Thoughtless for the Day

"You and i [sic] will likely disagree on something, [sic] conflict is inevitable. What matters is how we attain unity and harmony within the conflict."
- Kat Swift

Stanley Moon: You're a nutcase! You're a bleedin' nutcase!

George Spiggott: They said the same of Jesus Christ, Freud, and Galileo.

Stanley Moon: They said it of a lot of nutcases too.

-From "Bedazzeled"

If you haven't already, please be sure to read Part One of this thrilling Viking saga: Not that this'll make any more sense to you, but if misery loves company, then I'm throwing a block party.

And now a few words about Green Party Presidential Wannabe Kat Swift (whose website seems to have undergone some changes including the addition of a video of here dressed as a sort of hippie Wonder Woman):

I bet if I met Kat Swift, I'd like her. OK, maybe not like, but I wouldn't hate her. She means well. Which is to say that she's basically a well meaning Hippie who thinks that war, and poverty, and racism, and sexism, and cutting down giant redwoods in order to turn them into spears with which to kill polar are all bad things. And I agree with her (except on that things, as I think we can all concur that seeing a polar bear impaled by some sort of giant tree-missile would be fuckin' awesome!). I mean, she's not qualified to President, but that never stopped George Bush.

So what's my beef with Kat Swift? I mean other than my well known dislike of Hippies? If you take the time to scan Kat's biography, you'll find the following under "Education Background""

"...aromatherapy, herbalism ... energy & body therapy techniques"

One of the few simple pleasures I've managed to enjoy over the last few years is looking down my nose at the Republican Party for their distain of Science. Thanks to the Green Party's support of Kat "Smell this ginseng and heal your inner child" Swift, I have lost the right to openly mock the likes of Mike Huckabee and the entire Dugger Clan for being superstitious peons.

Look, I'm there are a lot of decent, well meaning people out there who think that the Earth is 8,000 years old and that life begins two weeks before conception. If I can take the time out of my busy day to mock these imbeciles for their gross stupidity, shouldn't I at least offer the same opportunity to someone from my own end of the political spectrum?

Posted by Rodney Anonymous at 02:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

While the majority of Americans got to step inside a voting booth to pick the person who will lead this country into a war with I ran, I had to leave work by six in order to make it down to the Ethical Society Building in order to attend the Philadelphia Chapter of the Green Party's Presidential Caucus, last Tuesday. I was there to caucus for "No Candidate" (Don't you Republicrats whish you had that option?), but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I arrived at six-thirty, which is when caucusing was supposed to begin, just in time to be informed that the meeting was running on "Green Party Time" and that I might be sitting around for a while. That was the first in a series of baaaaad omens. If we can't start a motherscratchin' meeting on time, what chance do we ever have of capturing the White House?

The caucus organizer had set up four table (one in each corner of the auditorium) on which information about each candidate was laid out along with snacks. If the mention of snacks just made you hungry, don't worry, you're about to lose your appetite. Let's meet the candidates I had to chose from (I'll be going in the order of the tables; starting at "five o'clock" and moving clockwise)

Jesse Johnson is a former Country Line-Dance (I'm not sure if that word is hyphenated or not, and I don't plan on looking it up as that might entail catching a glimpse of photos of Country Line-Dancing) Instructor and Comedian from West Virginia. Well, that pretty much qualifies him to answer the "Red Phone" at 3 am in my book. "Mr. President, the Chinese are threatening to attack unless someone can teach them to do the "Achy Breaky". They're also demanding that someone do a painfully unfunny monologue about how New York and LA are different and some poop jokes."

Cynthia McKinney, whose table was next, is my dream candidate. You know, the dream in which the Greens nominate a deranged-looking woman who thinks Bush may've been involved in 9/11, slaps cops, and has something in common with Mel Gibson.

Kat Swift is... well Kat Swift is too much of an embarrassment to write about here. Like McKinney, she really deserves her own post. And that's just what she's going to get – next time. I get the feeling it might take me a while to tell this story.

Posted by Rodney Anonymous at 06:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)