Thoughtless for the Day

Ya' know, sometimes I actually feel kinda bad about picking on Blair. I mean, it's not like she's one of those Christians who spend their free time spreading the joyous news that God hates fags. In fact, apart from the occasional hot sauce incident or poop-filled brownie rant (they don't call 'em brownies for nuttin'), Blair actually rather harmless. Shit Luther, I'm even willing to wager that Blair's kids are a whole lot less fucked up than I was at their age (OK, Drew Barrymore was less screwed up at fourteen than I was). My point is that Blair isn't really a bad person. She's just trying to raise her family and help those around her the only way she knows. I guess the worst thing you could say about Blair is that she's more than a little misguided. We here at RATYHTL love you, Blair and we're very, very sorry that we've made fun of you in the past. We promise never to do it again. Please enjoy this picture of a sunrise.

OK. Did Blair's lawyer click off the site yet? Good. Now let's rip that crazy bitch a new asshole:

Blair's Hair Ensnares Unaware Prickly Bear

Come
See Me!

August 18-19
Tyler, TX- (MomTime Getaway)

August 25-26
Hattiesburg, MS

September 8-9
Lynchburg, VA

September 15-16
Edmond, OK

September 29-30
Monroe, MI
(MomTime Getaway)

For more information on times and locations click here!

I love summer! I love the opportunities it brings. Camps, long, lazy days, family vacations, and afternoons for cleaning out the garage and closets. Summer is the busiest time and the slowest time of the year for our family [OK, which is it? Is it your family's busiest time or is it your family's slowest time. Dickens could get away with "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times". I knew Charles Dickens; I worked with Charles Dickens. You, Senator, are no Charles Dickens!]. I like that. My children have attended quite a few different church camps this summer, either as campers or counselors [Blair should send her kids to this camp.]. While they are busy, I've been busy writing my new [S]crapbook Bible Study. Then there are days when we all sleep in, scrounge around in the fridge for food[I don't think Blair's been limiting her scrounging to just her 'frige. Looks like she's been dumpster diving and checking the traps out back as well.], tackle a summer project and then lay around on the Lazyboy couch watching the last season of "24" together. (All indoors, of course, since it is July in Texas! [Of course. Who the fuck drags their Lazyboy, tv, and DVD player outside?]) I sure hope you are finding a handful of days to get those summer projects finished and even more days doing absolutely! nothing. [And I sure hope that someday, Blair, you'll catch a fucking clue as to how the average person lives. My summer project is to stay employed and save up some money for when my contract ends in two years. This often means one or two sixteen-hour workdays a week.]

Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain[Whatever].

It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psalm 127:1-3 ESV) ["... children are a heritage from the LORD"? OK, maybe. The again, maybe not.]

While doing some research for the [S]crapbooking Bible Study I am writing, I discovered that in the original [Jewy] languages of the Bible, the idea of "family" is more often translated as "house" or "household." I was actually studying this passage in Psalms at the time, so I re-read these verses with this in mind. I was sorely convicted.

Now first, as a last-ditch attempt at rationalization and justification, let me just say that it is my opinion that "controlling women" get a bad rap [Hey, they used to get burned at the stake]. We control so much because we care so much! ["Sure I bitch, harp, and work your last nerve; but that's only because I love you"] And, if we don't take care of things, who will? Right? Well, not exactly. God cares so much, too. And, He's actually capable of really taking care of things. That's why this verse is such a comfort to me. ["Finish your meatloaf, Billy. God will put that fire out."]

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for intentional parenting, persevering prayer, and the blessed benefits of a good, long lecture [As well as the proven persuasive power of scratchy undergarments], but I'm also learning, and relearning, that the building up of my family is, ultimately, not going to be a result of my marvelous mothering [Blair, if your kids don't end up as a roving band of knife-wielding serial killers, it'll be in spite of your parenting and not because of it.]. Thankfully, by that same token, if I can't take the glory, I can't be burdened down by guilt when I'm a less than marvelous mother.(Like just last week when I really blew up and blew it.) [That's it? We never get to find out what set Blair off or the seedy details of her meltdown? Ripoff! Readers are strongly encouraged to send in their versions of Blair's Big Blow UP to this web site]

If my children grow up and choose to follow Jesus, it won't be because I woke up early every morning to pray for them, or stayed up late at night to provide a "perfect" home for them [Or because they suffered brain trauma.]. It is vanity to think that I can be a good enough mother to guarantee my family will stand strong in the midst of life's storms or a very attractive and alluring world.

