Thoughtless for the Day

If you just tuned in, we're recapping the idiocy that was the last few weeks. Yesterday we looked at the bad news; today we've managed to scrape up some bits of good news:

America Saved By One Vote

Had the Senate voted 67-33 to approve the proposal to amend the Constitution to ban flag desecration, I would be spending today burning American flags.

Don't get me wrong, I think that damaging an American flag is one of the most disgusting things a citizen of this (or any other, for that matter) country can do (second only to helping to finance the career of Adam Sandler): that's exactly why we must protect our right burn, trample, or wipe our asses with Ol' Glory. If we only protect popular speech, we might as well hang up a sign that reads "America: Where Kittens Are Adorable, And Where Anyone Who Doesn't Think So Is Going To Jail." It's a simple concept; yet the country seems to be filled with knuckle-dragging morons who can't seem to wrap their tiny, Adam Sandler addled minds around the idea. If these idiots want to live in a country where it's illegal to burn the flag, they should shut the Hell up and move to either China or Cuba: where there are also plenty of hairy AIDS cocks for them to get fucked with.

Why am I so uber-angry with these assholes? Because they've forced me to say something nice about Senate's No. 2 Republican, Mitch McConnell of Kentucky (OK, technically Santorum is the "No. 2 Republican" because he's full of shit) who had the balls to say "I think the First Amendment has served us well for over 200 years. I don't think it needs to be altered."

Supreme Court Tells Bush to Go Fuck Himself (Hairy AIDS Cock Sold Separately)

On Friday, the Supreme Court struck down the military commissions President Bush had established to try prisoners being held in Gitmo suspected of being members of terrorist organization and '70's Pop group al-Qaeda or of being comedy writers.
Writing for the majority, Justice Breyer wrote, "Where, as here, no emergency prevents consultation with Congress, judicial insistence upon that consultation does not weaken our Nation's ability to deal with danger. To the contrary, that insistence strengthens the Nation's ability to determine -- through democratic means -- how best to do so. The Constitution places its faith in those democratic means. Our Court today simply does the same."
The President had argued that he had been given the power to both detain and try the prisoners by both congress and "a magical fairy princess who lives inside a tree in the Rose Garden. When the Court rejected this argument, Bush countered with "9/11! 9/11! 9/11! Look over there, 9/11!"

Rush Limbaugh + Viagra + Dominican Republic = Hairy AIDS Cock)

It doesn't get much better than this. Ok, if the story would've involved Bill O'Reilly, a jar of KY Jelly, and a baboon (Female baboon, of course: nothing queer about ol' Bill), then it would've been better, but we'll take what we can get.

As you've probably heard, Rush Limbaugh was detained last week at Palm Beach Airport after returning from a vacation to the Dominican Republic when Customs officials found someone else's Viagra in Rush's luggage. The big question her is "What was Rush doing in the Dominican Republic that would've facilitated the need for Viagra?" Hey, I'm not in the business of spreading rumors about people I don't like: I am, however, in the business of linking to people who are in the business of spreading rumors about people I don't like.