Thoughtless for the Day

I think I'll be able to live with having missed the BattleCry rally over the weekend. Fongo, on the other hand...

Dear, BattleCry
I was overjoyed to hear about Battlecry concert that took place in Philadelphia last weekend. Unfortunately, I learned about the gathering too late to offer my services.

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jerry "Fongo" Fongowski and I am the lead guitarist for the Christian Heavy Metal group BRAÜ. I'm hoping that you may have heard of us because, and I'm doing my best to be humble here, we are quite popular in the greater-Lancaster area (In fact, I think it's fair to say that we're nearly as popular as local legends His Rod & Staff). While most Christian groups tend to write songs about the entire Bible, we've decided to focus on to Deuteronomy 14:1 which, as I'm certain you know, says:

"Ye are the children of the LORD your God: ye shall not ... make any baldness between your eyes..."

So far we've composed nearly two-dozen songs including "Slave to the Shave", "Red, White, and Brow", "A Little Trim/A Mortal Sin", and our anthem, "BRAÜ" (lyrics included below). We also do a cover of "Spirit in the Sky", only we change the words to "Ain't gonna disrupt the space between my eyes."

And we're not alone in our decision spotlight one particular Bible verse. Our good friends Christacean (formerly "Young Earth, Wind, & Fire"), with whom we often share a bill at the local fire hall, the occasional barn raising, and our local all-ages club The Corn Hole, have concentrated their considerable artistic efforts on Leviticus 11:9-12.

Both BRAÜ and Christacean would love to perform at the next BattleCry event. If you're interested please email me with the details.

Jerry "Fongo" Fongowski
Fongo23@aim.com

BRAÜ

Verse
Spreading the message - the message of BRAÜ
To every child and every hausfrau
To every Fraulein, to the man on the street
We've got to warn everyone that we meet.

You must heed our words, you must understand
The Devil is waiting with tweezers in hand
The space between your eyebrows he wants to claim
He'll pluck you and chuck you and leave you in shame

Chorus
I want you to shout it - shout it out loud
I will defend the space between my brows
I will defend the space between my brows

Verse
The Liberal Media plays you for a fool

They'll try to convince you unibrows just aren't cool
But you'll show them all that you're not dumb
The answer is in Deuteronomy 14:1

Now open your Bibles to Deuteronomy 14:1
[solo]

Chorus
I want you to shout it - from the top of the roof
The space between my brows is off-limits to you
The space between my brows is off-limits to you

I want you to shout it - shout it out loud
No one may touch the space between my brows
I will defend the space between my brows

Verse
So listen to BRAÜ and here us well
Shaving your eyebrows will lead you to Hell
So don't be deceived by Satan's lies
Don't make any baldness between your eyes

Chorus x3

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