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal something you are doing in your own strength for your family that is really more based in the idea of hard work than in peace-filled trust.[Bullshit. I'm asking the Holy Spirit for a pony. If He can't produce one by Thursday then He doesn't exist] Take a moment to "roll off this burden" onto the Lord. For me, I had to stop praying so much. I know that sounds heretical [Burn the heretic!], but I realized that every time I became anxious and fearful I prayed the same prayers over and over again. The Lord showed me that I was actually putting faith in my prayers rather than in His promise to hear my prayers and answer them - in His timing and in His way! What are you attempting to build in your own strength? [translation: Blair kept praying for something that didn't happen. Why didn't God grant her wishes? Because she kept bugging him with all of her prayers. What kind of shitty deity is that? "Yeah, I'll cure your cancer - when I'm good and ready, OK? Now, if you don't mind, I've got Angelina Jolie on the other line."]

I've been looking forward to this day for years - "< a href="http://www.creativecorrection.com/">Creative Correction" has been released in Spanish!!!!! [A brilliant marketing decision, as those Beaners are bound to have plenty of Tabasco sauce on hand.] I'm so excited. Beginning with this E-letter I've decided to combine the "Snippets and Smidgens" with the "E-letter Specials." And this month, I'm offering a crazy special![Yep, "crazy" pretty much sums it up.] Because I am so eager to get this resource into the Latin Community I'm offering this book, for this month only, for $5.00! [That's great news for members of MS13 who might've been worried that they'd have to "move some extra product" this month in order to afford a copy of Creative Correction] That is way less than we pay to buy it from the publisher but, hey, that's why they call it ministry, isn't it. So, if you know a Spanish-speaking family or congregation [No way. Those people give me the willies.]who could use some encouragement through practical discipline tips, then click on! the book for a description in Spanish and to receive this month's E-letter special.

Click on the book cover to find out more or Click Here!

A Bride Most Begrudging - I love to read and Christian fiction [Or as we Atheists like to call it: "The New Testament"] is my favorite. I was so delighted to discover a new author that I know you're going to adore. Her name is Deeann Gist [Actually, her name is Deeanne, with an "e" Gist] and I actually met her in Houston when I spoke at her church while we were traveling in the RV on the Family Dream. Deeann[e] received the very prestigious "Christy Award" [No, the award is not named after Agatha Christie. It's named after Christ, but with a "y" tacked on to make up for the "e' Blair left out of Deeanne] last week at the Christian Booksellers Convention.

www.spiritofelijiah.com [Actually, that's www.spiritofelijah.com. Problem dyslexia could have Blari? ] - I recently attended a workshop entitled, "Moms of Teenage Sons" by Norm Wakefield. It changed my life. I learned that I've been doing it all wrong these last couple of years with Tucker!. I really MUST stop treating him like he is still my little boy now that he is a young man! [You might also want to stop forcing him to wear that dress] If you have a son,10-years-old or older, I can't encourage you enough to click on this link, check out all of the amazing resources, but especially this particular message.

The Newsboys - Tucker is currently on tour as an assistant guitar tech/roadie/little buddy [/trim coordinator]for "The Newsboys." These guys really love the Lord![To paraphrase the great Pee Wee Herman: "Then why don't they marry Him? "Shine: The Hits" is a must own, but then again, so is "Adoration: The Worship Album." You may just have to buy both of them.[Yep, you'll need both: one to shit on and one to cover it up with. Shit Luther, are the Newsboys what you get when you play Cradle of Filth backwards?]

My Personal [S]crapbooks - As promised, I've uploaded some more of my personal scrapbook albums. If you are a [s]crapbooker, or simply enjoy looking through a friend's album, click on the link and check out my little darlings in my 1994/1995 Family album.[Oh great, I just puked on my keyboard]

If you have a friend who would enjoy receiving this E-letter click the follow link and we will forward it to them: Lower Right Under "Shoutbox"

Dear Lord, thank You for rest, physically during summer vacation, emotionally through the gift of peace, and spiritually knowing You are in control. Build up our families on the Rock-solid foundation of Your Son. I pray for each person reading this E-letter ["...and that you'll smite those whom mock it"] and I ask for times of refreshing in Your presence. Give them sweet sleep, fresh hope, and faith-filled strength. In Jesus [sic] name. Amen.

Lisa Whelchel - E-Letter

© 2006 Lisa Whelchel [addition text by Rodney Anonymous]