLE MAN TO PAY YOUR BILLS. Fuck, if I counted on the Tooth Fairy to pay my goddamn cable bill, I'd never get to watch JDMA
Tucker - I've been putting off writing this for days now and I guess I'm just going to have to do this. It might look strange if there was a paragraph from my sisters but none from me. So what's new this year? I've been in and out of the same relationship for about a year now but I guess that just comes with the territory. Still working out how to really walk with God and not just stumble along bumping into things and constantly falling down. Still playing music in my spare time. As a matter of fact if anyone owns a Fender Jazzmaster and feels the need to give it to me. Actually, I was talking to God last night and he told me to tell you to give it to me.
Wow, you've been in the same relationship for about a year now . So, what's his name? I don't have a Fender Jazzmaster, but I think my friend Joe might have a spare one lying around someplace. Of course, you'd need to sand off the swastika and beer and blood stains.
Well, that's all from the "men" in Blair's life. Next time we'll hear from Haven and Clancy. And then we'll hug and weep openly.
Hey there Facts of Cellulite fans, Lisa "Blair" Whelchel's Xmas 2007 E-letter found its way into my inbox (and my heart) on Friday night, and the Lord (of the Pit) is compelling me to share it with you. I don't want to give anything away, but it becomes apparent pretty early on that Blair is off her meds. Enjoy and remember to remain seated until the E-letter comes to a complete stop:
Christmas 2007 E-letter
(Sorry this is so late but, heck, we still have our Christmas tree up! I think that is my subconscious believing that it should be Christmas all through the year. Hope your holiday was happy and your New Year full of hope.)
We're one paragraph in and Blair's already off to a bad start. "Christmas all through the year"? Mike "Hee Haw" Huckabee ought to use that as his campaign slogan.
Christmas 2007
Dear Friend,
[Bullshit deleted]
This past summer, our whole family took a pilgrimage to Israel to tour the Holy Land. We had an incredible guide who was passionately in love with the "God of Details." He taught us to ask questions and dig deep for multi-layers of treasures hidden everywhere in the Scriptures. One of the unearthed gems was the revelation that the translation of the name "Bethlehem" is "House of Bread." What a coincidence!
I hate to raise the ugly specter of "Jerusalem Syndrome", but when you consider that David Koresh returned from Israel convinced that he was the Messiah, it might be for the best if we all kept an eye on Blair for a while, least she pronounce herself the living incarnation of the Whore of Babylon. Come to think of it, Bush just spent this week visiting Israel. Fuck it; we've been calling him "Nimrod" for years.
"Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life, whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.'" - John 6:35
"Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood." - H. L. Mencken
If you took the time to read our annual family report last year before harvesting the picture and tossing the envelope with the letter still inside, then you will recall that we decided to be a little more real about what 2006 looked like for the Cauble family. In this year's letter, I've asked each member of our family to write their own synopsis of how Jesus entered the emptiness as Savior in 2006 and filled it as the Bread of Life in 2007.
"... harvesting the picture and tossing the envelope with the letter still inside..." Shit Luther, Blair has a really jaundiced view of her fans. Maybe that's part of being "a little more real". By the way Blair, you might want to cut back on those second helpings of the "Bread of Life"
Lisa - In 2006, my publisher was sold to another one and the new company was not thrilled with the acquisition of Lisa Whelchel and the less-than-stellar sales of her most recent book release. I felt unwanted, embarrassed, burned-out, and empty.
In 2007, the Bread of Life said, "I want you, I accept you, be still and let me fill you." So I have entered a yearlong sabbatical from writing. I have slowed way down from the busyness and driveness and striving for "success", and I'm happier than I've ever been, concentrating on "being" rather than "doing". This slower pace has most definitely revealed a soul-hole that I've attempted to fill and bury with distractions, but the more I do nothing the more emptiness Jesus fills with His self-rising Bread.
"I want you, I accept you, be still and let me fill you." Fuckin' priceless! So is "soul-hole". And Jesus' "self-rising Bread" isn't exactly free of Freudian connotations either. "I want you; I accept you; be still and let me fill your soul-hole with my self-rising Bread." Stick that in a book, Blair, and you might sell a few copies.
Next time, Blair's husband, Steve, and her kids chime in. My advice: stock up on anti-depressants, folks.
"Satura quidem tota nostra est" ("At least satire is completely ours") - Quintilian
Two weeks? Has it really been nearly two weeks since I last posted anything on this cesspool of narcissism? Well, I did have a bad cold, and I was busy getting ready for a job interview (if you people would just make a concerted effort to force "Neanderthink" into the lexicon, I wouldn't have to work, and I could devote all of my time to this site); oh, and there was that "post war" I had with Brian Hickey on the City Paper site.
Anyway, I'm back and I should be posting on a semi-daily basis for a while.
Yesterday afternoon Vienna and I lay in bed (I was still hung over from my visit to Fast, Cheap and Out of Control on Sunday night and she was wearing her Vladimir Putin pajamas) and watched Steven Pinker, author of The Stuff of Thought: Language as a Window into Human Nature talk about "taboo words" on Book TV (you can catch the entire lecture here). It seems that a good argument can be made for taboo words triggering a response in an early-mammalian portion of our brains. In other words, mammals evolved a process by which they would emit a harsh vocalization (think stepping on a cat's tail - let that remain a thought experiment) when harmed or threatened and a few million years later we humans let loose a torrent of obscenities whenever we hit our thumbs with a hammer. By the way, it seems that taboo words come in categories and sub-categories such as Supernatural (Oh Christ! Goddamn! Damn it!); Excretory/Urinary (Shit! Piss! Asshole!); Members of "Outsider Groups" (Nigger! Kike! Spick! Honky! Wog!); and, of course, Sexual (Fuck! [Masturbatory (Jerk Off! Wanker!)] [Incest (Motherfucker!)] [Bestiality (Kiss the Cunt of a Cow!- that's from the sixteenth century, just in case you wondered)])
How deep-seated are taboo words in the human brain? Here's a little experiment
(It's highly likely that you've seen the first two parts before); Say aloud
the color each of the following words appears in:
Now do the same for these words:
Not as easy as you thought it would be, eh? OK, try these (remember, just say the
color each appears in):
Almost as tough as the last batch, huh? Thanks to Michelle Malkin for that last one
All that aside, one of the best moments of Pinker's lecture had to be his comments about Bono running afoul with the FCC for saying "Fookin' brilliant" upon receiving a Grammy. It seems that the FCC was unable to fine Bono because he had used the word as an interjection. Congress (a homonym of which is a taboo word and who had allocated the funds for CPSAN 2 on which Book TV airs) acted quickly in order to protect Americans from the threat of foulmouthed Irish Rockers and attempted to amend the FCC's rulebook via the following section of the Clean Airwaves Act
"...the words "shit", "piss", "fuck", "cunt", "asshole", and the phrases "cock sucker", "mother fucker", and "ass hole", compound use (including hyphenated compounds) of such words and phrases with each other or with other words or phrases, and other grammatical forms of such words and phrases (including verb, adjective, gerund, participle, and infinitive forms)."