Thoughtless for the Day

At the risk of forever being known as "Ol' Man Anonymous", I'd just like to point out that I was shocked and horrified when I walked into Best Buy today (most of the shocking and horrific events in my life have occurred at Best Buy) and became aware of the existence of the Sex Pistols faceplate for the "Les Paul" model controller used to play Guitar Hero. I mean, it's not like the Pistols were the calculated product of a Capitalist Svengali or anything, but I have to wonder if any of the parents who'll be staying up late on Christmas Eve wrapping up one these faceplates for little Waldo have any idea that Sid Vicious murdered his girlfriend or, for that matter just who Sid Vicious was. Because, if they don't, then someone has managed to do the impossible: make the Sex Pistols "safe".

And that's what's so depressing, you see, no matter how many times Johnny Rotten might appear on the Tonight Show hurling questions at Presidential candidates, they will always have a special place in my heart. Some of youngsters reading this (or, more likely, having an older person read it to you as you smoke LSD while playing Super Mario Brothers and Donkey Pong) might not believe it, but the Pistols were once considered "dangerous", "unruly", and "relevant". What's next? Combichrist brand infant formula? The only way the Pistols can regain their mantle of social undesirability is if some parental organization gets all "who will think of the children? For God's sake, won't someone think of the children" over the Pistols faceplates and organizes a boycott. And even in today's "Is that wanton Jezebel showing her ankle???" climate I'm afraid that's just not going to happen.

Unless...

Dear CWFA, I thought it was my duty as both a Christian, and the parent of three beautiful children (Ezekiel, age 4; Bathsheba, age 6; and Nimrod, age 2 ½) to inform you that the makers of the popular video game Guitar Hero are marketing "faceplates" to young people which promote the "Punk Rock" band known as the S*x Pistols: The very same band that began one of their "songs" with the words "I am an antichrist!" Needless to say, I hardly consider any group that would invoke the name of the Beast to be "Heroes" (Guitar or otherwise) for our children!

Unfortunately, I do not have the resources to organize either a boycott, a letter-writing campaign, or a 10K "Fun Run" to fight this menace, so I'm pleading with you to bring this matter to the attention of parents everywhere in the United States (I'm afraid it's too late for Europe).

May the loving God of Abraham smite the unworthy down to the fourth generation,

Jerry Fongowski

Speaking of kids today, my friends John and Lance have taken on the Herculean task of collecting all of our childhood fears in one place. Be sure to check it out.

Title of this piece clarified here