Man-oh-mayonnaise, did you pick a good time to check this blog. Do you remember a when you were a kid and you'd send away for some Sea Monkeys or X-Ray Specs? Can you still recall the overwhelming sense of anticipation as, each day, you checked your mailbox? Well, that's how life has been for the past few days for RATYHTL's Man-on-the-street (and in the gutter) Jerry "Fongo" Fongowski as he constantly checked his email account for a reply to theletterhe recently sent to simple folk at Answers in Genesis.
Let the waiting end! I'm happy to announce that Fongo's sense of emotional constipation has been relieved by the soothing warm flow of the words you, gentle reader, are about to gently read:
Thank you for contacting Answers in Genesis. That's an interesting theory, do you have any evidence to back it up? [Um...I don't wanna bring the crowd at AiG down, but if I was running around telling people that the Earth is only 6,000 years old and humans coexisted with dinosaurs, I sure-as-shittin' wouldn't be staring any communication with the words "theory" and "evidence".] Is there by chance an evolutionists who has admitted to such a thing? Although honestly I doubt most evolutionists know that that is a verse in the Bible [That's an interesting theory, I wonder if he has any evidence to back it up?]. Also, let's look [down our noses] at the verse in its full context:
Deuteronomy 14:1-2 Ye [are] the children of the LORD your God: ye shall not cut yourselves, nor make any baldness between your eyes for the dead. For thou [art] an holy people unto the LORD thy God, and the LORD hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people [you said it] unto himself, above all the nations that [are] upon the earth.
Other nations of that time were shaving between their eyebrows in commemoration or worship of the dead. The Israelites were to stay away from all such pagan practices. Today, people may still do this, but I do not know of anyone who does [you should get out more often]. Also, it is very unlikely that anyone today trims their eyebrows for the dead [or shaves their crotch for the comatose]. As Paul [Kircher] wrote:
Romans 7:4-6 Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another [Dude, sick], even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God [Eeeeuuuu]. For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sins, which were by the law, did work in our members [huh, huh] to bring forth fruit unto death. But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.
I pray this is helpful [Oh, it has been!]. Have a great day and God bless.
In His name and for His glory,
Tune in tomorrow for Fongo's rather lengthy and rambling reply. Yeah, I know it's wrong of me to make you wait. OK, so you don't feel cheated like you did when you finally got your Sea Monkeys and X-Ray Specs, here's AiG's Fundie Funny and in this corner is RATYHTL's shameless parody.
tandem - finally, at last
talaipwria - hardship