Thoughtless for the Day

Congratulations on your victory in the Florida Republican Primary. May I suggest that you celebrate with a steaming bowl of shut-the-fuck-up and a delicious side order of and-never-open-your-goddamn-mouth-again-you-walking-shit-heap?

Yes, we all know that the campaign trail was a little bumpy at times. Just ask your staff: over a dozen of whom have quit in the last year, many claiming that you were abusive to your underlings*. And should you feel bad about those former staffers' charges that you were emotionally unstable, I'm sure that your campaign manger will stick up for you. Um, you're on your fourth one, right?

Well, my point is that you still have friends. Take your good buddy Mitchell Wade who believed in you enough to front you $32,000 in illegal campaign contributions.

And then came that interview with the Florida Baptist Witness. The one in which you said...

If you are not electing Christians, tried and true, under public scrutiny and pressure, if you're not electing Christians then in essence you are going to legislate sin. They can legislate sin. They can say that abortion is alright. They can vote to sustain gay marriage. And that will take western civilization, indeed other nations because people look to our country as one nation as under God and whenever we legislate sin and we say abortion is permissible and we say gay unions are permissible, then average citizens who are not Christians, because they don't know better, we are leading them astray and it's wrong.

Like I said, it's been a bumpy road, but we all wish you the best of luck in November...

...you batshit-crazy, baboon-blowing, turd-smoking, amoeba-molesting bitch.

* Here are a few gems from recent pieces in The Palm Beach Post:

...for those travel aides, a top priority was to get her Starbucks coffee, no matter where she was campaigning, "and God help him if it wasn't hot," an aide said. Several aides said Harris was so obsessed with Starbucks coffee she insisted that Starbucks locations be mapped out when she was traveling from one campaign stop to another. One aide recalled going to Harris' house for a day of fund-raising calls without bringing her a cup of Starbucks. The aide said Harris made it clear that it was expected he bring her a coffee when coming to her house.

...Harris also routinely belittled the efforts of her press aides and speech writers, saying their writing was "the worst she had ever seen," and spending hours rewriting their work, one aide said. Once, her staff took a speech Harris had rewritten, saved it for about two months, and then gave it back to her as a proposed speech. Harris called it "terrible."

... When the staff informed her she had written it, she said, "I guess I had a bad day." Harris, 49, frequently wore tight-fitting outfits, low-cut tops or short skirts that several aides said they considered inappropriate for a middle-aged Senate candidate. At least one aide went shopping with Harris to help her find more suitable clothing, but there was little change in her apparel. Even when the press noted her sexy outfits, such as when she wore a form-fitting hot pink shirt while riding a horse at the Arcadia rodeo, Harris found it amusing, the aides said.