Thoughtless for the Day

I was originally going to begin this piece with an apology for not posting for a few (paucus -a -um) days and an explanation that I've been busy with work, contributing a chapter to a book, reviewing an early draft of a friend's book, and, of course, Aid or Invade. Then I realized that this site is FREE and chock full o' enough "greatest hits" content to keep the average reader busy for weeks. The best analogy I can think of is when Creationists complain about "gaps" in the fossil record. Considering how fragile fossils are, it amazing that we have as many as we do and that we haven't shoved those fossils up some Fundie's ass because he couldn't get it through his thick hillbilly skull that the Earth is much, much older than a mere few thousand years. When you consider all that I have on my plate, it's amazing that I get as much written as I do.

Warriors Come Out To Plaaaayyyy-aaayyyyyyy

Let's start off with some good new: damn good news in fact: The palace of Ajax has been found! Yes, the Ajax from the Iliad. Remember him? Big fellow: Achilles' cousin. Oh happy day! We are now one step closer to proving that the entire Pantheon of Gods are real. Look; if every time some archeologist digs up a chunk of rock that may or may not be traced to the reign of King Solomon, some Christian call get all worked up about it being proof of the historical accuracy of the Bible, then we can do the same with Ajax's palace. Only we can get all worked up on the streets of Amsterdam. I'm not sure where I was going with that. Let's move on…

Warriors Come Out To Slaaaayyyy-aaayyyyyyy

Looks like I began assembling my tiny plastic Roman army just in time: just in time for the War on Christianity, that is. As if we weren't busy enough with the wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Gaymarriageistan, we are apparently engaged in a War on Christians.
Rather or not this is a separate war for the War on Christmas, I can't say. What I can tell you is that earlier this week "The War on Christians and the Values Voter in 2006" conference was convened in our nation's capitol. Keynote speakers included the usual rogues gallery of knuckle dragging troglodytes such as Phyllis Schlafly (who has a Gay son), Alan Keyes (who has a gay daughter, Gary Bauer (who, despite rumors of an affair with a twenty-six-year-old female staffer<.a> [put the "staff" back in staffer] is a screaming faggot), and Tom DeLay.
Tom DeLay?
Deposed House Majority Leader Tom DeLay? The same Tom Day whom, nearly one year ago today, was proven by RATYHTL scientists to be lower than whale shit in the Marianas Trench? That Tom DeLay?

Warriors Come Out To Praaaayyyy-aaayyyyyyy

With Generals like Tom DeLay calling out the battle plans, the brave Christian warriors can expect to take a great deal of casualties. For their sake, they'd better not count on faith-based medical treatment. For this was the week in which the world learned something that the rest of learned a long, long time ago: Shit in one hand, pray in the other. See which one fills up first.