Thoughtless for the Day

On Tuesday I came across a
brilliant (and long overdue) editorial by Dr.
Eric H. Cline on the Archaeology
website. Basically, the gist of Dr. Cline's piece is that we really
need to purge Biblical Archaeology of the knobnuts and smegtards who have been polluting
the field: people like former SWAT team member turned Noah's Ark hunter Bob
Cornuke and part-time in parapsychologist and Garden of Eden enthusiast Michael
Sanders. I couldn't agree more. But what really caught
my eye was the following paragraph:

And we must not forget documentary filmmaker Simcha Jacobovici. He bills himself as "The Naked Archeologist" in a television series on the History Channel, but has repeatedly stated during media interviews that he is an investigative journalist rather than an archeologist. Jacobovici is perhaps best known for "The Lost Tomb of Jesus," which first aired in March 2007 and which has been described by professor Jodi Magness of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill as making "a sensationalistic claim without any scientific basis or support."

Jesus H. Yahweh, I freakin' knew it! I was wise to this Grand Marshal of the Assface Parade
from the first time I tuned in to his crappy little show. I don't know if any of you have ever seen
an episode of "The Naked Archaeologist", but if you have then you know
that calling Simcha Jacobovici a "Biblical Literalist" is like calling
Christopher Hitchens "a bit of a polemicist". Simcha is true believer: which he to say that he tries to make the evidence fit the Bible.

"From a historical aspect, I take the Bible as history, unless someone demonstrates it's not. I have no reason to believe the stories in the Bible didn't happen. If you don't think it's true, prove it!"

- Simcha Jacobovici

Now re-read the quote above substituting "The Iliad", "The Color
Purple", "Harry Potter and the Used Clotter*", or " Horny Firemen in Heat" for "the
Bible" and you'll see why Simcha could also bill himself as "The Naked
Proctologist"

If Simcha Jacoffobovici and all of those other "amateur archaeologists"
out there really want to help out, they should do what I do and keep the
fuck out of the way and let the professionals do their
work. Seriously, I'm easily as qualified Cornuke, Sanders, Jacobovici, Nash, and Young
to go digging out in the "Holy Land" but I limit my involvement
to the occasionally posting comments on message boards like "A
wig??? That's your freakin' 'evidence' that you've
found the mummy of Nefertiti??? Paint Huffin' Whore = you".

* This joke is solely for the enjoyment of RATYHTL's Jamaican reader(s)