What's a "Tunisian Beef Squeegee"?
100% true story: I swear by all that is Charles Nelson Reilly.
On Thursday night Vienna and I went to see Amnesia Curiosa which was presented less then a block away* from our home at the Pennsylvania Hospital in an old operating theater (yes, just like the ones in the Frankenstein movies).
For reasons involving my wife's unwillingness to push past the elderly and infirm, Vienna and I ended up being seated in the rafters of the amphitheatre (if you click on the link above, you'll get to experience our exact view). Eventully, we settled in and that's when I looked ten feet to my right and discovered that we were sharing the rafters with Marty Moss-Coane, host of WHYY's Radio Times. [For the record: Marty seemed to love the show and was incredibly nice when I caught up with her later and told her how much I love here radio show]
Now, here's comes the weird part.
As it was just beginning to sink in that I was sitting only a few feet away from a local celebrity, my eyes found there way to a group of reserved seats, just off the floor, about twenty feet below me. There, being ushered into her seat, was none other than living mummy Suzanne Roberts. Yes, the same Suzanne Roberts who has been savagely mocked on this very website. Vienna must've spotted her at the exact same moment I did because I suddenly felt her squeeze my arm and whisper "Holy shit! She's even scarier in real life than she is on TV." [For the record: It was impossible to tell whether or not Suzanne enjoyed the show as her face remained an immovable mask throughout the performance] Later, at home, we had a great time coming up with Suzanne-isms like "What's a Taiwanese Pudding Poker?" If you'd like to create your own Suzanne-isms, simply combine any nationality, food item, and any household object; then phrase that combo in the form of a question. Example: "What's a Norwegian Taco Hammer?" By the way, if you have no idea what a blumpie is, you're a lot better off not knowing. In this case, ignorance is not only bliss, it's nirvana. But, if you really need to know, click here and scroll down. And may the Lord have mercy on your soul.
OK, moving on to more serious topics (which, considering the above, could be just about anything).
As you may have heard, here in PA, the Democrats have been up to some dirty tricks with the petitions of our US Senate candidate Carl Romanelli.[Carl was recently attacked on the air by talking-turd Al Franken] I've been meaning to write about this for sometime now. Fortunately, my good friend (and former Congressional candidate) Chris Randolph has done a better job in a recent email than I ever could have:
Heavy-hearted greetings from Democracytown -
What follows is the 'party of the people' in action in PA in 2006. Note that when
George W. Bush's people failed to file their paperwork on time to appear on the ballot at all in Illinois & Florida in 2004. Consider that for a second, Bush would have been a write-in candidate (!) in two of the biggest states in the country if the law were obeyed! EVERY Bush vote in those states would have to be handcounted and subject to review /dismissal for the slightest deviation or difficulty in reading (as Nader votes were in PA, despite the fact his paperwork was in order and 50x the signatures were required to put him on the ballot)! Many Bush-inclined voters wouldn't have bothered. Throw FL in the Kerry column and he wins. Force the GOP to either abandon IL or put a huge amount of resources into just figuring out how to explain to people how to write-in votes and they get bogged down & the Dems have extra resources for other states. (Not that I think this would have made things perceivably better but most of you did. In fact you should be more upset about this than me logically if you did advocate voting for Kerry...).
So the Dems hopped into action; in IL the gov. (Dem) & state assembly (Dem controlled) passed a special law retroactively placing Bush/Cheney and the rest of the IL slate on the ballot. Hard to believe but true.
In FL the Reps were in control, so they simply ignored the law and put Bush on the ballot even though he filed past the the deadline. The Dems in FL or for that matter nationally just let that pass, Not a peep of protest, not a court case, nothin'.
In PA in 2006 the Greens have surpassed all (including my own) expectations and managed to get over 90,000 signatures of registered PA voters in an unprecedented herculian effort to put their candidates on the ballot against the state slate of Dem right-wingers. The same Democratic Party that helped the GOP on the ballot in 2004 is now challenging every signature in the manner described below... not on the basis of whether or not the person is a registered voter, but ... well, read on to see how. Sickening, really. Simply sending people to Harrisburg every day to complete the review is bankrupting the Greens, and keeping them from doing any further campaigning. This is a BS Third World tinpot tactic.
So that's your Demorcratic Party. Lambs to the avowed party of the rich and warfare with a bit more money than they have, lions against true liberal activists with a peace and justice platform and not much cash at all. This should open up some interesting questions about who the party is really afraid of, who they really need and why. Obviously it's been my opinion that the party has been the graveyard of every social justice movement worth anything the past few deacdes and that continuing to support them will never result in progress.
