Thoughtless for the Day

Dear readers,
Please forgive Rodney for being absent yesterday. He was putting the finishing touches on the latest Aid or Invade.

- Epstein's mother

Every once-in-a-while some organization releases a study gauging the lack of knowledge of Americans on one subject or another. For as far back as I can remember, these studies have never been good news.

So, it is with a great sense of consistency (and with gritted teeth) that I bring you the results of the National Geographic-Roper Public Affairs 2006 Geographic Literacy Study. Of the 510 18 to 24 year-olds questioned…

60% could not find Iraq on a map of the Middle East.

Almost 75% wrongly named English as the most widely spoken native language.

30% thought the most heavily fortified border was between the United States and Mexico.

47% could not find the Indian subcontinent on a map of Asia.

Less than 30% think it's important to know the locations of countries in the news.

Only 14 % believe speaking another language is a necessary skill.

33% couldn't pinpoint Louisiana on a map.

Only 50% of the young men and 43% women could identify the states of New York or Ohio on a map.

88 % could not find Afghanistan on a map of Asia.

If you're like me (then you can walk into any book with your toy pal, Pokey, too) then your first reaction was probably to slap your forehead and say "What a bunch of fucking morons." And you're right: we are a bunch of fucking morons.

That's right; I said "we", not "they". These young people didn't get that stupid overnight. And they certainly didn't get that stupid by accident. A nation has to work really, really hard to produce an entire generation that, when shown a map of the world, immediately attempt to wipe their asses with it.

These kids might be a bunch of stupid little shits, but they're our stupid little shits and we've failed them miserably. We've let our public schools turn into diploma mills and allowed a society to bloom in which being wee-read is tantamount to being a child molester.

So while you're laughing at these ass-faced idiots, remember that when you and I are in the old folks home, these proto-humans will be charged with making sure we get the right doses of our medication.

We are fucking doomed.