Thoughtless for the Day

On Friday, Catholic Charities of Boston announce from underneath their tinfoil hats that they would be pulling out (also a popular form of Catholic birth control) of providing adoption services rather than make those services available to Gay couples. Got that? The Catholic Church is afraid that something of a "bad touch" nature might happen to children. That's like the bottomless salad bar of irony.

First, we have over half a century worth of data that shows that children raised by Gay parents are no more likely to grow up to be Gay than children raided by straight parents (Like Dick and Lynne* Cheney). Second, simple logic (remember that?) dictates that Gay parents, knowing that they're under the watchful eyes of the nations homo-haters, are less likely to fuck up and boil a child alive than their hetero counterparts. Think about it. When was the last time you read about a Gay parent killing their child? Yet hardly a week goes by when we don't hear about...

PLANO, Texas - With a calm and dispassionate voice and a hymn playing in the background, Dena Schlosser confessed to the unthinkable, telling a 911 operator she'd cut off the arms of her baby girl.

... or...

Dietz said that Laney, who is deeply religious, had a series of delusions on the day of the killings. He said she saw Aaron with a spear, then throwing a rock, then squeezing a frog and believed God was suggesting she should either stab, stone or strangle her children.

... or the Babe Ruth of Christian mothers who kill their offspring...

(CNN) -- Lawyers for Andrea Yates, the Texas woman convicted nearly three years ago of drowning her children, said Thursday they won't seek her release from a prison psychiatric ward following a court's decision Thursday to overturn her murder convictions.

And I didn't even mention the all of the Priests who've helped to put the "alter" back in alterboy.

Ladies and Germs of the Jury, the Prosecution rests.

OK, so my argument is based on fifty years worth of evidence as well as clear, simple logic, and documented example. And it's backed up by a tiny, plastic army. What does the other side have? Well, they've got a twenty-five hundred year old instruction manual for maintaining a patriarchal, non-democratic society. A book, by the way, that's filled with more wizards, witches, and unicorns than a game of Dungeons and Dragons. They've also got Mitt Romney.

Romney, whom my troops have yet to capture because he's most likely disguised himself as a woman, announced today that he would seek to pass legislation that would exempt religious groups from the state's anti-discrimination laws, allowing organizations like Catholic Charities of Boston the right to deny the chance to give a child a safe and loving home to Gays... and people who believe in Evolution... and people who think that the Earth circles the sun…and people who eat shrimp (Note: While Orthodox Jews do not eat shrimp, I don't see any Christian adoption groups handing over children to them anytime soon)... and people who shave their eyebrows... and...

If you don't want the tiny, plastic Roman army to visit your state, region, or municipality and do to it what the XXIII Legion is currently doing to Boston, then you'd better make damn sure that your community leaders and elected officials don't act like fuckwits.

* To be fair, Mrs. Cheney did pen a book which trumpets the glories of Lesbianism.