Thoughtless for the Day

I thought it might be best to start of the New Year by handing out some toys. Below you'll find some images that you can download, print, fold and carry in your wallet or purse, or hide up your ass when the Feds come to ship you off to Gitmo. First there's everybody's favorite, the Treaty of Tripoli. Signed into law in 1797 by Founding Father John Adams, this document kicks off with "As the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion".

If you want to have some real fun with this one, wait until some Hee Haw Jazeera stooge starts going off about how America is a Christian country (With congressman Keith Ellison about to take the Oath of Office with his hand on a copy of the Koran, there should be plenty of these Christ-O-Tards around). Once Bumfuck Daniel Webster has finished his rant, say something like "You know the great thing about you Reactionaries is that you believe what you believe no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary. I have to really admire that. I'm mean, let's say that I could magically produce a document written by... oh, let's say James Madison and signed by ...oh, John Adams which clearly states that the US was NOT founded on Christianity, you'd still go on believing what you believe." Wait for the inevitable "Well, there ain't no such document" and the whip it out.

Up next we have our ol' (butt) buddies Saints Serge and Bacchus. You might remember them from my review of John Boswell's Same-Sex Unions In Premodern Europe. I've found these two to be a highly effective weapon against Homo-haters: particularly Catholic Homo-haters.

Let your mark bitch about how civil unions are now legal in New Jersey (yeah, like millions of Gays are gonna flock to a place where the state bird is Bon Jovi's middle finger*), then causally mention that, for roughly three hundred years, the Church had a ceremony for marrying same-sex couples. If William "The ice cream's in the freezer - right under the money" Jefferson tries to call "Bullshit", sink his battleshit with a blast of Serge and Bacchus: then, just for good measure, toss in the fact that the state with the < a href="http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0923080.html">lowest divorce rate is Massachusetts.

Finally, there's the following chart, a larger version of which was posted a while back, which disputes the claim that the more "Godly" a country is, the safer its residents will be.

* "New Jersey is like a beer barrel, tapped at both ends, with all the live beer running into Philadelphia and New York." - Ben Franklin