Thoughtless for the Day

As should be expected, my inner-Green often wars with my inner-Libertarian. Case-in-point: Ma and Pa stores (or, for those of you residing in Utah, Ma and Ma and Ma and Pa stores). My inner-Green tells me that these stores are good for the local economy, as they tend to not pack up in the middle of the night and shift their operations to Mexico (shit Luther, I. Goldberg* sat in the same spot for nearly a century; and when they were finally forced to move, they relocated four blocks away). My inner-Libertarian tells me that, under their sweet, wrinkly exteriors, both Ma and Pa are a pair of evil dicks.

Let me put that another way: If the president of Whole Foods and his wife are attacked by rabid wolverines and never heard from again, life goes on (OK, maybe not for Mr. & Mrs. Whole Foods, but fuck them: $21.95 for two gallons of orange juice and some muffins?): by which I mean that I can still stroll down to 10th and South and get my chowdown on. If Ma and Pa Cornerstore decide to attend an Smelly Elderly Bastards Convention in Sarasota, I either have to spend a week not eating or walk seven extra blocks to get to one of the few Ma and Pa stores that does not have my picture with the words "Do NOT sell this man beer" scrawled under it in red marker taped up behind the counter (I went through a rather rocky phase during my twenties...and again in my mid-thirties...oh, and shortly after I turned forty I was diagnosed as being "Clinically Batshit".).

Would you go to a Ma and Pa hospital? Can you imagine yourself ever saying, "Call the Ma and Pa fire brigade. Sure they'll take longer to get here, but they're good for the local economy"? Hell no!

*Mel Gibson once claimed that the Goldberg family was responsible for every surplus war supply ever sold