They're rotten from the top down, and not a one of them gets a vote of mine this year, not if I have to write in everyone (myself included). Read on if you dare...
Forward from the state delegate listserv.
Subject: [gppa-delegates-discuss] thoughts
Date: Tue, 5 Sep 2006 18:25:36 -0400
For the past few weeks a team of Democrats paired with a team of Greens have been up in a conference room in the capitol complex every work day, reviewing the signatures collected to place Green Party US Senate candidate Carl Romanelli on the ballot this November, which Democrats have challenged, in a court-ordered attempt to determine whether Mr. Romanelli has the needed number (67,070) of valid signatures. The outcome of this review and the court case of which it is part could represent a deciding factor in the outcome of this year's Senate race, fear of which is the motive behind the Democrats' challenge.
If one had read half the Democrats' press releases accusing the Greens of forgery and fraud and invalid signatures, one might be inclined to think that the nature of the review was to eliminate any fraudulent or invalid signatures from the nomination papers. In other words to consider whether each signer was an unique and legitimate registered PA voter or qualified elector or not. But if you thought that you would be wrong. The real purpose of the Democrats is to eliminate by whatever means possible as many signatures as they can to try to remove Mr. Romanelli's name from the ballot and limit voters' choices.
As Mr. Gallagher, the Democrats' attorney in the room, said on more than one occasion today in reference to various signatures they "invalidated", they "don't doubt that [Person X] is a valid registered voter who signed with intent" to support Mr. Romanelli, but "that is not our responsibility". No, his responsibility as directed by his party is screen out signatures on any technicality. They openly admit that they don't care about whether the person was a legitimate registered voter and signed the form, but rather in using the letter of the law wherever they can to disenfranchise the political rights of those who signed Mr. Romanelli's nomination papers. Consider some of these instances of signatures of valid registered voters that the Democrats are invalidating.
* If a signature is challenged and for whatever reason that person's signature is not on file in the PA SURE electronic database, they are summarily invalidated, regardless of whether the are a registered PA voter and all the information on the nomination paper is correct.
* If a signer leaves out a middle initial or signs with a modified form of their name, the Democrats are often invalidating their signatures. Consider the case of Mary Colleen Mullen who signed as Colleen Mullen. Right address. Signature is unmistakably in her handwriting, but by leaving off her first name she allowed the Democrats to disenfranchise her political voice.
* Similarly persons with hyphenated surnames who sign with only one of their two surnames are summarily invalidated simply for the common practice of not signing with both surnames, even if it is clearly the right person based on address and handwriting.
* If the person is found as a registered voter, but has moved so that their current address no longer matches they are being invalidated, even when it is clear by the uniqueness of the name and matching handwriting in the signature that the person is a registered voter in the county.
* If the address has even minor errors, signatures are being invalidated. BCEL instructions were that signers of the nomination papers needed to put their political municipality on the sheet, which for many people differs from their postal city or boro. Now those who followed the directions are being invalidated because the SURE system contains their mailing address. Signers who may have inadvertently switched digits in their house number are likewise being struck.
* Ironically, in some cases the Democrats have invalidated signatures of locally-prominent members of their own party who have signed the Green Party nomination papers!
Anecdotally it appears that well over half of the Democrats challenges of alleged irregularities are disqualifications of legitimate good faith voters' signatures made on technical grounds and that if this were not the case Mr. Romanelli would easily have far more than sufficient signatures to remain on the ballot.
What the Democrats are doing isn't right. It is anti-democratic. It uses the fine letter of the law to pervert the intent, to defame the Green Party, to deny political franchise to those registered voters who signed the Green Party nomination papers in good faith but whose information has minor discrepancies from what is listed in the SURE database for various reasons including most notably clerical error on the part of local election registrars, and to deny Pennsylvania voters more choices on the ballot. Is that how you want your elections determined?
Blyden Potts
Shippensburg, PA 17257
Blyden4@comcast.net
tamen - nevertheless
pattaloj - peg
kya apko yad hai ki apne kya piya kal rat ko? - Do you remember what you drank last night?
*Funniest Joke EVAR!: Two cops are on patrol in Las Vegas when they spot Mike Tyson beating the Hell out of Jackie Mason. Not wanting to get their ears bitten off, the policemen approach carefully and ask Mr. Tyson for the why he is pounding the comedian into a bloody pulp. "Because," replies Mr. Tyson "he called me a Black bastard!"
"Jackie, is this true?" ask the police.
"No." says Jackie Mason. "He asked me where the Sands hotel was, and I said 'You're a block past it'."