Thoughtless for the Day

Sorry about the delay in posts, but the latest issues of Biblical Archaeology Review found its way through my mail slot once more (that sounds somewhat ribald) and I've been busy thinking up captions for their monthly contest. This was the best I could do:

I have to admit that I was tempted to go with "OK, now are you going to tell me which one of you took a shit in the Ark of the Covenant?"

Moving right along...

When last we worked on out tiny plastic Roman soldiers, we were just starting to pint them, which means it's time for another bit of sage-like wisdom: after you do your semi-sloppy initial painting, treat each of your soldiers individually. In other words, work on your soldiers one-at-a-time, not as group. I can't explain why this technique works, but it just does. Trust me; you'll get better results

Once you've finished with all of your touch-up painting (an there will be a lot of touch up painting), let your soldiers sit for twenty-four hours (that's becoming a mantra) before getting a wide piece of tape and taping it sticky-side-up to a piece of cardboard. Now stick your soldiers onto the tape.

Once you've secured them, walk 'em outside and spray them with gloss cote (make sure that you check the can because spraying them with white primer will make your soldiers angry). Now, so they don't scatter about; mount them (huh huh) on a piece of balsa wood (in retrospect, I shouldn't have gone with the bright green "grass" as it makes my soldiers look like they're marching on Astroturf)

Repeat this process a dozen times and you'll have about a little over half of a cohort. If you'll want an entire legion, you'll have to paint approximately five thousand figures. After about two years, you should have gotten about this far: